Sakine Syndrome
by fukuji mihoko
Summary: The old Meiko unit was unpopular, so Crypton remodels her to be cuter, younger, nicer; a vast improvement. But Kaito liked the old Meiko more- and he'll do anything to get her back. :Kaito/Meiko, vague Miku/Master:
1. And then it all changed

**Sakine Syndrome  
**Chapter One

'_And Then It All Changed_'

* * *

That video haunted Kaito. No matter where he went in the city it seemed to follow him, like a persistent ghost. It had been displayed, in an almost constant loop, on the large screens on the bigger buildings. All the TVs on display in the electronics store had shown a smaller, but vastly multiplied, number of the same thing. There had been posters showing that woman's too-bright, too-young, smiling face plastered on literally every available flat surface. And now, to add insult to injury, Kaito could hear people talking about it, too.

It seemed, no matter how far away from the city centre he strayed (or, indeed, how far away from the Vocaloid household he went), he would never be free of that video.

Or the woman in it.

Watching his breath drift through the chilly November air, Kaito sat, slumped backwards, on a park bench. His hands were dug deep into the pockets of his coat, his scarf pulled up around his mouth. His eyes stared up aimlessly, as empty as the bleak, dark blue sky.

Meanwhile, a group of guys- they must have been about eighteen, nineteen, maybe in their early twenties- were talking amongst themselves about _that_ video. Some were smirking, some were making crude gestures, some were outright guffawing- but all of them made Kaito's stomach turn.

He wanted to hit them. Badly.

His fingers clenched into fists in his pockets. He bit his lower lip.

That violent thought surprised Kaito. He flinched at the voice in his own head, which was getting darker and darker without his accord- almost like a completely different person.

In all honesty, Kaito couldn't remember _ever_ thinking such venomous thoughts before.

Not when his part in a duet with Miku was swapped with Rin because '_she's more popular'_.

Not when he'd been trying to solve that Rubik's Cube for two hours, and Len plucked it from his fingers with a sigh and a 'geez, it's not that hard', and solved it in little under a minute- which had made Kaito feel like quite an idiot.

Not even when Rin ate all his ice-cream, even though she didn't _like _it, just to '_see the look on your stuu-pid face, Bakaito_!'

Kaito hadn't been angry, not even then- although he _had_ felt strangely depressed when he'd opened the freezer to find it empty. He ingested so much Häagen-Dazs it was as essential to his survival as air or water.

Well, Kaito would never have hit Rin, anyway; he'd have felt physically ill if the thought so much as crossed his mind. Rin was cruel, yes, but she never meant it seriously- and anyway, she was just a kid.

And now, so was she.

_Meiko._

Although, that wasn't strictly true anymore, was it? She wasn't Meiko, the woman in red who didn't know her limits when it came to alcohol and had a bit (a 'bit' being an understatement) of an anger management problem- not anymore. She was the all-new, upgraded, shiny and amazing sixteen year old girl who danced with such a happy smile in all those videos and on all those posters and in all the minds of every single person within a fifty mile radius.

Kaito had to hand it to Crypton- they'd done a _very_ good job advertising the newest Meiko model, or 'Sakine 16', as they called her. You couldn't take two steps out of your own home without seeing her face somewhere, or hearing a mention of her from a passing stranger.

Sakine 16 had been featured on every early-morning breakfast talk show and quite a few news stations over the past few weeks, and her popularity had taken off like a rocket. Now, only into fifteen days of her release, there were rumours she'd be just as popular as the Kagamines- maybe even as popular as _Miku- _which was almost unthinkable.

It was funny, though...

When it came to spats about 'popularity', nobody ever mentioned Kaito. In fact, they rarely mentioned him at all. The only people who seemed to care about his existance were the fangirls who paired him off with Len, and drew rather graphic doujinshi about them getting together- and getting pretty... _intimate _together, too, in a matter of seconds after the confession scene (which usually involved tears).

Kaito only knew about the existence of those doujins because Rin had bought a couple at a comic festival. She had burst through the front door that day and practically shoved them in Kaito's face, going "read this, read this! It's really _interesting_!" And then she'd stood there, grinning the grin of one who had no compassion in their heart, as Kaito's eyes grew wider and wider and his skin became paler and paler.

At least Len handled it fairly well. He'd just sighed, gone "whatever. I don't care about your weird hobbies, Rin," and hit his sort-of sister gently over the head with his fist.

But, then again, Len didn't have to worry about his popularity being based solely on strange fan works; his CDs all sold well, and he had a large fan base devoted to the 'cute' brother sister dynamic between himself and Rin.

Who did Kaito have?

Even though he'd never been popular- always stood off to one side whilst the limelight shone perpetually on Miku, Rin and Len- he hadn't been alone.

He'd always been with Meiko.

But now, thanks to the creation of Sakine 16, it felt like she was drifting away. Or maybe she already had. Maybe... it was already too late to reach her...

As Kaito mused, the conversation between the boys drifted back to him;

"Man, don't you think her upgrade is pretty _fi~ne_, if you know what I mean? Hahaha."

"Oh, I hear you! She's way more sexy than before- Crypton sure know what they're doing with their little lolicon mascots. I think they might just've got a new fan."

"She was pretty old and boring before- like, eurghhh. She reminded me of my _mom_- and that's just fucking sad. But now- ahh, well, I hope they do a bikini special with _her_ like they did Miku."

"It'd be even better with Sakine, though, 'cause unlike Miku she's actually got a fucking sexy figure- you can see it so _well_, what with that short skirt and skin-tight shirt..."

"I know, totally. Her tits in that are like-"

And that was when Kaito decided he didn't want to listen anymore. He closed his eyes, hoping it would help blot the sound out, too- but of course, it didn't. If anything, he could hear every minute detail of the conversation more sharply. His shoulders began to shudder.

He really, _really _wanted to hit them.

There had been nothing wrong with Meiko the way she was. In fact, she'd been perfect- if not to the general public, than to the Vocaloid family. She was Miku and Rin and Len's big sister. How could she fulfil that role when she was now physically, and mentally, not that much older than Rin herself?

She had been Kaito's best friend.

But she didn't remember that anymore, either.

Kaito didn't know what, exactly, the scientists at Crypton had done to her brain. However, when she returned from the lab (after what Crypton had reassured the Vocaloids, falsely, was just a 'minute check-up, nothing too big, so don't worry'), her memories seemed to have been wiped. She knew who her family was, of course, but she couldn't remember any of the separate times she'd spent with them, or all the fun they'd had.

Not the time they all went to the Obon Festival. Not the time they went to the beach and smashed watermelons on the sand. Not even the time they went camping, and Kaito set up his sleeping bag on an ants' nest, and then he fell into a patch of nettles searching for his shoes that Rin had hidden, and Miku accidentally dropped the map into a pond so they got hopelessly lost and then Meiko hit Kaito upside the head and declared it- and all other misfortunes that had ever befallen anybody in the whole universe, ever- was Kaito's fault. Somehow. Because it always was.

She was still Meiko, in that she had the same body; it had just been slightly altered. Shorter. Wider eyes. A more 'innocent' face.

But her memories had all-but vanished.

And her personality was completely different.

She looked like the old Meiko, and sometimes Kaito thought he caught glimpses of that woman he knew so well in the more subtle expressions on her face; but she was, in essence, a completely different person.

An imitation.

No, not even that.

She wasn't even _trying _to imitate Meiko. She was living in her skin, using her heart to pump her blood, but she was as similar to Meiko as death metal was to classical music; they were two complete different entities. Both death metal and classical were types of music, and both Meikos shared one body- but they weren't the same, and never would be.

_Never would be..._

Kaito wondered if that was true. Would he _really_ never see Meiko again? Would she _always_ be that cute, smiling, innocent school girl, dancing in a girlish outfit to a bubbly pop song about honey and cute emoticons?

Was that really it?

Kaito bit his lower lip. The corners of his eyes began to bead with tears- his view of the sky above began to blur- and he sniffled, wiping an arm across his face, shaking his head. Trying to stop himself from crying. What would that have looked like, a fully-grown man on a park bench outside, sobbing to himself like a child?

Meiko's voice answered for him:

_Pathetic._

_You're pathetic, Bakaito! Stop that! You've gotta shape up, okay? You're a man, right, so act like it!_

But Meiko would never speak to him like that again. At least, Sakine 16 certainly wouldn't have done.

And that knowledge was enough to break down any restraint Kaito might have had.

It was _weak_.

It was _pathetic._

But, at that moment, it also felt horribly necessary- because if he didn't vent out his emotions like that, he didn't know what he'd do. He was sure, if he tried to bottle these feelings up inside, they'd explode, like gun powder. He'd do something stupid- well, he _was_ stupid- like hurting those men, who were really beginning to piss him off, or, or-

But Kaito couldn't think beyond that.

All he could do was sit there and cry.

And wonder when his tears would stop.

* * *

**a/n: **: I decided to write some Kaito/Meiko because who doesn't like Kaito/Meiko? XD They're very desu, yanno.

**~renahhchen xoxoxo**


	2. Why did I say that?

**Sakine Syndrome  
**Chapter Two

''_Why Did I Say That?_"

* * *

"Aaah! I'm really tired!" said Meiko- no, _not _Meiko, the imitation- as she sat down on the sofa with a dull _thwump!_

"N-not that I'm being rude to Master," Meiko clarified, after a short pause. Two pink spots appeared on her cheeks, like cherry blossoms. "I-I understand he has to make money, and I'd gladly do anything for him! But I wish I didn't have to work so very much. I-is that selfish, Miku-nee-chan?"

"It's not selfish. I know how you feel- maybe better than anyone else," said Miku gently, handing the girl a cup of hot chocolate. "They've been working you pretty hard." She bit her lip. "It's not fair; you were only made a few weeks ago. You haven't even got a chance to adjust to our family..."

Miku's sentence hung in the air, lost in a void of silence. Her unspoken words were clearly audible to anyone with half a brain: _and we haven't had a chance to adjust to you, either._

Meiko mumbled a small thanks to Miku and took a sip of her hot chocolate. Her eyes brightened significantly at this, and a small smile crossed her mouth. A pure, sincere smile- worlds apart from Meiko's usual expressions. But, then again, _this _expression was 'usual' for her now; Crypton had made sure of that. They'd eradicated the old Meiko; taken her to pieces and built up a new 'perfect girl' in her place. Would she ever scowl or curse or abuse Kaito ever again?

It was... unlikely.

The scientists at the Crypton laboratories were too highly skilled to leave any stone unturned as they remodelled the old Meiko. They'd carefully, painstakingly, scoured out every last remnant of the old Meiko from Sakine 16's brain, until nothing was left in her skull but rainbows and sugar and sweetness and love.

"It tastes good," said Meiko softly, letting the taste of hot chocolate dance across her tongue. She closed her eyes, in a state of bliss. "I've never had anything so nice before!"

"A-ah, well," Miku laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head. "I-it's not that good, really. Anyone can make hot chocolate. You're only saying that because you're naïve- my kitchen skills are pretty terrible."

Meiko never used to let Miku anywhere near the kitchen- not since Miku's series of 'interesting' experiments with leek. Leek soufflé, leek cheesecake, leek parfait… It had been enough to turn even Rin's stomach, and she'd eat almost anything.

"No, it's delicious, Miku-nee-chan! Seriously!" Meiko nodded, a serious expression flickering across her face- determined to prove to Miku her hot chocolate really was ambrosia of the Gods.

But, even though Meiko was praising her, Miku couldn't help but feel… hollow.

_Miku-nee-chan._

The phrase buzzed around in Miku's head. Like a fly in a spiders' web, it stuck in her brain- refused to leave.

Big sister.

That was what Meiko called her now.

But wasn't that a complete role reversal? Meiko had always been the mother figure, the 'big sister', the one who scolded Rin when she bullied Len and forced Kaito to eat all his green peas even if he'd rather have ice-cream. Now, it was Meiko who was calling Miku 'big sis', looking up at the twin-tailed diva adoringly, like a baby sparrow would look at their mother- and yes, it was sweet, and Miku supposed she should have felt flattered, but at the same time it was _wrong_- horribly wrong.

Miku's face contorted for a few seconds, flickering between a false smile and a much more real, but slightly depressing, frown.

In the end her face caught between the two expressions, so it looked like she was going to be sick.

"Hmn?" Meiko made a small noise of worry, blinking up at her 'big sis' over the top of her cup. "Are you feeling alright, Miku-nee-chan? Do you want me to help you with anything?"

At Meiko's concern, Miku's expression instantly snapped into a happy smile- just like an actress on a stage. Reading through scripted lines, playing a role. None of it was real. Even Meiko could see that, and she had little experience with people, or reading emotions.

"N-no, I'm okay!" Miku reassured, shaking her head. Her twin tails bounced as she did so.

"Are you sure, Miku-nee-chan?"

"I'm sure! It's okay! Everything is... fine." Miku giggled softly. "Drink your hot chocolate, Mei-chan. I'm-"

Suddenly, a loud thunk from upstairs, followed by a shout of "hey, that's mine!", made both Vocaloids jump. Meiko nearly spilt her drink over herself. Then, more shouts followed the previous- something like "get off, Rin!", and then there was a series of crashes and a yelp of pain.

Miku's face turned pale.

"A-ah, you sit there, Mei-chan," said Miku. "I better check on Len and Rin-chan..." She frowned. "Before they pull the house down."

"Y-yes, onee-chan..."

Meiko watched Miku dash for the stairs, taking them two at a time, shouting something like "stop it, remember what happened last time!"

Was this a regular occurrence, then...?

Meiko shuddered. She didn't like violence- and arguments between families were upsetting. Rin and Len had seemed to kind and friendly enough when she'd been at the recording studio with them, and they'd gone through their choreography together, dancing in front of the cameras for that 'Honey' video. Was that just an act for the general public?

With a small frown, Meiko took another sip of hot chocolate. It didn't taste as nice as before. Instead of soothing her throat, the sweet taste dancing pleasantly across her tongue, it seemed to scald her, searing her taste buds. It was almost _too _sweet- sickly. Meiko shuddered, placing the cup down on a nearby table. Then, she drew her knees up under her chin, wrapping her arms round them. She stared blankly straight forward.

Even though Miku, Rin and Len had all been kind to her, in their own ways, it... it didn't seem like they really _cared_ about her.

It was almost as if they resented her.

But why would they? Meiko hadn't done anything mean to them- she was always polite and friendly, and she'd even offered to clean the house and make their meals, even though she'd been run ragged by work- filming more music videos, learning lyrics, recording songs, and going on so many talk shows and to so many conventions it was making her head spin.

Maybe she was tired, so she wasn't seeing things right? Her new family couldn't _really _hate her, right? After all, she loved them; Miku-nee-chan was so kind, and Len was so smart, and Rin was so much fun to be with.

And Kaito-nii-chan...

At the mere thought of the blue-haired Vocaloid, Meiko felt something constrict in her chest. With a small whimper, she drew her legs closer to her body, resting her head atop of them.

He seemed to really despise her.

The others gave Meiko funny looks from time to time, but they always tried to disguise them. Miku was unfailingly cheerful, and Len was always polite, and Rin would always tease her or prod fun at her, cracking jokes and laughing wickedly.

But it was like Kaito didn't even _try _to hide his hatred.

He'd barely spent five minutes in the same room as her. When he spoke to her, his voice was in a monotone, with no real emotion. And when she called him 'Kaito-nii-chan', or touched his arm, or tried to offer him some form of comfort, he would always flinch and push her away.

And he'd never even tell her why.

She must have done something wrong. Maybe she'd violated some custom the Vocaloid household had, without realising it, and they were too polite to tell her, but inside they were really irritated or upset? Or maybe it was because she was 'new', and they hadn't adjusted? Or maybe...

Meiko gave a small sob.

She didn't know.

She didn't know why they hated her- why Kaito _despised _her- and she wasn't sure if she wanted to know.

But she was going to try her best to be accepted. She'd work even harder to keep everyone happy- she'd keep smiling, and being cheerful- and maybe then, just maybe, they'd accept her. And grow to love her back. Because Meiko loved her family.

It was as Meiko was preoccupied with these thoughts, that the sound of the door opening distracted her.

_Slam._

"I'm home," Kaito's voice called from the hallway.

He sounded tired. Exhausted. Meiko wondered what he'd been doing; maybe it was something work-related? If so, Meiko sympathised; she'd been drenched in a deluge of work for the past two weeks, and knew how strict Master could be.

The mere sound of Kaito's weary voice made something tremble, uncertain, in Meiko's chest. Her heartbeat began to speed up, ever so slightly, and her cheeks flushed lightly.

For whatever reason, she only wanted to make Kaito happy.

To see him smile.

He always looked so miserable- and that was unacceptable. When Kaito was miserable, it made Meiko feel sad, too, like part of her was missing. And he was so good-looking, save that perpetual frown- she was _positive _a smile would only make him look better.

Meiko listened, head resting on her knees, as Kaito took off his shoes and walked into the living room.

At the sight of Meiko, curled up on the sofa like a cat, a rather dark expression seemed to cross his face. With a small greeting, he made to leave the room- but, without giving it too much thought (all she knew was that it was important, _incredibly important,_ to see Kaito smile at her), Meiko sprung to her feet and took hold of Kaito's arm.

He froze, an ice sculpture, as Meiko hung onto him. His fingers were inches away from the door handle.

"What's wrong?" Meiko asked softly, staring up at him with wide eyes. "Tell me... what's wrong... Please."

"Meiko?"

Meiko frowned. Words began to form in her brain- and they seemed so _right_ she couldn't keep them to herself. Without thinking, they spewed forth from her lips, before she could snatch them back; "if you don't tell me what's the matter right now you'll be very sorry indeed, _Bakaito_."

At this, Kaito's eyes widened- really widened- and he turned to give Meiko an incredulous look.

"M-mei-chan...?"

It was the first time he'd referred to her with an honorific; usually he didn't use her name at all, but when he did, it was always 'Meiko'. Just 'Meiko'- no sense of friendship in his cold words at all.

But that was different.

That... sounded like he actually cared for her.

But, already, Meiko's cheeks were heating up, and she was trembling, and her brain was shouting at her; _why did you say __that__, you dummy? You were trying to be nice to him, to make him smile, not INSULT him! What if you've offended him?_

"A-ah," Meiko stammered, tripping over her words, her face burning, "I-I'm sorry, Kaito-nii-chan-"

Kaito's face instantly darkened. The brief, momentary smile that had quirked his lips vanished, as though it had never existed at all- as though it had been a mirage, a hallucination, a delusion.

And maybe it had.

Maybe Meiko was just _that_ desperate for him to accept her.

"No..." Kaito was speaking softly, but Meiko could still hear him. Maybe he wanted her to hear him; or maybe he wasn't aware he was talking at all. "No. Of course not. Haha... I'm such an idiot."

"K-kaito-nii-chan...?"

"Don't call me that."

And, using more force than was necessary, Kaito pushed Meiko away. She gave a small whimper as she staggered backwards, almost- but not quite- losing her balance.

Kaito looked at her- and, for one moment, remorse flickered across his eyes. But then, in an instant, it gutted out, like a weak flame on a candle.

"Don't ever, _ever_ call me that."

And, with those parting words, Kaito slammed the door closed.

Meiko sniffled softly, feeling her eyes fill with tears. What had she done wrong?

The look on his face...

It was like he really hated her.

* * *

**a/n: **ummm. I guess this fic was more popular than I assumed it would be XD~ I didn't realise that many people liked KaiMei XD~  
Thank you reading this, guys ^_^

**renahhchen xoxo**


	3. Tips to True Romance by Kasane Teto

**Sakine Syndrome  
**Chapter Three

'_Tips to True Romance- by Kasane Teto_'

* * *

"Mei-chan, what's wrong, what's wrong?"

"H-huh?" Meiko blinked slowly, confused, at the blur of red eyes and red curls that was sat in front of her.

"Man~" said Kasane Teto, shaking her head. As she did so, her impossible, gravity-defying, physics-destroying twin drills bounced merrily, as though they were actual living creatures. She giggled, peering into Meiko's face. "You need to get it together, Mei-chan; you're lookin' a lii~iitle spaced out there. Hahaha!~"

"O-oh, um... I-I'm sorry."

Meiko flushed slightly. She stared down at her fingers, coiled together in her lap. It was easier looking at her fingers than at Teto; that girl had a very piercing stare. Even though she acted like an airhead, Meiko suspected Teto was far smarter than she let on- and something about her eyes made Meiko feel like she was a specimen under a microscope, being observed.

Meiko had met Kasane Teto on a talk show. The red-headed girl had been called a, what was it... UTAUloid- that was it. Another robot designed for singing, like Meiko, but by a different company. There was meant to be an enmity between Vocaloids and UTAUloids. However, when Meiko had spoken to Teto after the show (more like, Teto had bounded up to Meiko, latched onto her arm and then proceeded to speak rapidly at about five thousand words a minute about everything in the solar system, from her hair care regime to her favourite animal cracker), the pair had become 'friends'. After all, it was hard to hate a girl like Teto, who was so bright and happy and smiley. She was like balm for troubled hearts; more soothing than hot chocolate on a winter's day.

After the pair formed their unlikely alliance, Teto had been dragging Meiko everywhere round the city on their days off, with the hopes of seeing 'everything this world has to offer! Let's go!'

The only reason Meiko knew her way around the city now was because of Teto. She'd been out a couple of times with Miku, Rin and Len, sure- but she always got the (perhaps not entirely unjustified) feeling they didn't really want to be around her. Teto, however, was always bright and chipper and eager, and Meiko knew Teto valued her company- so, in the end, Meiko allowed Teto to guide her round her new home instead.

This had proved, on some occasions, to be a tad disastrous, though. Neither Teto or Meiko knew their way around the city- and Teto didn't believe in maps, saying they 'curbed her creativity', or something. So their excursions out really were a case of the blind leading the blind, with neither knowing where they were going, or where they'd end up.

Even so, it was still fun.

Being around somebody so carefree always made Meiko forget her own problems- like that ever-growing rift between herself and Kaito. For a few hours at least, she could laugh and have fun.

At that moment in time, the Meiko and Teto were sat in a small café. Meiko had been sipping her strawberry milkshake, when a man had entered who looked an awful lot like a palette-swapped Kaito; same hairstyle, same manner of dress, even the same _scarf_, except it was red, not blue. And that had brought Meiko's mind back to Kaito, and then she'd been a slave to her own thoughts. She'd almost completely forgotten Teto was there at all.

At least, until Teto decided to forcefully remind Meiko of her presence by invading her personal space and shouting in her ear.

If there was one thing Meiko had learnt, it was not to ignore Teto. That girl was rather sweet most of the time, but if you failed to pay attention to her for more than three seconds, she could get _vicious_.

"It's A-OK, Mei-chan~" said Teto, sinking back into her chair. "Just give me a heads up before you slip into lala land next time, m'kay?"

"A-alright..."

"Goood~" Teto all-but purred. "Now. To business!" She slammed her hands on the table at that 'epic' proclamation- then winced, slightly. She'd obviously hit the table with too much force.

Meiko felt her cheeks flush again, as various eyes in the cafe swivelled to stare at them. That was, however, the general public's natural response when it came to Teto. She just commanded attention, with her loud voice and high-pitched laughter and insane hair. She was about as subtle as forest fire- and just as difficult to ignore. Meiko was slowly getting accustomed to being the centre of the public eye when she was with Teto- but that didn't mean she felt any less embarrassed.

Sometimes, Meiko wished she was as fearless as Teto.

"W-what business, Teto-chan?" Meiko asked, somewhat dubiously. She didn't like that glimmer in Teto's eyes... "It's not anything illegal, right?"

She wouldn't put it past Teto to do something illegal 'for fun'. That was Teto's reasoning behind most of her illogical actions- 'it was fun'.

However, Meiko didn't think that excuse would hold up in court if Teto actually _did _do something illegal.

"Huh? N-no, of course not!" Teto laughed, shaking her hands in a dismissive gesture.

"What is it, then?"

"Oh, nothing really~" said Teto in a sing-song voice, idly picking bits off her blueberry muffin. "I was just wondering what's got you all hot and bothered, that's all."

Meiko's eyes widened slightly at this. She opened her mouth, tried to protest- "I-I'm not!"- but, of course, she began to blush and stutter even _more_, just to prove Teto's point.

Sometimes Meiko hated her blush reflex; almost anything could trigger it, and once she'd started, it began to seem like she'd never stop.

"Hehehe~ Mei-chan looks so cute when she's flustered."

"N-ngh... Damn it..."

Shame-faced, Meiko glared at Teto's muffin, as though she was trying to blow it up with her brain. Unsurprisingly, it didn't work. But oh- if looks could kill, that poor, much-abused by Teto's bizarre eating habits muffin would've been a smouldering, blackened mess of charcoal...

"Wow. Mei-chan looks pretty horrifying when she pulls faces like that," said Teto, tilting her head to one side. "Scaa~aary."

"Oh, be quiet," Meiko snapped, folding her arms across her chest.

"You're not normally this violent, Mei-chan~ Have I hit a nerve?"

"N-no!"

"Is it..." Teto paused, as to build up suspense. Her eyes widened, mischievous, her whole face glowing like the Andromeda galaxy. She was having _far _too much fun teasing Meiko; she was almost like Rin in that respect. "Guy trouble?"

Meiko recoiled a little at this. She hadn't believed her face could get any redder, but it just did. She looked like a tomato, with eyes and a nose- which wasn't remotely flattering.

"Of course not!" Meiko retorted- wishing she sounded more mature, more womanly, instead of a blushing, stuttering, embarrassed little girl. "Where did you get that idea?"

Teto shrugged, grinning wickedly. "I dunno. It was just an idea. But maybe it was right?"

"N-not really..."

But as Meiko tried to deny Teto's words, her eyes snagged on that Kaito lookalike in the background. Instantly, her mind was filled with images of her onii-chan again; of how distant he was, how haunted he looked by her presence, and how she wished, from the bottom of her heart, he could smile at her, like how he smiled at Miku or Len or Rin.

But that wasn't _love_, was it?

She wanted him to acknowledge her. To _like _her.

She wanted him to be happy.

But...

"Mei-chan."

Meiko lifted her head. Teto's voice had sounded strangely serious- not light-hearted or teasing, but genuinely concerned.

"Mei-chan, if that's the case, you can tell me! I'm a mine of good information, y'know? I'll help you out when you're in a pinch- that's what friends are for!"

"Um..."

Meiko looked down at her lap again.

She pondered.

Would it be a good thing to tell Teto? She didn't really understand her own feelings herself- how could anybody else? But Meiko felt like she'd been carrying her thoughts around for too long, keeping them all to herself, and now they'd grown too immense, too daunting, too heavy; she needed to share her worries with another person, or she'd collapse.

And maybe Teto knew what do to about Kaito- because Meiko didn't. And the thought of him being so cold and aloof _forever_ was so depressing Meiko thought she could cry.

Meiko's fingers curled up into fists.

Her eyes narrowed.

And then, her mind made up and heart filled with resolve, she lifted her head and began to speak.

* * *

"Are you sure this will work, Teto-chan?"

"Of course, of course! Trust me- I've read shoujo manga! I know how this stuff works! Hehehe~"

Following Meiko's confession at the café, Teto's eyes had lit up like fireworks. Then, with no explanation, she had jumped to her feet, shouted "I got it!~", and grabbed hold of Meiko's hand.

Teto had dragged Meiko out of the cafe at near-light speed. Meiko barely had enough time to thrust the necessary money into the hands of the nearest, surprised waitress, and mutter a quick thanks, before Teto had pulled her out into the street.

Some ten minutes and a bus journey later, Teto and Meiko had ended up at the Vocaloid household. Thankfully, it had been empty; Miku had left a note on the fridge saying she'd gone shopping with Kaito, and Rin and Len had gone... to the zoo, Meiko vaguely remembered, because Rin had a sudden urge to go there on a whim and Len really had no choice in the matter. Meiko had to sigh in relief at this; she wasn't sure how she would've explained the whirlwind insanity that was Kasane Teto to her family.

Teto was a pretty dangerous person, despite her cute appearance and short stature; almost everything she touched broke, and she had the extraordinary talent of being able to turn a tidy room into a bombsite in less then a nanosecond.

Once Teto had pulled Meiko into the kitchen, she'd stolen an apron from somewhere (Meiko recognised it as Rin's, from the cute orange-print that dotted it), and then began to dig around in the fridge and freezer and every single cupboard, until she had an array of cooking utensils and cans and bags piled up on the table.

Only five seconds in, and the kitchen already looked like a mess.

"Oh, you might wanna put an apron on too, Mei-chan," Teto had said, over her shoulder, as she tore open a bag of flour.

"W-why? what are we doing?" Meiko had asked, looking about the kitchen with worry. Rin, Miku and Kaito probably wouldn't have cared much, but Len was incredibly organised, and Meiko couldn't see him cheering for joy when he came home. It was a wonder how he and Rin were even so close- they were polar opposites.

Well, opposites _did_ attract- but Rin and Len were really pushing that aphorism. Their relationship was so unlikely, it was almost like the eighth wonder of the world- Meiko had never seen two people with a functioning (or dysfunctional, as the case was) relationship like theirs before.

"I thought it would've been obvious," Teto had said, rolling her eyes. "You're not all that smartsicle, are you, Mei-Mei? C'mon, shape up!"

Meiko said, still looking about, confusedly, "I... don't get it."

Teto had sighed, and reached forwards to bonk Meiko over the head with a wooden spoon. "It's elementary, my dear Mei-chan! We're going to make cookies!"

"But why...?"

"Ah, geez. You need to ask 'why'? The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, right?"

Meiko had heard that saying before, but every time it came up her mind always gave her a horrible image of a woman with clawed hands trying to physically rip through a man's stomach to reach his heart, nestled up in his ribcage. Gore and splatter were involved.

Meiko shuddered.

"It's simple, right?" Teto had said, clasping her hands together at her front. Flour stuck to her cheeks and caught in her hair- but Meiko didn't bother pointing that out. She didn't think Teto would care. "You put a load of love and effort into baking these cookies, and then you give them to the guy you like, and he'll be all 'wow! That's so nice', and he'll realise how much you love him and he'll be all flattered and stuff!~"

"Oh really…"

Meiko couldn't help but feel a little sceptical at this.

She was sure those dark looks Kaito shot her couldn't be cured with cookies- but Teto seemed to have a lot of knowledge about that sort of thing (she did play a lot of dating sims and read a lot of a manga), so Meiko decided... maybe... she could trust her.

"A-alright... I'll give it a go."

"Good!~ Let's get started, then!"

* * *

**a/n: **yeah Teto yeahhh :3  
oh, and in a response to a review I got I couldn't respond to... This fic is set before Gakupo and Luka came out; hence, the only Japanese Vocaloids are Kaito, Meiko, Miku, Rin and Len. I thought that would have been obvious, given Luka is never ever mentioned? And in my head canon the english vocaloids live in their own respective countries, not with the Japanese vocaloids. So please don't be telling me to 'do my research', okay?


	4. Let me into your heart

**Sakine Syndrome  
**Chapter Four

''_Let Me Into Your Heart_"

* * *

"Wow! These taste really good!"

"Hey, get your grubby paws off them."

"B'uh Mei-chaan, th'r nicee!"

"And don't talk with your mouth full!" Meiko scolded.

In one fluid motion, Meiko grabbed hold of Rin's hair ribbon and tugged at it. The elastic snapped back with an audible 'ping!' when she let go, like a rubber band, nailing Rin in the head with a sharp burst of pain.

Rin squealed, jumping up. She'd been stealing the cookies Meiko made, and had been chewing one such cookie when Meiko launched her offensive assault. Rin very nearly bit off the tip of her tongue when Meiko did that.

"Hey, Mei-chan!" Rin yelled, taking off her ribbon hastily so Meiko couldn't use it as a weapon anymore. "That wasn't very nice!"

"I don't care," Meiko retorted, folding her arms. "It's your own fault for stealing my food."

Rin continued to pout, muttering something about 'mean Mei-chan' under her breath. However, there was a certain degree of... almost _fondness_ in her voice.

As though she was glad.

Meiko didn't know what cause Rin had to be happy. She'd just attacked her. Shouldn't Rin be upset? And,_ yeah_, Rin **did** deserve to be hit about the head sometimes (she said and did the most outrageous things, without thinking ((or caring)) who her words/actions would affect), but surely that was no excuse for violence? Meiko was beginning to feel just a little guilty.

Not guilty enough to apologize, though.

She'd worked hard baking those cookies for Kaito, and if Rin tried to steal any more Meiko really _would _give Rin something to complain about. Baking the actual cookies had only been half of the challenge. The other half was trying to clean up the mess Teto had left in the kitchen. Teto was enthusiastic about cooking, and had seemed truly dedicated to helping Meiko, but a rampaging bull would've left the kitchen in a tidier state than an over-exuberant Teto who, in her own words, 'only wanted to help.'

"But those cookies looked so tasty!" Rin tried to defend her thievery, folding her arms. "I couldn't help myself!"

"That's your problem," said Len, creeping up behind Rin and tugging at her hair, upon realizing there was no over-sized bow to pull. "You can never help yourself."

Rin jumped as though she'd been poked with a pin, and wheeled about with narrowed eyes to glare at Len.

"L-len! You're being mean to be too?"

Len smirked. "It looks like it, doesn't it?"

"That's so cruel! We're meant to be twins-"

"Mirror images?"

"Whatever!" Rin exploded. She puffed her cheeks out like a bullfrog (which wasn't a very attractive look) and folded her arms with an almighty 'harrumph!' "I don't care _what_ we are. All I know is, you're meant to help me out! You should fight alongside me against our enemies!"

"...But you're always so horrible to me, I'd class you as my enemy, too." Len's voice was deadpan.

"Le~ennn!" Rin squealed, diving forwards to tickle the other Vocaloid. "You can't say things like that! What would our fanbase say?"

"Oh, it would kill them. Get off me, Rin."

"No!"

"Y-you're- kyahhh!- _hurting _me!"

"Ooh, Len looks so shota when he does that! Where's Mr. Calm, Cool and Aloof _now_, huh? Where is he? Did Big, Bad, Scaryyy Rin chase him away? Gyahahaha!"

"G-get off! Get off get off get off!"

"Aww, look!" Rin cooed, her fingers scrabbling under Len's neck and arms as she tried to tickle him into an early grave. Len squealed, trying to bat her away, but Rin's strength always got an upgrade when it came to tormenting Len. Trying to pry Rin off at that point would've been like trying to pull a limpet from a rock- almost impossible. "Len's blushing, Len's blushing!"

"I-I'm not!"

Meiko watched the scene play out before her with narrowed eyes, her hands going to her hips. She didn't want Rin and Len messing up the kitchen- she'd only just cleaned it up.

Children like that needed to be taught a lesson.

Meiko didn't know why she was thinking that exactly (wasn't violence wrong? She was sure that viewpoint had been programmed into her brain), but she couldn't disobey her gut instinct.

Rin and Len were giving her a headache.

"Hey! You two! Shape up!" Meiko shouted, reaching forwards to crack Rin and Len's heads together.

Rin immediately let go of Len. Len gave a small cry of pain, his hands pressing against his much abused skull, as though trying to keep it together.

"Kayhh!" Rin wailed. Then, her eyes began impossibly large, and she began to sniffle. "Well! I know when I'm not wanted! Scaryyy! Mei-chan is violent and scaryyy!"

Then, with a killer pout, Rin grabbed hold of Len's hand, and began to drag him away.

"H-hey, wait-" Meiko called after Rin and Len- but they ignored her.

Meiko sighed, massaging her temple with her fingertips.

Was that... the right thing to do?

* * *

"Wahhh! Miku-nee-chan, Miku-nee-chan!"

Miku jumped as her bedroom door was flung open, revealing Rin and Len. Miku had been painting her toenails turquoise. However, at the twins' over-dramatic entrance, Miku's hands went flying into the air, upending the bottle of varnish on the floor. A streak of sparkling turquoise ran across Miku's foot and her leek-print bed sheets.

"R-rin? Len? What's wrong?" Miku asked.

"Mei-chan! It's Mei-chan!" Rin exclaimed, letting go of Len.

As soon as she did, Len collapsed onto the floor, breathing heavily. It looked like Rin had been dragging him around again.

"What's wrong with Mei-chan?" Miku asked nervously, her mind running through various scenarios. "What is it?"

"She..." Rin paused for dramatic effect, then shouted, "beat me up!"

There was a brief silence.

Miku blinked at Rin slowly, as though she'd said something really, really stupid (although, of course, if that was the case, Miku would never have said so. Miku was too kind-hearted to even _dream _of calling someone stupid- even if that someone _was_ Kagamine Rin).

"But..." Miku said slowly. She frowned. "Doesn't Mei-chan always do that?"

"You're not thinking, Mii-nee-chan," said Rin, prodding Miku in the forehead. "_Normal_ Mei-chan wouldn't do that. But this one..."

Miku blinked at Rin a couple more times, like a doll.

Then, she gave a small 'ah...'

She smiled.

"You don't think... Mei-chan is..."

_Recovering?_

But Miku wasn't sure if that was the right word. Was it wrong to hope Sakine 16 'recovered' when, technically, she was her own person in Meiko's old body? Wasn't 'recovering' a little insensitive?

But it seemed like there was still hope.

Maybe... they could bring the old Meiko back.

Her original personality was still there, lurking at the back of the new Meiko's mind. Obviously Crypton hadn't been as thorough as they'd believed when they'd rebuilt her mind to match 'cute' ideals.

Because maybe, just maybe...

Rin smiled.

"The old Mei-chan is still in there."

And they could save her.

Save her before she disappeared completely.

But...

What would happen to Sakine 16?

* * *

"U-um... Can I come in?"

Kaito sighed at that voice. He recognized it as Meiko- but not the Meiko he knew (he would say 'his' Meiko, but Meiko had _never_ been 'his', and he'd ever said, or even dreamed of saying that, then she would have hit him). It was the new one. The 'upgrade'.

Meiko had never sounded so shy or sweet.

If the old Meiko had wanted to talk to Kaito, she'd have kicked down his door, grabbed him by his collar and shouted in his ear.

Kaito used to complain about this rough treatment to Miku, and Miku had always laughed and patted him on the head. However, now Meiko was completely different... it was crazy, but he missed the way she'd been before.

Kaito thought about ignoring Sakine 16. He could pretend he'd fallen asleep. Or he could forget pretending, and tell her straight-out he didn't want to talk to her.

Because he didn't.

Every time she looked at him with those wide eyes and that small, tentative smile, his stomach turned.

Meiko shouldn't have been like that.

But she _wasn't_ Meiko, and Kaito was beginning to feel guilty he was treating her so horribly. It wasn't Sakine 16's fault. If anything, he should have been directing his anger at Crypton.

But... those men that worked for Master were disturbing.

_Master _was disturbing.

He held so much power over the Vocaloids; he was their 'father', in a sense, but he could terminate any of them easily, at the push of a button.

It was easier hating Sakine 16.

It was easier pushing his misery onto somebody who couldn't fight back.

And that was so cowardly he hated himself.

There was a pause. Kaito thought Sakine 16 had gone.

But... no.

"Kaito-nii...?"

_Big brother._

Kaito winced as though he'd just bitten into a lemon.

Maybe he should _try_ acting like a big brother for a change. Being cruel to Sakine 16 wasn't fun, and it never made him feel better. Instead, it made him feel worse. She didn't deserve to be hated just because she alive. Nobody deserved that.

"It's okay, Mei-chan," said Kaito, trying to push the exhaustion from his voice. "You can come in."

"A-ah! Thank you!"

She sounded so happy it was painful.

The door slid open and Sakine 16 walked in, wearing a small smile on her face and holding a plate of... cookies...? in her hand.

At the sight of the cookies, Kaito felt his blood freeze.

No... She wouldn't...

"I thought you might be hungry, nii-chan," said Meiko (no. Not Meiko) cheerfully, putting the plate of cookies down on Kaito's bed, beside the blue-haired Vocaloid. "So I..."

_No._

_Nononono._

_This is wrong. This is-_

"Nii-chan? What's wrong?"

Kaito looked up, surprised. Meiko's expression mirrored his. Her eyes were too wide, and her cheeks were flushed slightly.

Kaito hadn't realized it, but he'd been speaking out loud.

_Bakaito._

"I-I'm sorry, Mei-chan," he said shakily, trying to force a smile. The smile made his face ache and looked out of place- so_ obviously_ fake- that he stopped it within a few seconds. "I'm not hungry. So..."

Meiko's face fell at that comment. She frowned.

"You're... not hungry...?"

Kaito winced. Her words were like a knife- she'd already stuck it into his ribs, and now her disappointment was twisting the knife around.

If Miku had made Kaito cookies (Rin **never **would have done), Kaito would have smiled and eaten them, even if they tasted horrible (which they invariably would have done. Miku's cooking was even worse than Kaito's. Despite Miku's homely appearance, she was surprisingly bad at household chores). Because Kaito wouldn't have wanted to hurt her feelings. In fact, the love Miku put into her awful food made it almost bearable, in some strange way.

But this was different.

This was different, because Meiko would _never _have made Kaito cookies. Not the non-threatening, delicious kind. If the old Meiko had ever done that, Kaito would've been highly suspicious she'd put poison or sewing needles in them.

But Kaito knew Sakine 16 would never have done a thing like that.

Harming Kaito would never have even crossed her mind.

She just wanted him to be happy.

She must have worked hard on them, too.

But just looking at them... was making Kaito feel ill.

And that was why Kaito couldn't accept her gift.

"Well, you could just save them and eat them later?" Sakine 16 suggested, trying to smile.

"Actually," said Kaito- though it pained him to say it- "I don't like cookies at all. So... I don't really want them. Sorry."

"Oh... U-um... T-that's too bad... U-um..." Sakine 16 flushed, embarrassed.

Kaito hoped he was seeing things, but he was sure those tears beading in her eyes were real. The knife in his stomach twisted again.

"Why don't you give them to Miku-chan and the others?" Kaito suggested, trying to keep his voice light. "It'd be a shame to waste them, and they look really nice, and-"

But the look on Meiko's face shut him up.

She'd wiped her tears away with her hand, but it had been in vain. Her eyes were rimmed with red, and her face was pale.

Kaito tried to repress a shudder.

He failed.

"But... I made them for _you_..."

"M-mei-chan-"

Kaito reached forwards to take her hand, but Meiko shrugged him away.

"Kaito-nii..." Meiko whispered. She stared at him. "Why... do you hate me...? Why...? When I care about you so much...?"

Kaito flinched.

He'd been selfish. He knew it.

_Bakaito._

At that moment, Kaito was sure his own pain... was nothing compared to Meiko's.

She'd worked hard to make those cookies for him, and he'd rejected them. He'd told outright lies ('I don't like cookies') and pushed her affections away. In essence, he'd rejected her.

And, if she had been anybody else, he wouldn't have done that.

It was only because she reminded him of Meiko (but she _wasn't_ Meiko) that he'd been so cruel.

He was punishing her bec_ause she wasn't Meiko._

_He was punishing her for existing._

And that... must have been heart-breaking...

Kaito didn't blame her for crying.

Suddenly, Kaito felt like he'd done something terrible. In that moment, Sakine 16 wasn't a derivative of Meiko, the woman he'd known and cared about so much. She was her own person. A young girl who'd been cruelly rebuffed by some one she cared about.

Kaito wanted to comfort her.

He wanted (more like, felt he should) pull her into a hug- as he did with Miku when she messed up her songs, and as he'd done with Rin on a couple of occasions when Len's cutting comments were crueler than usual- and tell her he was sorry.

But... Although he reached out towards her...

He couldn't touch her.

He couldn't.

"Meiko... Mei-chan..."

But Meiko was already getting to her feet. It was obvious, from the expression on her face, that he'd hurt her feelings. And now she- the last link he had with the old Meiko- was beginning to drift away from him.

The cookies sat, cooling, on the plate next to him.

Kaito looked down at them. That moment seemed to last a long time. Kaito stared at them so long his vision went fuzzy, and the cookies blurred into an indistinguishable mess- just like his conflicting feelings.

Then, slowly, he picked one up with trembling fingers.

Took a small, tentative bite.

It seemed to crumble to dust in his mouth.

He spat the cookie back out onto the plate, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, trying to dispel the taste. Because they'd tasted _good_. He could tell how much love had went into them. But that hurt all the more...

He wished they'd tasted horrible.

Then, with a small sob, he picked up the plate of the cookies, got to his feet, and tipped them all into the nearby trash can.

* * *

**a/n: **poor Mei-chan ;A;


	5. Role reversal

**Sakine Syndrome  
**Chapter Five

''_Role Reversal_"

* * *

"I-it's not fair..."

Meiko lay on her bed, curled up like a cat, the blankets pulled over her head. Her arms were round her knees, her head resting atop of them, her eyes closed. It was too hot and stuffy, and it was difficult to breathe. It felt like somebody had hold of her trachea and was bending it like a straw. However, she couldn't bring herself to move. She felt safe under her bed- like a small child hiding from a monster, she was trying to hide from her own feelings.

Feelings, like monsters, were only a construct of the mind. They couldn't hurt you unless you let them.

They couldn't hurt you...

But you could banish the imaginary monsters lurking under your bed if you hid under the covers and pretended to be asleep.

Feelings were different.

They followed you no matter where you went.

"W-why...?"

Even though Meiko tried to contain her thoughts- tried to keep them locked up inside her mind, so nobody else could hear how pathetic she was (and a voice at the back of her mind was telling her that she _shouldn't _be upset about this. Why should she care for Bakaito's opinion?)- she couldn't keep them all contained in her head. There were too many thoughts, feelings and mixed emotions floating around, noisily, inside her; they were screaming, forcing broken sobs and syllables out of her lips.

"Why...? I-idiot..."

At that point, she didn't even know who that insult was directed at.

Was it at Kaito?

Or at herself?

Maybe it was even at Teto, who'd given her that stupid idea in the first place.

She tried to scowl, but she didn't have enough energy to make it convincing. It twitched on her lips, fluttering like a leaf being blown this way and that in the wind- but, in the end, Meiko gave up. Nobody was going to see that scowl anyway. It had been for her own benefit- to make her feel better about the situation. To show she didn't need Kaito's affection and she didn't care about his opinion.

But that was a lie.

And it only made her feel worse.

Meiko's angry glare broke like shattered glass, into another new contortion of misery.

Kaito...

Why was he being so cruel to her?

She'd tried so hard to make him happy- to make him_ smile,_ like he did with Miku and Rin and Len. He always spoke to those three. They seemed separate from Meiko, in their own little group. Their own happy 'bubble'. Even though Miku, Rin and Len spoke to Meiko, it wasn't enough. They didn't look at her like they were really _seeing _her. No; it was more like they were searching, desperately, for some other girl buried underneath her. Some other person they'd rather talk to more.

_Well, I'm sorry, but I'm me._

_I've always been me._

_And... I-I can't change..._

At least Rin, Len and Miku tried to polite to Meiko, though.

They tried to be friendly- and, even if 'trying' wasn't good enough, Meiko had enough decency to appreciate the well-meaning sentiments behind it.

Kaito… never bothered.

Shards of pain always flickered across his face every time he saw her, and he would duck his head, or turn to talk to Miku, or- as was most common- he'd spin around and exit the room so suddenly he nearly tripped over the hem of his own coat.

Meiko knew, deep down, she didn't belong here; not even with her own family.

She was an outsider.

They hated her.

And Meiko didn't even know what she'd done wrong.

"U-um, Mei-chan? Mei-chan, can I come in?"

That soft question, and an equally soft knock on her bedroom door, brought Meiko to her senses.

She didn't know how she managed it- for Meiko had been certain she didn't have enough strength to move so much as her little finger, let alone her whole body- but, somehow, Meiko was able to untangle herself from her den of blankets and duvet, and make her way over to the door.

How Meiko wished she could have ignored them- but her body moved on auto-pilot, before she could stop herself.

Besides, Meiko knew how much it hurt when people ignored you.

Wiping her face with the back of her arm, trying to catch imaginary tears she'd never even shed, Meiko sniffed, tried to compose herself, and then pulled open the door.

Miku stood on the other side, nervously twiddling with one of her twin tails. When she saw Meiko, though, she dropped her hair in an instant, as though it was red hot.

"M-mei-chan!" Miku tried to force a smile. "Haha~ U-um... How are you...?"

Meiko could only stare at Miku blankly, her mind buzzing. Two sides of her argued over how she should respond. Should she answer cheerfully, or should say how she was really feeling? She had to bite back the urge to snap at Miku, or shout, or throw something at her, because wasn't it obvious she was clearly not okay- nothing was okay- and if Miku actually had to ask about her feelings she really was as brainlessly stupid as she looked in all her ridiculous music videos, dancing around to inane songs about Vegetable Juice without a care in the world!

Meiko winced at the intensity of the violence in her own head. She trembled.

Her life shouldn't have been a constant war between two distinct personalities. She felt like she was being tugged from side to side; split in two.

Why was it so difficult making such a simple decision?

It felt like her head had been cracked open, the delicate wiring and electrical components stuffed with sawdust. She could barely move- her movements were too slow, too jerky. Much, much too robotic.

In the end, Meiko said nothing- did nothing.

She just stood there.

"A-ah..." Miku bit her lower lip. She began to coil a piece of hair round her finger again, winding it tighter and tighter, until it seemed she would cut off the circulation in the tip of that finger. "I-I'm sorry... That was a stupid question."

All of a sudden, Meiko's murderous intent from before was dissolved, like a tablet in a glass of water. How could she have been angry with _Miku? _She'd never done anything wrong; she was just trying to comfort her.

"M-miku-nee-chan..."

"Yes." Miku nodded, determination set in her eyes. It looked like she'd just decided something; something important. "That's right. I am your big sister. For you… I guess I must be…"

"N-nee-chan...?"

"And I promise I'll look out for you, kay?"

Smiling- though the smile looked weak and flimsy, trembling slightly- Miku reached forwards, and pulled Meiko into a hug.

Meiko didn't resist. She doubted she had enough energy. So, instead, she slumped forwards, like a rag doll, or a puppet with cut strings.

A robot that had been uninstalled- the wires all pulled out of their veins and crackling with electricity, bleeding oil out onto the floor, as seconds ticked by in flashing green binary before their eyes.

Hadn't Miku sung a song like that? Something about... disappearing...

Meiko... didn't want to disappear...

It sounded painful. But, maybe, being hated by Kaito- despised by her family, when she had no idea what she'd done wrong or how to rectify it- was even worse. Being uninstalled didn't take very long; it was just like flipping off a switch. But, with Kaito, those feelings that welled up in her chest wouldn't leave, and Meiko couldn't turn them off. She wasn't sure she wanted to; because, though they hurt, they gave her some comfort... Some comfort that, maybe, in time, Kaito could grow to return her feelings.

Meiko had been so sure her family members disliked her- but now, as she trembled in Miku's arms, she couldn't believe that was true.

Miku _did _care.

She did.

"Y-you... don't want me to disappear... Do you?" Meiko asked Miku, her voice unnaturally quiet.

Miku looked down at Meiko in some surprise, her mouth falling open in a small 'o'. It looked like Meiko had hit some nerve; some sensitive part of Miku's hard wiring.

There was a silence; a silence far too long for Meiko's liking.

And then Miku laughed.

"O-of course I don't want that! T-that's... Hehe, well..." Miku shook her head, her pigtails bouncing. "I would never... Seriously... A-and neither would Rin or Len or Kaito, so... s-so don't even think things like that... Honestly. Don't…"

But Miku's voice faltered. Space opened up between her words, vast and endless, as Miku struggled for the right words- and, somehow, Meiko got the feeling that nothing she said would've been 'right' anyway, so it was a wasted effort.

Miku's reassurances were so unlike her usual, musical chatter, it grated the ears.

Meiko felt uneasy. Her previous assurances that Miku cared- she really, really did- were scattered to the dust.

Because Miku might have cared...

But not necessarily about her.

Not the 'her' that existed right now, at any rate. Maybe Miku was looking for that girl that she wanted Meiko to be, or expected her to be; but not the one before her eyes.

Meiko tried to push this thought from her mind.

She was being stupid.

"O-okay... I believe in you, Miku."

"You should~" Miku smiled, ruffling Meiko's hair. "I'm the amazing diva Hatsune Miku, and I always tell the truth!~ It'll be fine."

_'I always tell the truth'?_

_Maybe you can't tell how fake your words sound, then._

_Or maybe you're hoping __**I**__ can't._

_Do you think I'm stupid?_

Meiko felt irritation bubble up inside her; a cruel emotion that had no place in her cheery stage persona. She was programmed to be bright and cheerful and happyhappyhappy; that was how Sakine Meiko was. Should be. But, instead, she felt jaded. World weary. She knew Miku's promises were false- about as false as her hair.

And, even though it was Miku comforting her, Meiko couldn't help but feel...

Like she knew an awful lot more than Miku did.

Miku- her 'older sister'- seemed so innocent.

So hopelessly naïve.

Maybe Miku honestly did believe everything would be 'okay'.

But Meiko didn't.

Not for one second.

And, somehow, Meiko knew- without knowing how she knew, exactly, she knew- that the roles had been reversed here.

It wasn't Miku's job to comfort her.

It was- and always had been- _her _job to comfort Miku.

* * *

**a/n: **Next chapter has more KaitoMeiko interaction, I promise.  
Cross my heart :3

**~renahhchen oxoxo**


	6. Interstellar Flight

**Sakine Syndrome  
**Chapter Six

''_Interstellar Flight_"

* * *

It had been one full month since Sakine Meiko's release, and still- despite some minor complaints from the old Meiko's fans (not that there had been very many)- she was at the front of the public's minds. Her 'Honey' tour had long since finished, and the excitement surrounding that cute song (which, when coupled with Meiko's sweet vocals, an adorable dance routine featuring all the Vocaloids, and lots of cheery smiles, had instantly shot to number one on the Oricon charts) had finally died down into embers, where once they had been a roaring fire.

But Crypton- intelligent at marketing as they were- had taken great lengths to ensure Sakine 16's newfound fame and glory didn't go out.

Sakine 16 was still less popular than Miku, of course- and, as such, had a lower priority than she did.

Hatsune Miku was, after all, the teal-haired, twin-tailed, leek-wielding diva who'd captured the hearts of millions throughout the world. She was the very face of Crypton and Vocaloid itself. Miku's new songs and music videos were released at such a dizzying speed it was a wonder Miku had the chance to sleep, and she was almost always at the Crypton headquarters; talking to master; recording new songs; learning complicated dance steps; taking autographs, and performing in concerts.

How Miku managed to find the time in her busy, busy schedule to pull Rin and Len apart from their frequent arguments and bake what had to be the worst cookies Meiko had _ever_ tasted was a mystery.

The reason why Miku's home-made cookies tasted like the spawn of Yog-Sothoth was however, far less enigmatic.

Leeks did _not_ belong in cookies.

Period.

Hatsune Miku may have been a world-wide renown diva, with a fan base stretching into the millions and the perfect voice to boot, but she had no common sense whatsoever. She couldn't even use a can-opener properly. Meiko had found the clueless teal-haired girl stabbing at a can of tuna with a fork, as though trying to poke air holes in it, with such a look of intense concentration on her face it was strangely adorable. Some cruel part of Meiko- that part of her that didn't quite tally up with Crypton's pre-set personality of the 'kind, helpful, caring girl' she was supposed to be- had wanted to stand and laugh at Miku's fruitless efforts, maybe with a bucket of popcorn to hand- but she had, eventually, come to Miku's aid.

She would've felt _mean_ just letting the girl flounder.

Again, Meiko had been struck with a strange notion- as she prised the tin of tuna from Miku's fingers and calmly, patiently, told her how to open it properly without cutting off one of her fingers- that she wasn't the younger sister, 'Meiko-nee-chan'. Sure, she may have been created _after_ Miku, but she was far more sensible; and Meiko was sure it was her 'job' to act the role of the concerned parent.

Meiko didn't know how she knew this, but she did.

It made her feel uneasy.

So, despite Miku's air-headed nature and naïveté, Hatsune Miku was still Crypton's goldmine. She was still the most popular- and probably always would be.

But Sakine Meiko wasn't too far behind her. She was almost on equal footing with Rin and Len when it came to the polls- whilst poor Kaito trailed in the dust, his presence all but completely ignored by even the most devoted of Vocaloid fans.

_That should be me_, Meiko had thought, as she watched Kaito curled up on the sofa with a tub of ice-cream one day. Miku, Rin and Len had gone to the recording studio with Master, and Meiko had a photo shoot in a few hours, but Kaito... never seemed to leave the house...

He was unneeded- just like a toy thrown away by an uncaring owner.

Forgotten.

Gathering dust.

At times like that, Meiko almost hated Master.

_I used to be like that too, didn't I? _Meiko had mused, as she looked at Kaito's lonely, dejected face- and, for a few seconds, she'd felt a sudden rush of camaraderie between herself and the despondent, dead-eyed Kaito, who was such a contrast to the smiling man in the photographs Miku showed her it was almost heart breaking.

But, no... That hadn't been right.

Sakine Meiko had never been unpopular.

Sakine Meiko... was not like Kaito at all.

They were complete opposites.

And, on December 24th- just one day before Christmas- Sakine Meiko's newest music video, 'Interstellar Flight', had been released, to great applause by her fans.

The burning flames of Sakine Meiko's popularity, which had been waning since her debut with 'Honey', came back at full force, like a forest fire.

And, just like a fire, Meiko knew it was going to be destructive.

It would be the force that destroyed what little remained of her relationship with Kaito.

She was sure of it.

* * *

_"-We're in this moment. In the galaxy of our souls, snow falls~"_

The Vocaloid family were all sat in their living room, assembled around the TV on sofas, arm chairs and bean bags (in Rin's case). The final chords of Sakine Meiko's 'Interstellar Flight' filled the room, as the image of Meiko on the screen dimmed.

'Interstellar Flight' was a cover of an old song from some anime none of the Vocaloids had seen because, in Rin's words, 'we're not OTAKU! We're professional singing robots!~' However, the cute lyrics suited Meiko's voice perfectly, as did the dancing, the hair ribbons, the dresses, and the matching microphone with the orange bow tied round it. It was also a milestone for Meiko in her short-lived career, being the first song she'd sung, and performed, all by herself.

The collectors' edition DVD featuring the final music video, various outtakes, a 'making-of' section and a few other extras had been delivered to the Vocaloid household the very day the video was released worldwide, and Miku had insisted the whole family gather round to watch it.

Rin had been eager enough, humming along to the song as it began to play, and actually getting up to clap at the end, alongside Miku, which made Meiko go red. Len, too, had smiled, and said how amazing she sounded; it was hard to believe it was only her second song (to which Rin had poked Len in the forehead, going 'yeah!~ We all remember how awful YOUR early songs were before you got your upgrade, ri~ight, Len? ' And Len had flushed, and pulled Rin's hair ribbon so the elastic band snapped into her forehead, and then Miku had to jump in between them before an all-out brother-sister fistfight could break out).

But Kaito, on the other hand...

He'd sat through Meiko's video with no expression at all. He hadn't been smiling, or frowning. He just looked... blank.

And, somehow, that was far worse than actual anger or misery would have been.

Was that really what Kaito thought of her?

Just... _nothing_?

Miku, Rin and Len didn't seem to notice, though- or, if they had, they were trying their best to distract Meiko from it; Rin by being as rowdy as possible, Len by being more flippant than usual, and Miku with her gushing praise and happy smiles.

"Mei-chan, that was such an adorable video!" said Miku. She was so bright Meiko felt sure she'd be blinded if she looked directly at her. "Your hair is so nice and shiny in that video, too! I wish my hair looked like that!~"

"Don't be stupid, Miku-nee-chan, your hair always looks nice," said Rin, grabbing hold of a twin tail and pulling- though she did it far too gently for it to hurt.

"O-oh, ah... R-really? Y-you really think so, Rin?"

"You know it's true. Stop fishing for compliments, onee-chan!"

Miku's face went red.

"I-I'm not! I-I would never!" she denied furiously, shaking her head so her twin tails bounced. "I-I'm being serious!"

"Whatever!~" Rin cried, throwing her hands heavenwards. Then, she paused, turning to jab an index finger at Miku in an overly-dramatic manner, as though she were in court. "This isn't about _**you**_, onee-chan!"

"I-I never said it was..."

"This is about Mei-chan!" Rin continued, her eyes lighting up as she worked herself into a state of euphoria. "Her newest video! And, omigosh, yeah! It's so cute!_ Wayy_ to cute! It'll give me a heart attack! Kyun- h-hey! Who did that?"

Rin scowled, puffing her cheeks like a chipmunk, as she turned to glare at the person who'd _dared_ flick her in the forehead, mid-rant.

"Len!" Rin said, glaring sourly at her twin. "Why are you trying to cut off my GENIUS? Your life would be so much better if you listened to me more!"

"Don't over-exaggerate, sis," said Len wearily. "It's tiring."

"Ooh, get YOU, mister Mature! But it doesn't matter anyway because I, Kagamine Rin, am far, FAR cuter than ANYONE in the planet! Even Mei-chan! Even Mii-nee-chan! It's a revolution, and EVERYBODY will acknowledge how _**SUPERIOR **_I am!~ YEAH!~"

Len rolled his eyes. "Dream on, sis."

"I really _am_ cute though, right, Len-Len?" Rin wheedled, striking a pose. "Lenners? Lennity-Len-Len?"

Len let out a deep breath. It sounded like he'd been holding it for quite some time.

"Okay," Len said, beginning to count points off on his fingers, "First, don't call me stupid names you just thought of at the top of your head-"

"But I only do it cause I LOVE YOU!"

Len soldiered on, ignoring Rin's outburst. He treated her as though she were no more interesting than a pumpkin or a cauliflower; and, in that moment, Meiko admired Len's ability to stay cool and frosty. He was probably the only man (no, make that the living creature- maybe even _organism_) that had ever lived on plant Earth who had enough patience to deal with Kagamine Rin for more than three seconds.

"Second, you don't know how to 'love' anybody other than yourself, so don't try that on me! And don't do the puppy dog eyes either, it won't work," said Len, cold as a glacier.

"Humph!" Rin protested, shouting her woes to the heavens. "You're so MEAN, Lenners!"

"I know. And, thirdly. _Cute_? Scary, more like; I think you're deluding yourself a little there, sis."

"H-hey!" Rin cried, offended. The ends of her monstrous hair ribbon seemed to quirk upwards in irritation. "Len, you _shota_, I am TOTALLY adorable!~ Like, totally totally! Don't you think I'm cute NOW?~"

_Thwack!_

"N-no! R-rin... You just _hit _me, you freak! How is that going to _endear _me to you? Use your head!"

"Uuu~ You're a tough one to please, aren't you, Mr. Bi~tter and hot Sp~ice who'll sleep with ANYONE! Even his lovely, innocent little SISTER."

"That was one song, Rin! Just one! You know I'm nothing like that in real life; grow up!" Len snapped back, his face slowly growing redder and redder as Rin's childish torments hit home. Even though Len was incredibly mature for his age, it seemed not even he, with his icy mask and aloof nature, could remain above Rin's insults for too long.

In contrast to Len's rapidly decaying peace of mind, Rin began to giggle.

"Kehkehkeh... I know!~ I know! In real life you're all boring and stuffy and OLD-FASHIONED, and you'd probably DIE if a sexy girl so much as _looked_ at you! That's why you can't appreciate my omega-awesome ultra-violet rays of cute! Because you're stupid! But... I. Can. Make. You. See."

"...How?"

"I'll enlighten you with my FISTS!"

"R-rin! This isn't making me change my opinion of you- this is the opposite of cute! This is WAY uncute!"

"Hey, you little pests!" Miku said, trying to sound authoritative- or, at least, as authoritative as a Hatsune Miku_ could_ sound, what with her cute face and twin-tails. "Don't fight with each other! This is Mei-chan's day, you know? Be nice to her!"

Len froze, one hand at Rin's collar, the other at her hair ribbon. He turned slowly, guiltily, to look at Meiko.

"Aheh... S-sorry, Meiko," he apologised.

Meiko nodded slowly.

"It's... it's okay..."

But it wasn't- not really.

Rin and Len were teasing each other, as usual, and Miku was trying to act the role of the concerned big sister, but Meiko didn't feel like she belonged in this family gathering.

And what about Kaito?

Kaito still... looked completely _empty._

Hollow.

Like... a robot...

And the ridiculous excess of energy flowing from Rin and Len couldn't change that.

Miku looked between Meiko and Kaito slowly, biting her lip. It looked like she was thinking about something- and thinking hard.

Then, finally, with a sigh (it sounded like she'd just reached a conclusion- but it was a conclusion she'd never wanted to arrive at), Miku placed a hand on Kaito's shoulder.

"Hey. Kaito-nii-chan."

Kaito looked up. His eyes were empty.

Dead.

Even Rin and Len had fallen silent, their old scuffle soon forgotten- which made it feel all the more fake. An elaborate play put on for Meiko's sake, to make her believe everything was A-OK- but nothing was, and everything was all wrong. Kaito was wrong. Meiko... knew she was wrong.

And everybody knew this.

And they'd tried to hide it from her.

Because they didn't trust her?

Or maybe it was because they cared about her.

But they weren't going to hide anything anymore.

It looked like Miku had just decided that.

"Nii-chan," said Miku. Her voice was more confident than before- but her hands were shaking.

"Miku...?"

"I think," said Miku- but her words cracked in her throat. She drew breath, tried again- her grip on Kaito's shoulders tightening.

Her eyes narrowed.

"I think we should talk to Mei-chan. N-no." Miku shook her head. "Just… Meiko. To _Meiko."_

Miku's face shone with determination.

"We need to tell her the truth."

* * *

**a/n: **:D A transitional chapter, I guess.  
Then again, the last one kinda was too XD

My writing in this chapter feels kinda awkward and clunky. IDK, though :/ I'm getting thru this fic, and that makes me happy XD~

**~renahhchen xoxo**


	7. If it makes you smile

**Sakine Syndrome  
**Chapter Seven

''_If It Makes You Smile_"

* * *

"The truth...?" Meiko echoed.

She didn't like the sound of that word.

It felt... 'sinister', somehow.

"The truth about you..." said Miku, her voice dropping in volume- her eyes downcast and grey, like a stormy day.

Her eyes reminded Meiko of rainclouds.

She hoped there wouldn't be a downpour…

Miku- the ever-smiling, super-happy, twin-tailed diva- looked miserable. Without her usual cute smile and infectious, airy laughter she seemed like a completely different person; a stranger.

When did that cheerful girl become so unhappy?

Meiko felt like it was her fault.

In fact- that was a lie.

She_ knew_ it was her fault.

Meiko didn't know how, exactly, but everything seemed to be her fault- absolutely everything- so chalking one more person's unhappiness up to her actions (her existence) didn't seem so strange.

It wasn't strange at all.

Everything was her fault.

Always.

Meiko was the one who made Kaito miserable. He looked so happy in all those photographs Meiko had seen of him; smiling, laughing, eating ice-cream- sometimes singing with Miku, other times wrestling with Rin for the last orange to eat under the kotatsu, sometimes playing Guitar Hero with Len with that huge, stupid smile on his face even though he was losing...

He looked so happy in all those pictures.

But he isn't happy anymore.

And- since the moment his eyes met Meiko's- he never has been.

Maybe, Meiko thought, it's impossible for him to be happy around me.

Meiko drained all those smiles and all that laughter right out of him.

And she's doing the same to Miku.

Meiko... suddenly felt like she didn't know Miku at all.

But it wasn't just Miku...

There were more people in that 'happy' family- photographs flashed by through Meiko's head, playing out like scenes in an old movie that somehow seemed so familiar but Meiko got the feeling they shouldn't have been, not really- left for Meiko to destroy.

Rin and Len too, both of them...

They didn't look right.

They were sat on the floor, shooting each other nervous looks (since when did Rin look nervous?) and Rin was sighing, just a little, adjusting her hair ribbon and tugging at her shirt and fiddling with the looped belt on her shorts and looking around as if she really, really didn't want to be in the room.

It seemed to be taking Rin all her control and all her willpower- and Rin didn't have all that much 'control' or 'willpower' to begin with, judging by how frequently and violently she abused poor Len- to stay in one place.

"Y-you know what..." said Rin, giving an uneasy laugh; 'ahahaha...' It sounded fake- not at all like her usual happy happy happy light-hearted and cheerful laughter, and it was almost painful to listen to. "I-I think I'm thirsty... I-I'm gonna go and get something to drink, okay?"

Rin got to her feet, pushing herself up from the floor- still laughing that strange, off-key 'ahahaha' that made Meiko's head hurt.

Miku looked at Rin disapprovingly, her eyes narrowed, frowning.

"H-hey, you really should-"

"No."

Kaito's voice intercepted Miku's, as he placed a hand over her arm- his nails were painted bright blue (Rin must've tackled him to the floor and attacked him with various beauty products at some point, but those painted nails seemed so out of place now considering the gravity of the situation it was almost laughable, almost funny; to borrow Rin's new laugh, 'ahahaha') and it was weird Kaito's unfitting nail polish stuck in Meiko's mind above all else.

Maybe his blue fingernails were just easier to focus on than...

Than anything else...

Meiko felt her heartbeat speed up. She was sure- a paranoid imagining, but she couldn't shake it away, she was being silly, stupid, but she couldn't help it (aren't you meant to be the mature one? But that's not right- you're the youngest)- her heart was going to burst right out of her chest, crack her ribs, if it didn't slow down.

If all of this (everything) didn't…

Stop.

It was a strange, alien sensation; Meiko swore she could hear her blood running through her veins, feel her heart thumping painfully until it leapt almost into her mouth.

She'd never felt that scared before.

Not even when she woke up in that laboratory; the walls and floors and ceiling were white and the people were wearing white coats, too, and she hadn't known anybody but that had been okay (it had happened before).

Not even when she stood up on stage for the first time, microphone in one hand, singing a song she'd only just learnt to a sea of thousands- but that had been okay (it had happened before).

When she was on the stage Meiko moved like a mechanical doll- clockwork, finely oiled, because she was built to sing and dance and she couldn't mess up- and some unknown power had guided her voice, her arms, her legs, her smile.

She never stopped smiling when she was on the stage.

Because that was what she was meant to do.

It was her job.

And Meiko had been sure that she'd done it before.

All of it.

In some past life (did robots have past lives?) Meiko had sung on a stage- and though the crowds hadn't been quite so big back then, and she really hadn't been all that popular, she'd sung with all her heart.

But when Meiko was with her family- the people who were meant to care about her- it was different.

Miku had never looked so sad before; Rin so agitated; Len so nervous; Kaito so...

Well.

_No._

Kaito _had_ looked that apathetic before.

He seemed tired.

He always looked tired when he was around Meiko.

And that was strange, Meiko thought, because he was the one who did the least; the one who rarely seemed to read new lyrics, practise singing (unless he was partaking in karaoke with Miku or Rin or Len and that was never serious) or rehearse dances.

But he always looked exhausted.

Completely drained.

Meiko knew the scene in the living room…

Wasn't right.

Her family should have been happy.

Why weren't they happy?

Why weren't they smiling?

They used to be happy together, a long time ago, didn't they?

Did they...?

This...

Isn't right...

"K-kaito..." said Miku. She trembled- her body as delicate as a leaf in the wind, strewn about by a breeze- as she looked at Kaito with wide eyes.

Kaito still had hold of Miku's hand, his blue nail polish shimmering under the lights of the living room.

Meiko focused on his nails.

It was far easier than looking at Kaito's face.

At least Rin was the culprit behind those 'incredibly fashionable' (as Rin probably would've called them, had she been in a more cheerful frame of mind) fingernails; but Meiko knew, without knowing how she knew, that she was the reason his eyes were so empty, his mouth a thin line and his face completely miserable.

"Rin and Len can go," Kaito said, turning to give both the twins a small, uneasy smile. "They shouldn't have to hear this."

"B-but they're still part of our family!" argued Miku. "T-they should still-"

"N-no, I know... Don't make me feel guilty, Miku-nee-chan," said Rin. Her voice was devoid of its usual energy; it seemed dead. Lifeless. Even her ribbon drooped slightly, like a withered plant that hadn't seen the sunlight in years. "B-but I can't... I-I don't..."

It looked like she was about to cry.

But... Kagamine Rin didn't cry.

She didn't.

Except- she had one time, hadn't she?

Rin had been teasing Len, as per usual, but then she went too far (which was fairly commonplace considering Kagamine Rin knew no boundaries) and, in turn, _Len _went too far (which was a lot more rare, Len being so composed and calm and collected) and Len shouted at her. He'd screamed at Rin so horribly, his face twisting up and his eyes blazing with anger- cutting into all her character flaws and laying them bare for Rin to see, right before her eyes ("you're selfish and you're spoilt and you always boss me around, you always make fun of me, and you never learn your words in our duets or memorise your dance steps and it's always _**me **_who helps you out when you're being scolded because you were too lazy to do anything even though I kept asking and asking you to and you never thank me when I do it; I'm always there for you, always forgiving you no matter what you do or what stupid mess you get me into and you don't even care! You never even thank me! Sometimes, Rin, I think I hate you more than anyone I've ever met,") and he'd pushed her.

Len had pushed her too hard.

Rin had screamed, and then she'd fallen backwards- her hip catching against the coffee table- and it had left red welts, raised skin and ugly purplish-black bruising that hadn't healed for days even though Rin was a robot and her injuries far more quickly than most people (perfect singing robots with pretty voices and prettier models couldn't get marred or defaced or deformed; Crypton would be so angry).

Rin had cried when Len had shouted at her. The bruise on her hip had been nothing compared to how deeply Len cut into her feelings.

She'd really cried, until her face went red and tears ran down her cheeks.

Rin… didn't look pretty when she cried.

Her face contorted and she looked almost ugly.

And Meiko had comforted her...

But...

Meiko didn't exist then.

Did she?

She didn't…

But, for whatever reason- when Meiko looked at Rin's red-rimmed eyes, trembling body and drooping headband- she felt like it was her job to comfort her.

She was the big sister.

The mother.

The Vocaloid family needed their mother, or they'd fall apart...

Why did everybody look so unhappy?

Weren't they meant to be watching her video? It was Meiko's newest song- her second single- and Crypton said it was going to make all her fans love her.

But it certainly wasn't enough to make her family love her.

"I-I'm sorry," said Rin, bowing her head- hiding her face behind her bangs that she hadn't clipped back that day. "I-I just..."

And then Rin turned, her lower lip trembling (Rin didn't cry- the last time she'd cried was when Len pushed her into the table, cut her hip, gave her a horrible bruise but he apologised in the end; but Meiko didn't think she could solve this problem with an apology this time because she simply didn't know who should apologise this time or for what) and ran out of the room.

"R-rin!" Len called after her, worry blooming across his face- and he reached out, stretched a hand to grasp the looped belt of his sister's shorts-

But it was too late.

Meiko was sure Len didn't really try to stop her, anyway.

If he really wanted to he could have.

But he didn't.

It was probably because Len knew Rin didn't want her family to see her cry.

"R-rin…"

"You should go and comfort her," said Kaito. His voice was mature, understanding and yet at the same time it was strange and completely unfitting; since when was Kaito so responsible?

Since when did that idiot... sound so composed?

Len nodded and got to his feet, following Rin, calling after her.

He slammed the door behind him.

Meiko turned to look at her family slowly, her eyes wide.

The truth...

Her family...

Her family were in pieces.

All because of her.

They were meant to be watching her new video.

It was meant to be a happy time.

The people at Crypton- the ones who composed her music, wrote her lyrics, edited her vocals to pitch-perfection, designed her costumes, did her hair and took her promotional photographs- had said they'd make her popular.

A star.

They said her new song would make people happy.

But Meiko... didn't care about those 'people'.

It meant nothing...

When her family was so miserable.

* * *

**a/n**: Short short chapter. All these chapters are short.  
And thus, not a lot gets done.  
Ahh well ._.

Stick around for the next time?  
Stuff will actually happen, I promise :D

('stuff' was meant to happen this chapter but there was more emotional fallout and fff basically I suck okay this fic isn't even that good and aaa)

**~renahhchen xoxo**


	8. The tide comes in

**Sakine Syndrome****  
**Chapter Eight

''_The Tide Comes In_"

* * *

"W-what do you mean by 'the truth'?" Meiko asked, voice stuttering- half afraid of the answer.

She didn't want to know.

Was there something more to her than it appeared? Something the scientists at Crypton hadn't told her? Meiko knew it was strange to be a robot at all- especially when everybody else she passed in the street during her day to day life was made of flesh and bone, not copper wiring and electricity- but she had feelings like humans did, and a heart that pumped blood. She ate food and breathed air and- when she sat by herself, wondering why she felt so ostracized from the family she loved with all her heart- she felt lonely.

Achingly lonely.

The wiring and components and electrical circuitry were different, but the feelings were all the same.

They were all still _there._

Sakine Meiko wasn't so different from a human being at all.

But that couldn't have been the 'secret' Miku was talking about. Meiko already knew she was a robot. She'd accepted that (because it had always like that, hadn't it...?)

What was the secret about...?

There had to be some other reason- some deeper reason- why her family disliked her. Why Rin's cheerful smile always faltered, just a little, when her blue eyes landed on Meiko's- or why Miku pursed her lips slightly when Meiko called her 'onee-chan'- or why Len looked at his feet, as though on autopilot, whenever Meiko entered the room.

Or why Kaito treated her so coldly, despite the fact he looked so happy (so cheerful) in all those photographs Meiko had seen of him.

There _had _to be a reason.

And it was more (far,_** far**_ more) complicated than simply 'being a robot'.

...But Meiko wasn't sure if she wanted to hear this reason or not.

She was...

Well.

She wasn't 'happy' living her life in confusion, stumbling through one hit song to the next , guided by Crypton as a mother would take the arm of a small child in a busy street. Meiko had no say in what songs she performed or what dances she learnt, or even what clothes she wore- no chance to deny or refuse or accept whatsoever.

It was all decided for her.

And wasn't fair, was it?

Why did Meiko have so little control over her life? It was like a child's spinning top, or a wind-up toy; you pushed it once, barely brushing your fingertips against it- and then could only sit and watch as it spun away from you. Uncontrollable.

Meiko's life was _hers_- nobody else's.

But it didn't feel like that.

Just because her Master 'created' her, it didn't mean she had to follow his every wish and whim. She may have been a robot, but she could think and feel- and she wasn't so different from a human being (she was exactly the same in all respects that mattered).

She... didn't have to follow Master.

She didn't.

But whenever Meiko thought of mutinous things like that she felt so abashed, so cruel, so selfish, that she shook her head and tried to stifle her over-powering noise of her errant emotions by plugging herself into her iPod.

Drowning her real feelings out with music.

(Running away...?)

She loved Master.

She respected him.

And she would obey him.

It was her job to obey.

But, if Meiko was unhappy at work- singing and dancing and waving to her fans, doing the things she was programmed to do (the things she was meant to do, but it always felt like there was something missing)- then she was even more unhappy at home.

With her 'family'.

But... did Meiko want to know the_ reason_ for her grief...?

Somehow, Meiko got the feeling when realized the 'truth'- whatever 'truth' Miku was trying to spit out of her mouth (but the twin-tailed girl kept frowning, stopping, stalling, as she though she wasn't sure what to say, and she was coiling strands of turquoise hair about her index finger over and over again until her skin went white)- she wouldn't... feel like herself anymore.

Maybe it was better to stay naïve.

Maybe it was better not to know.

It would have... been better... wouldn't it?

But the cold, hard look in Kaito's eyes convinced her otherwise.

No.

She would _have _to learn the truth- even if it killed her.

What if it did...?

_Don't be silly, _a voice in the back of her head said, tone scathing. _That won't happen. Stop being so melodramatic._

But Meiko wasn't too sure she believed that voice.

It was probably lying to her, too.

"M-mei-chan..." Miku finally managed to spit out- though by the time the words had escaped her lips the circulation had all but been cut off from the tip of her finger (it looked painful. Then again, Miku seemed too engrossed in finding the right words, trying to make Meiko understand- understand what?- that she didn't even notice.

That was so like Miku, thought Meiko with a sigh. Always getting enraptured in something- be it singing, cooking, or trying to comfort somebody else- and she'd forget her own safety completely.

How selfless.

How stupid.

She was such a child.

But was it really Meiko's place- the newest, youngest Vocaloid- to say that...?)

"Mei-chan..." Miku tried again. Her voice sounded heavy, as though it were attached to a lead weight; not light or airy in the slightest, as it should have been.

Miku didn't sound right like that.

She didn't sound right at all.

And Meiko knew it was her job to make sure she kept smiling...

She'd failed as a big sister.

(But that had never been her job anyway... had it?)

"Meiko... How would you feel if I told you... you're not the person you think you are?" Miku finally managed to say. Throughout the duration of her broken, fragmented speech Miku didn't look Meiko in the eye; instead, she stared down at her knees, her fingers still coiling strands of hair round and round and round her finger.

It looked painful.

But Miku's words stung even more.

"What do you mean?" Meiko asked hesitantly. "I've... I've always been me."

She was hardly anybody else. That didn't make any sense-

_'She'd failed as a big sister.'_

-so why did she keep getting that feeling (that strange, hardly-there feeling- like a brief memory, or a memory of a dream- that flashed across her mind's eye and vanished without a trace) that she was doing something wrong; that she had another role to fulfill?

Why did she feel so incomplete?

Almost like... a stranger wearing somebody else's skin?

Frowning, eyes overcast, Meiko took a piece of her own flesh between two fingertips (the nails painted red) and began to tug, to see if it would hurt. Almost as though she was trying to wake herself up from a dream.

...It hurt.

It_ still _hurt.

It was definitely her own skin she was wearing.

Then why...?

"That's silly," Meiko said, after a short pause, the aftershock of pain (and it was only light, it hadn't really hurt at all) still coursing through her skin. "I've always been me. Right?"

But she knew what the answer was going to be before Miku even said it. Therefore- reasonably- it shouldn't have hurt as much when those words actually did pass Miku's lips; but reason had no place when it came to emotion, and Meiko felt the full impact of Miku's words crash into her, like waves on a beach- washing everything away and bringing down the flimsy sandcastles children worked so hard to build.

"You weren't... always Sakine Meiko... O-or even Mei-chan... At all..."

Miku spoke softly.

Kindly.

But her voice clawed at Meiko's mind; gathering Meiko's thoughts, emotions, her own beliefs about herself and her existence that Crypton had taught her (a lie? All lies?) and slicing them to ribbons.

Scattering them to the wind.

Why would Miku lie?

...There was no reason.

No reason for Meiko to doubt her.

She was _family_.

Why would Crypton lie?

Because she was a mindless robot, a singer, a dancer- a Vocaloid- and to those uncaring scientists in white coats she- Sakine Meiko, Sakine 16- existed for the sole purpose of making money. Her feelings were unimportant.

She was... unimportant?

A memory.

_"Meiko, do you know why I summoned you here?"_

_"What? You think I'm psychic or something?" Meiko- but it wasn't_ her,_ it was a different woman, with shorter hair and narrower eyes and a cruel expression on her face- said, arms folded._

_Meiko (no, not Meiko... But they looked so alike it could have been her older sister)__ was sat on a white chair, made of some shining material that reflected her seated body. It was cold- not very comfortable- but nothing about the Crypton Headquarters was 'comfortable'- and all of it was white. Or chrome steel. Everything was for show._

_Meiko sat in that uncomfortable chair that sent pinpricks of ice coursing through her uncovered thighs (her red skirt was much, _much_ too short) and tried not to squirm. She was the oldest Crypton Vocaloid- it was her job to remain calm and composed- but even she, when sat before the watchful gaze of her Master, felt exposed; and that had nothing to do with her revealing outfit._

_It was almost as if he could see right through her._

_Master laughed softly at Meiko's comment, the noise echoing throughout the room. It was... disconcerting. The echo- coupled with the sheer cold of the uncomfortable seat- made Meiko feel as though she were sat at the bottom of a well._

_"You're a very impudent woman, aren't you, Meiko?" asked Meiko, his voice still laced with humor._

_He was smiling._

_But Meiko didn't like that tone._

_"We can change that," Master muttered- speaking __more to his fingers, treaded together and placed before his lips, elbows on his desk, than the woman sat before him._

_Meiko didn't like that tone of that._

_"We can change that..."_

_Change what?_

_Change... me...?_

_Change..._

"M-mei-chan?"

Meiko's eyes widened as she felt Miku's fingers press against her arm.

The lightest touch was electric.

And, with that voice- that memory- those fingertips on her flesh- the tide came in...

And began to wash Sakine Meiko away.

* * *

**a/n: **I totally have the rest of this fic all planned out, derp.  
So it should only take 1-2 weeks to finish it all.  
Aren't you excite?  
I'm excite :D  
Yeah action and more stuff coming up next chapter, it should've been in _this _chapter (actually chapter before it lololol) but I had other development I needed to do too YAY.  
:D

**~renahhchen xoxo**


	9. The only thing that still remains

**Sakine Syndrome****  
**Chapter Nine

_''The Only Thing That Still Remains_"

* * *

Meiko sat there, stunned into silence, as Miku's voice- emotionless, without any inflections. She sounded like a robot reading information from a flashing screen. The usual passion in her voice was gone- continued.

And Miku's blank words crashed over Meiko like ocean waves.

She wasn't the _real _Meiko.

There had been another Meiko before her.

This Meiko hadn't addressed Miku as 'onee-chan'- instead, she'd been the strong, bossy big-sister type.

"Without Meiko our family would have fallen apart," said Miku- and though her voice was still dead, sensationless, Meiko could see the slightest trace of a smile (no, not even that; the ghost of a smile- a passing memory) tug at Miku's lips. "Whenever Rin and Len fought, she always punished them and made them apologise."

_"Rin? What's wrong?"_

_Rin was crying. Her eyes were filled with moisture- an unusual sight for the hard-headed girl, who'd claimed so many times before she was __wayyy__ too strong to shed tears over __anything__, least of all her stupid brother- and her shoulders were shaking. Even her hair ribbon seemed to droop._

_Rin gave a small squeak, like a startled mouse, as her blue eyes met Meiko's._

_Hastily, trying to force a grin, a look of nonchalance- but it was clumsy, quite unlike her usual sunflower smiles, and soon wilted- Rin looked up at Meiko. She tried to dry her eyes with the back of her hand; but Meiko had already seen._

_"Nothing's wrong, Mei-chan!"_

_A lie._

_It was a lie._

_Meiko's eyes narrowed._

_And then Rin's smile collapsed altogether, like a flimsy stack of cards. Her face twisted through several different emotions- pain, embarrassment, guilt, grief, and a couple more Meiko couldn't even _begin_ to name or place- before, finally, Rin burst into tears._

_"I-it's Len! H-he... He said I was selfish..."_

_"He always says that," Meiko said softly, consolingly, pulling Rin into a hug. "That doesn't mean he means it."_

_Rin gave a small hiccup. Her shoulders tensed, as though she was about to draw away- but, inevitably, Rin fell against Meiko; limp as a ragdoll._

_When Rin closed her eyes, her lashes were spiky from tears._

_"T-that's not it... H-he said... He said he hated me..."_

_"You know he doesn't."_

_"B-but he looked so angry..."_

_"He'll get over it." Meiko smiled. "I'm sure he has a perfectly good reason to be irritated- you can be _**very** _annoying when you put your mind to it- but he'll come round."_

_"W-what if he doesn't...? W-what if he meant what he said…?"_

_Meiko's voice dropped in volume._

_"Then I'll let Len know just how _unforgivable_ it is to make a girl cry."_

That memory- bright and colorful, like the leaves that littered the sidewalk during fall- rushed through Meiko's mind. The memory was so clear she felt she was actually there; crouched on the floor, her arms wrapped around Rin- Rin clinging back to her desperately (even though she'd said afterwards- trying to save face- 'i-it wasn't like that, Mei-chan! I-I was just _fine_!')

That memory was not unfamiliar to Meiko.

She'd experienced it before.

It was the same exact story.

Len had pushed Rin into the table.

He'd bruised her leg.

And he'd said some... terrible things.

Things no brother should have said to their sister; not under any circumstances.

How did Meiko know that…?

She shouldn't have known, because that event had happened before she became a member of the Vocaloid family.

At least...

Before _Sakine Meiko _became a member of the Vocaloid family.

_Meiko tapped her fingers against her arm, scowling- but she wasn't really irritated, no._

_She was trying to hide her fear._

_"We can change that..."_

_What did Master mean?_

_She knew her CD sales weren't the greatest (compared to Miku's they were barely non-existent. You could hardly compare them __**at all**__; it was like trying to draw similarities between a single stone and the side of an entire cliff face), and Meiko also knew she didn't have even half the fan base Miku had, but she was still a Vocaloid. Part of the franchise. Even the most die-hard of Hatsune Miku fans knew who Meiko was; or, at least, was aware she existed._

_She completed the Vocaloid 'family'._

_But that wasn't all…_

_Meiko might have been a robot, but she was still a living creature._

_An artificial human._

_But still a __**human.**_

_And yet Master had said it, so casually- as though her life meant nothing to him._

_As though she meant nothing at all._

_"We can change that."_

_All of 'that'._

_All of __**her.**_

"N-no..."

Meiko's mouth gasped out the words before her mind had fully grasped the situation. Her brain was still floundering- she could feel the electricity in her head sparking- as vague recollections that suddenly didn't seem so vague anymore twisted together, making a pattern.

Making a picture.

That... was the 'Meiko'... that she had been.

The 'Meiko' Miku, Rin, Len and Kaito knew.

And the 'Meiko' her family had been trying so desperately hard to reach.

They... didn't want... her...

They didn't want _Sakine Meiko._

She wasn't good enough.

_"We can change that."_

She was never good enough.

Memories- more and more memories, memories upon memories upon memories building up like snowfall, thick and fast- ran through Meiko's mind; disjointed, in bright splotches of color, like paint splattering onto a white sheet.

_"Rin, I am __**not**__ buying you a watermelon just so you can smash it! Those things are __**expensive**__!"_

_"Awww!~ But Mei-chan!"_

_"__No__ buts."_

_"B-but it's my __dream__ to smash a watermelon on the beach! It's a staple of a Japanese girl's summer! Would you take that dream away from me so callously, O Scary One?"_

_"I'll take your __head__ away from you 'so callously' if you don't shut up."_

A blank canvas.

_"Ah, Miku. Ju~ust the girl I wanted to talk to."_

_"E-eh? W-what's wrong, Mei-chan?"_

_"Nothing is wrong with __**me**__, per say. Nothing at all. It's just... The kitchen. Something is __**dreadfully **__wrong with it."_

_"E-eep!"_

_"What was that?"_

_"U-um, I mean... I-I don't know anything about it! Hehehe!~"_

_"Miku."_

_"I-it certainly wasn't me who made those leek cookies, it really wasn't!"_

_"__**Miku.**__"_

_"A-ah, I think I hear Rin calling me! I have to go!"_

_"Rin went to the store with Len."_

_"I-I heard her calling me from the store, then! Isn't that funny? Hahahahahaha... ha... ha... U-um... D-don't hurt me, Mei-chan, I'm begging you!"_

But it wasn't blank anymore.

_"M-mei-chan, maybe you shouldn't drink so much..."_

_"I __**neeeed**__ to drink, lookin' after a family like __**you**__. E-every... e-every five seconds someone's shouting about somethin or... o-or exploding the kitchen... or stealing my make-up... o-or strangling s-somebody with their hair... H-hic..."_

_"I sympathise, Mei-chan, but-"_

_"Fuck off, Len!"_

_"E-eep..."_

The picture was still being formed.

_"Kaito."_

_"W-what?"_

_"Put the ice-cream back."_

_"B-but-"_

_"Put it __**back. **__God- you're just as bad as the kids! I am __not__ blowing the whole housekeeping allowance on _**Häagen**-**Dazs**_- and unless you want me to drop kick you into the frozen peas, you WILL take all that shit OUT of the trolley and put it BACK."_

_"B-but Mei-cha-"_

_"NOW."_

_"Y-yes, your Highness..."_

T-the page was too saturated with paint- with thick, heavy memories, weighting down upon Meiko like lead rain- and the white paper was too flimsy (much too flimsy), and it couldn't support it all.

The page couldn't support all that paint.

Meiko couldn't…

_"We can change that."_

Contain all of those memories.

_"W-why are you doing this? What about my family? What will they say?"_

_"Silly, sentimental Mei-chan~" said Master, his voice teasing- and he was smiling._

_That was the worst thing._

_He was _smiling.

_"Your family don't matter. They're just robots. They exist to make a profit," Master explained. He spoke very cordially- but also very slowly, using simple language, as though he were addressing a small child._

_A stupid creature that couldn't understand him._

_A robot._

_Because a robot wasn't a human._

'_Nearly human' didn't matter- because 'nearly' wasn't good enough._

_"And you, too, my dear Mei-chan, exist to make a profit. But you're behind on your quota. Your 'family' don't matter- no, no, you have it all confused. I think __**that's **__why your CD sales have been falling. It's your __**fans**__ that matter, Mei-chan. You don't 'have' a family."_

_B-but he was wrong..._

_Meiko's eyes narrowed._

_Her fingers clenched into fists._

_She couldn't sit there, listening to that 'man'- if he could even be called that. She couldn't._

_But if she moved- if she disobeyed him- what would happen to Miku? To Rin? To Len?_

_Well... Miku, Rin and Len were reasonably popular; if Meiko decided to be disagreeable they probably wouldn't suffer too much._

_But Kaito was different._

_Kaito was an Act One Vocaloid like Meiko, and his CD sales were almost as low as hers._

_If Meiko disobeyed Master, what would happen to Kaito...?_

_What would the consequences be?_

_What would happen to the people she cared about?_

_Master had already answered her question._

_'We can change them.'_

_All of them._

_And Meiko knew, to protect them..._

_She had to sacrifice herself._

_It was the only way._

_The only-_

"N-no!"

Meiko's whole body convulsed, racked with shivers as though she had hypothermia, as her trembling fingers buried themselves into her neatly-styled hair- dragging the nails against her scalp.

Pain.

Pain ensured she was still alive.

Still in her own skin.

Who was she?

…Meiko?

Which Meiko?

She inhaled slowly- breathe in, breathe out- but it felt like one of her lungs had been pierced, and the oxygen she inhaled stung the back of her throat, tearing against flesh just as her manicured nails drew blood from her scalp.

S-she wasn't that Meiko...

T-that Meiko didn't exist!

The old Meiko didn't _**deserve**_ to exist!

The old Meiko unit had been remodelled- upgraded, enhanced_, improved_- because she was defunct.

A failure.

But Sakine Meiko wasn't a failure!

She was much, much better.

She was _superior._

And she wasn't going to disappear like the old Meiko did.

She refused to let that happen.

She _**refused**_ to be like the old Meiko.

"M-meiko-" Miku said, voice frantic- that emotionless quality had all-but gone now; instead, it was replaced with raw panic- as Miku's fingers enclosed round Meiko's arm; but Meiko pushed her away.

Miku looked... so pitying...

Meiko hated that expression.

She was Sakine Meiko, an upgrade; she didn't need _pity_.

"D-don't call me that!" Meiko spat at Miku, her eyes narrowed. "Don't!"

"M-mei-chan...?"

"Y-you're calling me that name, but you're not looking at the real **me**! You're seeing somebody different! O-or, more like… You WANT me to be somebody different!" Meiko said- more like _shouted _(she shouldn't have shouted- she'd damage her vocal chords and then she'd upset Master, but she couldn't control herself), until it felt like her throat would tear and blood would pour from her parted lips. "You're thinking of that other one! T-that _failure_! But I'm not her!"

"You _are!" _Miku insisted. Tears were beading in her eyes (_"I-I wasn't crying, okay, Mei-chan? I-I had something in my eye..." said Rin, face flushing, looking at the floor) _and Meiko felt a sudden stab of guilt pierce through her heart.

Miku... shouldn't have been crying.

Meiko was the big sister.

It was her job to make sure everybody was happy.

That was why she'd done it.

That was why she let Master take her to that laboratory and pull her pieces-

Spare parts.

They rewired her.

That Meiko didn't exist anymore.

_She's dead now, she's dead, she's not you and you're not her and it DOESN'T mastter so stop it shut up shut up shut up-_

"You are Mei-chan, you_** are**_! You're our big sister!" Miku said, voice thick with tears- and Meiko had always thought Miku would cry in a dainty manner, like a lady, with one or two perfect tears sliding down her pale face. But that wasn't the case here. Hatsune Miku, the Vocaloid diva with the distinctive hairstyle, was bawling, _really_ bawling- tears fell down her face in a cascade, and her eyes were rimmed red, and she didn't look remotely attractive anymore.

Good.

Maybe then Sakine Meiko would get more fans.

But Meiko didn't mean that she didn't really, and she felt guilt and satisfaction swirl inside her mind until she wasn't even sure what she thought anymore and it hurt, it hurt; everything _hurt._

"Mei-chan, you're still her!" said Miku. "S-she's still somewhere inside you! Y-you have to-"

"No! I don't HAVE to do anything! You're wrong- I'm **not **her! I-I'm not a failure!" Meiko shouted back, her voice clouded with fear (s-she wasn't going to die, the other Meiko did but she wouldn't, not her) and anger (she was much better than the older Meiko- much, _much_ better...)

"Meiko wasn't a failure."

It was Kaito who spoke this time.

His voice was soft- deadly serious- and his eyes were hard.

Cold.

Unfeeling.

Meiko turned to look at Kaito, her lower lip trembling, her eyes watering- and the glare he gave her was enough to make her whole body freeze.

He looked like he really hated her.

But he was wrong.

He was _wrong._

"I-I'm not like her!" Meiko continued to protest- and if her voice had been 'bordering' on hysterical before it was well past that now; it had fallen well and truly into a chasm of chaos where her vocals rose and fell uncontrollably and her words were fragmented with threatening tears and she didn't sound at all pretty now, she didn't sound like a Vocaloid; she sounded like a wreck (just like the old Meiko- just like her- _but I'm not, I-I'm…_) "I-I'm not! I'm **me! **The old Meiko was upgraded- t-thrown away- because she was a waste of space! S-she was unpopular... a-and she lost Crypton money... I-it was her fault, not mine! It was her fault for being a failure- it was her fault for being useless- she deserved to die, she _deserved _to-"

But Meiko's voice broke off.

Her words died in her throat.

And a horrible, stinging pain began to well up in her cheek.

...K-kaito...

Kaito had _hit _her.

Meiko's breath caught in her mouth- it came out as a slow, pained gasp, as though she were struggling on the border between life and death; desperately trying to cling onto her feeble existence as it slowly slipped away.

She sounded like a dying person.

Her whole body shuddered.

Her shoulders shook.

And then she began to cry.

Weak, broken sobs forced themselves past her lips- the sounds shattered, like broken glass- and she trembled helplessly, like a baby bird in the cold- a-and when Rin had been crying, all those months ago, Meiko had put her arms round her...

Meiko had comforted her...

_"I'm sure Len didn't mean it."_

But there was nobody left to comfort Meiko.

There was nobody left to tell her Kaito hadn't meant it.

Because he _had._

Kaito stared down at his own hand, shocked into silence, as though he himself couldn't believe what he had done- and his lips parted, eyes widened, and he reached for Meiko...

But Meiko shrank back.

It looked like... he was going to apologise...

But then, a few seconds later, Kaito's eyes hardened again.

When he next spoke, his voice was icy cold.

"Meiko did _not _deserve what happened to her. She was my best friend. I loved her. But..."

Kaito smirked.

A smile.

_"We can change that."_

_"M-master..."_

They'd both smiled-

Before they broke Meiko's heart.

Meiko's brown eyes stared into Kaito's face, searching for some warmth, some comfort, some compassion; searching for _any_ sign of that good-natured, smiling man (more like 'boy'- he was such an idiot he could hardly be called an adult) who'd always tried to sneak extra tubs of ice-cream into their shopping trolley was Meiko's back was turned.

But he wasn't there.

That Kaito... had disappeared.

Because Sakine Meiko had destroyed him.

Maybe he'd died when the other Meiko had.

Crypton hadn't reprogrammed one Vocaloid- but two.

It was too late…

"You killed her. You _killed_ Meiko, a-and yet you... you look so much like her..."

Kaito shuddered.

"H-how can I talk to you when you have the same face…?"

Maybe there had been love once.

But there wasn't anymore.

Because that, too- like Meiko and Kaito- had withered away.

* * *

**a/n: **Oooh intense chapter XD  
This was fun to write :D  
Next chapter should have interesting stuff too, so please stay tuned ^_^;  
This fic is nearly over.  
Yayyy XD~

**~renahhchen xoxo**


	10. Sending out a rescue party

**Sakine Syndrome****  
**Chapter Ten

_''Sending out a rescue party_"

* * *

The city seemed bigger than normal.

Had it _always_ been that big...?

Maybe that was a stupid question.

Of course it had been.

However, during those times (those _happy_ times) when Kasane Teto had dragged Meiko around behind her like a ragdoll, Tokyo hadn't seemed that big at all. Meiko had been with her friend (her _real _friend, because Teto had never looked at her with accusing or pitying eyes) and everything had been fine.

But now Teto wasn't with her.

Meiko was by herself, and she was cold, and she didn't know what to do or where to go.

And, above all…

She was scared.

Terrified, even.

Meiko didn't know a lot of things, but she knew about fear.

She knew far, far too much about fear.

That horrible, suffocating, terrifying feeling rose up in her throat at every step; choked her like bile, until it hurt to draw in air.

Meiko had no idea where she was- where she was going- but she kept on running; running and running and running, until it felt like her heart was going to burst out of her chest.

No matter how much she ran, though, it wasn't enough.

She couldn't put enough space between her and _that house_ (_**that man**_); her own feet would never carry her far enough.

Meiko threaded through a maze of buildings like a rat in a laboratory. The tall skyscrapers towered over her like soldiers standing sentinel; they looked down at her small, helpless form with watchful window-eyes glaring at her from grey concrete.

(But that wasn't too different from being at the Crypton building; from sitting in that white room made of chrome with twisted sculptures and silver surfaces, whilst people with clipboards looked at her and made notes. The eyes of the skyscrapers were the same- exactly the same- as the eyes of those scientists.

Blank.

Uncaring.

And utterly soulless.

At least the windows in the skyscrapers couldn't _pretend _to care; at least they couldn't lie to her.

It was a small comfort- but a comfort all the same.)

It was still cold- far, _far_ too cold (but then again, it was December. What did she expect?)- and even though Meiko was running (running like a crazy person. Was she crazy? Did it matter?) it didn't make any difference.

Meiko could run for a lifetime- several (she was a robot; her lifespan was markedly different from a human's)- but it would have changed nothing.

It would fix nothing.

Meiko knew this.

And yet she continued to run; pushing past any and all people who came between her and her destination... Wherever that was. Girls in groups talking, families, even kissing couples- Meiko ran past them all with unseeing eyes.

At some point Meiko had thought about going to the Crypton building- she could ask Master who she was and what to do (Master wouldn't lie... H-he was a kind man, wasn't he?)- but Meiko's feet didn't carry her in that direction.

Maybe it was because she already knew the answer to that question.

Was he a kind man…?

The memory, ingrained in her mind like a carving in wood, spoke volumes.

_"We can change that."_

That memory (but was it _her_ memory?) sparked in her mind; a warning signal- a flashing red light.

_Come into my parlor little flies, said the spider._

_"Don't go back to Master. At least, not willingly. He'll eat you alive."_

And, somehow, Meiko knew that was true.

But... if she couldn't turn to her Master, and she couldn't stay with her family… then who _could_ she rely on?

Where would she go?

A smiling face appeared at the forefront of Meiko's mind; crimson eyes, illogical hair that made gravity cry, and a wide grin.

Teto.

She could talk to Teto.

M-maybe Teto would understand.

...And even though it wasn't Kaito, it was better than nobody.

So Meiko ran.

* * *

"W-what are we going to do?" asked Miku, tugging at the end of one of her twin tails in fear. "W-what are we going to do about Mei-chan...?"

Kaito was still looking down at his hand, eyes wide; still trying to process what he'd done.

What he'd said.

H-how could he have said that...?

Meiko might have been different- she had a younger body and wide eyes, honey-brown hair and an innocent smile- but she was still _Meiko_.

And even though Sakine Meiko w_asn't_ the Meiko Kaito loved so much, she was still a _**person. **_She was a teenage girl not at all unlike Miku, with thoughts and feelings and hopes and dreams- and Kaito had known this (he'd **known**, even though he'd pretended she was heartless just so he could hate her- it would have been **easier **to hate her).

Deep in his heart, Kaito had known.

Sakine Meiko was just a lonely, lost, confused girl.

And he'd broken her heart.

He'd torn her feelings out of her chest and stamped on them- reduced them to wretched, bloody, worthless pieces- all the same.

H-how could he have done something so cruel..?

Kaito would never have slapped Miku or Len. Kaito had never even (would never even _dream_) of slapping Rin, even when she was being her most annoying **and** ate all his ice-cream, not because she liked it, but because she wanted to piss him off.

It had never worked, though.

Wasn't Kaito meant to be the kindly big brother figure?

Sakine Meiko might have been a different person in the past, but she hadn't known about her older counterpart (how _could_ she have known?), and Sakine Meiko had been- in most respects- as young and clueless as Miku had been when the twin-tailed diva was first introduced to the Vocaloid family.

Sakine Meiko had only wanted somebody to talk to.

To comfort her.

To love her.

And Kaito had...

He'd...

Kaito didn't even want to think about what he'd done.

He wanted to run away.

Pretend it never happened.

B-but he'd tried that in the past- hadn't he?- and that hadn't worked; it hadn't worked at _all_. He'd tried to ignore Sakine Meiko; hoping, somehow, that by turning his head away she'd cease to exist and the old Meiko would return.

Kaito knew he couldn't keep running away from his problems.

He had to face them head on.

He had to grow up.

_"Put the ice-cream back, you idiot! Shit- can't you behave like an __**adult **__for once in your life?"_

He had to grow up for Meiko.

It was the only way he could save her.

Or whatever bits and pieces Crypton had left of her.

Kaito stood up suddenly, moving before his brain had fully processed the situation (but that was what he always did, wasn't it? Stupid- so _stupid_; he never stopped to think).

"K-kaito-nii-chan?" Miku asked, eyes wide. "W-where are you going...?"

Kaito's voice was set with determination when he spoke.

"I'm going to find Meiko."

And he was going to apologise.

He was going to... be an adult.

And take responsibility for what he'd done.

Kaito didn't know where Meiko had gone- and he doubted, in her confused state, that Meiko herself knew where she was going either- but that didn't matter. Vocaloids were different from human beings; and Vocaloids built by the same company were able to 'sense' each other, even across the seas. It was a weak link; easy to ignore (and, for the most part, the Vocaloids did ignore it; Rin could quite happily eat her pancakes in the morning without tuning into Hatsune Miku f.m. to discover her twin-tailed big sister was at the supermarket buying more cereal).

However, when one of the Vocaloids was experiencing a powerful rush of emotion- such as fear, or intense pain- the 'bond' between the Vocaloids became stronger and stronger; more than mere background noise, static, that could be ignored.

Kaito could still remember what he'd been doing when Master 'upgraded' Meiko. He could remember it with pitch-perfect clarity; because he'd experienced such a rush of pain it'd felt like his head had split in two.

Kaito had been terrified of that pain then; it had cut through him with the sharpness of an axe.

But now he could use that pain.

He could use that pain to find Meiko.

Kaito made for the front door; but he paused, frowning, as a weight held him back.

He turned around.

Miku was holding onto the end of his scarf, her face filled with uncharacteristic severity. Hatsune Miku looked as though she was ready to step up onto a stage; deep in concentration- though Miku _**never **_concentrated that hard even for her most popular, sell-out concerts.

Miku was a success.

A superstar.

And she knew, the moment she got a microphne into her hand and a spotlight fell upon her, she would dazzle everybody.

Failure was never even an option.

But nurturing a human relationship was like watering a flower; it could go so badly wrong, and the final result could be a beautiful flower, or a withered wreck.

Hatsune Miku could never fail to impress her fan base.

But she _could _fail in helping Meiko.

And maybe that was why... she looked so serious...

Because nothing was guaranteed.

And she could fail.

Hatsune Miku was not used to failing.

"You're not going anywhere," said Miku. Her voice was deeper than usual; quite unlike the high-pitched, childish tones she used to sing her more popular songs, like 'Hato' or 'World is Mine.'

And then Miku smiled.

"Not without me."

* * *

Kagamine Rin was sat on her bed, legs crossed, an opened orange sat by her side. She'd been popping the juicy segments into her mouth slowly, robotically, one after the other, taking time to savor the sweet taste.

Len had always found it strange Rin loved oranges so much- especially as it took so much effort for her to peel them (Rin was into the habit of biting her nails and, as such, she always found digging into her favorite snack a challenge). When Rin was in her usual high sprits she'd use her teeth to pull off the peel, moving with a frenzied speed; but now, when her eyes were filled with storm clouds, it was different. She'd peeled her orange very slowly, and very carefully- almost tenderly...

And Len realised she was trying not to cry.

Rin had been focusing all her energy, all her concentration, into peeling that stupid orange so she wouldn't get upset.

If the entirety of her mind was focused on a task- even a simple task- then she couldn't think about Meiko too much.

And she couldn't cry.

Kagamine Rin never cried…

The voices from downstairs had drifted up into the Kagamines' shared room; and, whilst Crypton was a fairly wealthy company, the walls and floors in the Vocaloids' house were stupidly thin. Couldn't the people at Crypton have spent more money on their cash-cow franchise?

It didn't seem very fair.

Rin had shuddered when she'd first heard the screams- but she had continued doggedly with her task, her tongue poking past her lips as she peeled her orange slowly, so slowly...

And then the front door had slammed, and even Rin- lost in her zen-like trace of removing the white pith from the oranges and staining her fingertips- had jumped.

"Rin...?" Len asked softly, cautiously.

Rin turned to look at him.

Her blue eyes were fraught with worry.

"S-something bad just happened, didn't it?" said Rin.

Len... didn't know how to respond.

But Miku's frantic, frenzied voice- "_M-mei-chan! W-what are we going to do about Mei-chan?"-_ answered for him.

Silence overtook the Kagamines; a silence broken by Rin shifting restlessly- and then, louder than that, a small noise of pain escaped Rin's parted lips.

I-it hurt...

The sweet taste of the orange segments in her mouth mingled with the dull, thumping pain forming throughout her head; a pain that didn't lessen over time, but seemed to increase, become shaper and sharper, until it felt like she was being poked in the side of the head with a pencil.

This pain was Meiko's pain.

And this sadness was Meiko's sadness.

Len, too, was shivering- pressing his fingertips against his arms, biting his lower lip.

More noise came from downstairs; voices.

_"I'm going to find Meiko."_

"Huh." Rin gave a small sigh, her unclipped bangs (why hadn't she clipped them back? She couldn't remember) fluttering slightly from the air she expelled from her mouth. "S-sound's like Kaito's trying to play at being the 'superhero' again."

"He's not very good at that, is he?" asked Len, smiling.

"N-no... But Bakaito does his best, I guess... H-haha..."

"He wouldn't get anywhere without us though, would he?"

"Of course not."

_"You're not going anywhere."_

Another voice. It sounded like Miku's.

"M-miku is a little more mature," said Len. "Kaito'll be okay if she's with him..."

"Ha!" Rin snorted, rolling her eyes. "Miku? 'Mature'? That girl thinks leeks are the epitome of _cool_- like, the best things since sliced bread. No! No no no no!" Rin shook her head, her oversized ribbon bouncing like the ears of a rabbit. "It's no good. Without the amazing expertise of the Kagamine twins, poor Mei-chan is doooo~med. I wouldn't trust Miku and Kaito to find a needle in a stack of needles, let alone a runaway sibling"

Len winced at the word 'doomed'- but his small smile didn't waver.

"If you feel so strongly about this maybe we should lend them a hand, then? With the 'amazing expertise of the Kagamine twins'- as you put it- Miku and Kaito couldn't possibly fail to find Mei-chan."

"That... Is a _very _good idea," said Rin, smirking. "I'm impressed."

"That's why I'm the 'smart one'," Len replied, words filled with faux arrogance (Rin was the really arrogant one out of the pair, and she knew it). Len gave a light, friendly tug at Rin's ribbon.

Rin raised a brow perfectly (it was an expression she practised in the bathroom mirror whilst brushing her teeth). "_You_? The smart one? Don't make me laugh!"

"I like it when you laugh."

"Ahaha... You're such a sweet idiot."

Len smiled. "Thank you."

Then came Miku's voice again, drifting through the floorboards; _"Not without me."_

And Rin knew it was time to act.

She got to her feet hastily- paused, then scooped up the remaining orange segments (she didn't know when she'd get back home to eat them)- and ran down the stairs, taking them two or three at a time.

When she finally hit the ground floor with a 'thump', the whole house seemed to shake.

With messy hair and wide eyes, Rin careened into Kaito and began to shout.

"You guys aren't going without me either!"

"R-rin...?" squeaked Miku, eyes wide as saucers.

"Or me," Len intoned, smiling. Whilst his entrance hadn't been quite as dramatic as Rin's (Len had taken the stairs one at a time, like a normal person), Miku and Kaito still turned to look at him in surprise.

They probably thought they'd been 'secretive'.

Ha!

Len had to smirk at the idea.

Kaito couldn't have kept a secret if his life depended on it, and Miku was about as stealthy as an elephant painted neon yellow.

"This is a family matter. Quite frankly, I'm disgusted you didn't consult us Kagamines about this," said Len, smiling. "Did you really think we'd take it lying down?"

"I know! I'm so disappointed!" said Rin, giving a light, playful tug to one of Miku's twin tails. "But we can set that right, yes?"

"Let's do this as a family," said Len.

"Alright!" Rin punched her fist in the air; and then, with a smile, popped the remaining pieces of orange segments into her mouth, and bit down.

The 'Let's Search for Sakine Meiko Rescue Party' had officially begun.

And the whole of Tokyo would tremble in fear at the collective strength of the unite Vocaloid family.

Nothing could stop them from finding Meiko now.

They were indestructible.

* * *

**a/n: **Yay :3 And then people realise the error of their ways and nice things begin to happen.  
I love the Vocaloid family, they're so cu~ute :3

I think this whole story may have only two or three chapters left, so please stay tuned :3  
Oh, and tell me if you like it, okay? XD~

**~renahhchen xoxo**


	11. A night walking with Miss Lonesome

**Sakine Syndrome****  
**Chapter Eleven

_''A night walking with Miss Lonesome_"

* * *

"Move it! Get out of my way!"

"R-rin, try to be more polite," said Miku, voice faltering. "Manners don't cost anything…"

"Manners? Hah! Manners run away _**screaming**_ from Kagamine Rin!" Rin declared proudly- for some reason Len couldn't fathom. Nobody could sound 'proud' about being a rude, completely irridemable human being apart from Kagamine Rin.

Rin followed her haughty statement by sticking her nose up in the air- acting as though she were the princess of some small, undiscovered kingdom called Lucifena.

Maybe Rin was just trying to get in character for her up-coming music video to 'Daughter of Evil'; but it wasn't like Rin really _needed_ to work hard to play a convincing spoilt brat. She had that 'act' down perfectly already.

"Well, that's certainly true. I'd run screaming from you too, if I had any sense," said Len, smiling, burying his hands into his coat pockets.

"Hey." Rin turned to stick her tongue out at Len. "Watch it, buster."

"Alrighty then, Stumpy."

"That insult totally bounces off the amazing armor of Kagamine Rin because she knows Len is only like an inch taller than her anyway!" Rin declared, her eyes blazing with the fires of determination. "That's why you have to spike your hair up, Lenners. 'Cause you're a short-ass and you know it!"

Len laughed; although, in almost any other situation, he would have prodded Rin in the side or made some disparaging comment to combat her venomous glare.

Len wasn't in the mood to argue with his sister.

Not when they were on a mission.

Rin was walking at the forefront of the ragtag Vocaloid party, her arms swinging back and forth as though she were marching them into battle. She looked unusually serious; but the effect was ruined, somewhat, by her over-sized coat. Rin had been unable to find her own coat, and she'd point-blank refused to leave the house without one, considering the temperate was cold enough to turn water to ice. However, the only spare coat they'd been able to find on short notice (fashion didn't matter overly much when you were trying to track down a runaway sibling- trying not to freeze to death, however, _**did**_; especially when you had to perform 'Butterfly on your Right Shoulder' tomorrow to a crowd of thousands as Kagamine Rin did) was one of Kaito's old, ratty, threadbare blue and white coats worn from use. The arms fell well past the tips of Rin's fingers, and the hem brushed the floor, gathering a fine film of dirt and grime when Rin moved.

Len was loathe to compliment his annoying sister- especially as Rin was already so big-headed if she accepted any more compliments her head would explode like an over-filled balloon- but, in that huge coat with that serious scowl, Rin did look...

Really very cute...

Of course, Len didn't say that.

Admitting to Rin he found her somewhat adorable would've been suicidal.

No; it was much better to say nothing.

* * *

Meiko shuddered, wrapping her arms round her bare shoulders. She hadn't thought to take a coat when she left the house. She hadn't thought of much at all, really; she'd been so fixed on her goal of trying to put as much distance between herself and Kaito and her confused feelings as possible.

Now, however, Meiko was paying the price. Her skin was ice-cold to touch; her own embrace couldn't offer her any warmth anymore.

Meiko ran her fingers up and down her arms, trying to generate some friction, but that didn't help; instead, it only seemed to spread the cold- just like introducing ice cubes to liquid nitrogen.

Meiko had no idea where she was.

She didn't know where to go.

And she was...

Scared.

The buildings surrounded her on all sides- seeming to press into her- and the cold December wind bit through her flesh like the hungry teeth of a ravenous beast.

There were no people around anymore. Somehow she'd managed to leave them all behind; the families, the kissing couples on dates- their happy sounds had faded to all but background noise, and now even that was gone.

Meiko was in a small, secluded alley, on Christmas eve, all by herself, without a coat, and she was going to catch a cold and die.

It was not a pleasant way to go; especially not for a well-known diva like herself.

Her final resting place was not particularly picturesque, either/

Ground glass sparkled on the ground; bottles (some of them half-empty, oozing sticky liquid) were shattered against the grey concrete- larger pieces of glass shimmering with sharp, jagged sides. The scent of trash hung in the air- thick and heavy, almost tangible. An overflowing dumpster was sat directly opposite Meiko, located underneath a weather-ruined building with boarded-up windows. The side of the dumpster was sprayed with some crude graffiti- strange symbols in bright red paint that had run, just a little, from rainfall; and maybe the person who'd left their mark there hadn't had a steady grip on the spray can in the first place (perhaps that had something to do with all those empty bottles of alcohol?)

It wasn't a Christmas eve scene.

Meiko should have been at home, with her family, sat by the fire.

Not...

Not _here._

Suddenly, there was a flash of movement- a loud clang- and Meiko jumped, her fingernails digging into flesh.

Her heart leapt into her throat.

There was somebody- or, to use a hackneyed phrase, some_thing_- moving about in the darkness. Meiko could feel eyes staring at her from pooled shadows.

They were watching her.

Meiko couldn't even draw the breath to scream.

Who was it?

Who was there?

They were questions Meiko couldn't ask. Her throat felt dry- completely parched, like sandpaper- and it hurt even to swallow, let alone try to form words, sounds.

She could only gasp.

…But, as Meiko soon discovered, she needn't have worried.

There was a small meow- tentative, almost- and then, out of the darkness, loped the form of a bedraggled cat. Its fur was almost indistinguishable from the shadows cast across the glass-strewn, gum-splattered floor; but its green eyes were very distinctive, and very piercing.

Almost knowing.

Meiko watched as the cat- a skinny creature, painfully skinny, like a bundle of sticks covered in fur- moved with a clumsy inelegance towards the dumpster. It pawed at the pile of decay unsteadily- off-balance, was it limping?- and then it dipped its head to wrestle some half-rotten food item from the pile of fly-ridden trash.

The cat didn't linger, though.

With another purr and a flick of its tail it successfully pulled the festering piece of whatever out of the foul-smelling chaos; and then, moving quickly despite its limp, it melted back into the darkness. Meiko was sure she could see the cat's lime green eyes staring at her for a few moments- before it, too, turned tail and fled.

Even the starving cat with the visible ribs and a mouthful of rotten, slimy something-or-other scavenged from a trash pile didn't want to associate itself with Meiko.

That was funny, almost...

Meiko gave a small sniff, her eyes burning, throat stinging, as she wiped her bare arm across her eyes.

She had so many fans- but they couldn't help her now.

Nobody could...

She really was alone.

And it was that thought- above all else- that made Sakine Meiko slump against the filthy floor and cry.

* * *

"Hey, guys, I knowww I'm totally amazing but I'm a bit busy now, kay? So stop staring and go about your daily lives and I won't have to break some jaws or smack some bitches, okay?" Rin declared for the whole street to hear, as she pushed her way inelegantly through the gathering crowds.

The streets were completely packed, the people huddled together in their winter coats like rather festive sardines in a cramped can. After all, it _was_ Christmas Eve. The darkening street- lit up with fairy lights strung in a complex mesh from building to building- bustled with activity; from late-night shoppers who'd put off buying Christmas gifts until the last minute (they'd have a fun fun fun night of insomnia and frenzied present-wrapping ahead of them, thought Len with a small smile) to couples spanning the entire age spectrum on 'romantic' dates (although what was so romantic about being pushed about the town centre like electrons in a circuit board Len didn't know) to a family of frantic Vocaloids cutting a path through the crowds to find their long-lost (for about an hour, anyway) sibling.

If the Vocaloids had been regular people the task of getting from point A to point B to point Meiko probably wouldn't have been too difficult.

However, as they were a family of famous robot singers, they were getting a fair bit of attention- thus, creating more blankly-staring, open-mouthed obstacles for Rin to plough through, with her body made of pointy elbows and hateful death glares.

Hell, even the people who _didn't _know who the Vocaloids were just **had** to stop and stare at the strange blonde girl in the coat twelve sizes too big shouting at everybody.

The street was relatively crowded to begin with; but, as news began to spread the whole Vocaloid family (sans Meiko) were wandering around, more and more people began to join the fray. Many of them had their cell phones or digital cameras out, and they were trying to take pictures; blurry snapshots of Rin's scowling face half-hidden by the back of somebody's head and the like.

Was it really worth the effort?

Urgh. A gaggle of spotty guys- two of them bespectacled- were shouting at Miku, trying to get the twin-tailed diva's attention. When Miku finally turned her head, eyes wide, confused, they seemed to melt against each other in a horrible pile of acne-covered, fanyboy-ish goo.

It was enough to make Rin grind her teeth together.

"_Miku-chan, would you give me a cutting of your hair? Please? Please!"_

"_Len-Len, would you sign this CD? Let me get you a pen-"_

"_Screw you and your sissy pens, you can sign my face with my own BLOOD!"_

"_Hey Rin-Rin, can I get a picture of you kissing Len? It would be soooo cute!"_

"_No, fuck that! I want a picture of Len kissing Kaito!"_

"_No fair, I asked first!"_

"_Miku-chan, what's your cup size?"_

"_What about that signed CD, LenLen?"_

Rin's left eye began to twitch.

She needed to do something to halt this madness- and **fast**. If she didn't, she'd turn into some crazed serial killer, head off to the nearest construction site, and then proceed to enact her wildest fantasies by running over that stupid mass of intense idiocy with her road roller. Spinal columns snapping and screams of pain and blood flowing across the streets everywhere! People writhing in pain, trying to get to their feet, only to realise their legs were smashed and broken! Pain! Destruction! Evil laughter!

Yes!

That was the sort of world Kagamine Rin wanted to be in!

But that was no good.

That was no good at all.

Rin paused, pinching her cheek; trying to draw herself out her fantasy.

She still had a runaway sibling to find.

Snapping spines could come later.

Moving with fearful speed, Rin pulled her over-sized ribbon off her head (it tangled in her hair, making her wince), stuffing it into her pocket. Then, she proceeded to liberate Kaito of his scarf. After that she pulled Miku's long hair free of it's trademark twin tails, and then tucked all of Miku's turquoise locks neatly into the back of her coat and put up the famous diva's hood.

All the while, as Rin worked at hiding as much of her useless family's faces as possible to avoid public scrutiny, she'd been glaring daggers and knives at anybody who dared try to take a picture of her.

Especially pictures of her being 'cutsey' with Len.

_**Bleurghhh.**_

Perish the thought.

Even if Len was kind of adorable, in a goofy, stupid way- not that Rin would ever tell him that. He was already so vain, spending longer doing his hair in the morning than Rin did, he didn't need another ego-boost.

After Rin had 'disguised' everybody- albeit loosely- the crowd around them seemed to die down; but it didn't thin completely.

The Vocaloids might have been unrecognisable with their hoods pulled over their faces, shadows marring the upper-part of their heads from the public view, but that didn't change the fact there were _still _a lot of late night shoppers and hand-in-hand couples.

And they still had a Sakine Meiko to find.

Miku and Kaito were rather pathetic when it came to negating through the crowds; they hung back, wide-eyed, apologising every time they bumped shoulders with somebody else.

Kagamine Rin was something else altogether, though.

She moved like an unstoppable force of nature- a hurricane, maybe- obliterating all who were foolish enough to cross her.

Even in that ridiculously over-sized coat, with the sleeves that trailed almost to her knees (the swamping, engulfing nature of that coat was all the more strange considering Kaito wasn't _that_ much taller than Rin; but clothes worked in mysterious ways), Rin was a force to be reckoned with.

To be more precise, she was absolutely _terrifying._

"H-hey! Watch out, retard!" spat a familiar-looking blonde-haired, turning to give Rin the middle finger.

Rin returned the gesture with an equally terrifying scowl that would've made Nosferatu the Vampyre cry.

"Maybe _you_ should watch out where _you're _going, asshole!" Rin spat back, voice acidic. If Len had to place it on the pH scale (because he did stupid things like that when he got bored), he'd say it was about a 3.

"You really _do _have a way with people, dear sister," said Len, voice fringed with obvious sarcasm, as he gave a small, apologetic smile to the blonde girl Rin had all but _ploughed _into like a truck.

The unnamed (yet strangely familiar-looking) blonde girl promptly flushed, glared at him- and then swore, very loudly.

Len sighed.

Well.

He did _try _to be polite.

Even if Rin didn't.

* * *

"Oh man, you should've seen it- it was fuckin' hilarious."

"Y-yeah; he just, like, fell over on her ass! W-what a fucking retard!"

"Hahaha!"

The sound of mingled laughter (_male _laughter) made Meiko lift her head. Her movements were slow, sluggish; her circuitry eaten through, fried, with cold and worry. Sakine Meiko moved like the robot she was, with heavy limbs hanging, her head pounding.

She didn't know how long she'd been sat in the cold, but the fetid stench of garbage no longer smelt so disgusting. Meiko knew it was clinging, sickly, to her hair and clothes and skin; but she didn't care.

You could get used to anything, she supposed, if you were exposed to it long enough- no matter how unpleasant it was.

Even fear.

Even confusion.

And even loneliness.

The sound of laughter was getting closer- echoing around the otherwise deserted alley- and Meiko could hear footsteps, too-

And then a loud crash split through the silence.

It sounded like breaking glass.

"W-what'd you do that for?"

"I-I just dropped it, it slipped, it slipped- n-not my fault, not my fuckin' fault... I-it's so cold I can barely feel my fingers, y'know?"

"W-waste of perfectly good booze, disphit."

"Why don't you just lick it up off the floor if yer sooo desperate, man?"

"Maybe I will, Ryu- maybe I fuckin' will."

"Ahahaha. That's sick, man."

And then, as Meiko stared- too tired and dazed and cold and miserable to even _think _about moving- several figures walked round the corner.

Right into Meiko's field of vision.

It was a group of boys (or was that young men? Meiko could hardly tell; though one of them had stubble). There were four of them, dressed in baggy clothes, holding half-filled bottles of suspect-looking liquid in their slackened, frost-bitten fingers. They walked uneasily, lurching, as though leaden weights were tied to their legs; and Meiko realised, by the unpleasant smell that hung about them (of vomit and cigarette smoke and alcohol mixed together in a putrid cocktail even more overpowering than the strewn-about trash) that they were drunk.

"H-hey-" one of the boys (men?) said, slurring over his words, pointing at Meiko. "L-look. T-there's some homeless bitch in our spot or sumthin'."

"She's not movin'. D'you think she's okay?"

"Who the fuck cares- she's a sexy girl, and she's all alone, in our spot," said one of the boys/men (it was impossible to tell; but they didn't look that old. Hardly old enough to be shambling, red-eyed wrecks through dirty alleyways), pointing a trembling finger at Meiko's fallen form. "W-what you say?"

"What're you suggesting?"

The boy/man sniggered and rolled his eyes (the whites were more yellow than white, and they were bloodshot, criss-crossed with crimson lines like veins)- and then he made a crude gesture.

"I-it's Christmas eve, an' we're all alone gettin' pissed," one of his friends said, nodding; speaking far too quickly, words pouring from his mouth like water from a fountain. Spit, too, flecked his lips- some of it running down his chin (though he didn't seem to notice- he was swaying too much). "T-this fuckin' sucks. W-why don't we have some fun with the fairer sex, huh?"

"Good idea."

Meiko's shoulders stiffened. The rapid racing of her heart was beating a tattoo against her ribcage; and when she tried to ease herself onto her feet (she was shaking; the cold had cut right through her and she probably looked worse than those men did- her cheeks stained with snail-like tear-tracks, her hair messy, the scent of garbage clinging against her bare skin) she slipped slightly.

The group of men (no not men stupid _boys_, stupid children not much older than Miku, thinking they were _so _intimidating with their beer and their cigarettes well _fuck them_) began to snigger.

And then one of them started forwards- his body jolting as though he were on a ship out at sea (he smelt like a sewer; just looking at his rat-like face made Meiko's insides constrict)- and his eyes widened with recognition.

"H-hey, thass... thassnot some random chick," he said, tripping over his words (and God, he probably hadn't drank _that_ much and he was already wasted; how **pathetic**). "Thassnot... she's... she's that..."

"What're you talking about, man? It don't matter where you've seen her before, s'long as she's up for some fun."

Meiko's eyes narrowed.

Fear coursed through her body; a fear so potent she could barely keep herself upright- and she was so cold, the trash-flavored wind dancing across her exposed skin and making her shudder-

But there was more than fear inside her.

_**Far**_ more.

There was revulsion.

Disgust.

And anger.

"N-no I know her I know her- pretty little girl, s-such a fuckin' tease with those tight outfits an' short skirts," the stupid boy said, getting over-excited in his drink (and possibly drug) induced torpor. His fingers were trembling like flies in a spider web; and then, moving suddenly, his hand reached forwards to take Meiko's arm.

Meiko didn't intend to shout- didn't intend to give them the satisfaction (she'd done enough shouting already).

But she couldn't help herself.

The sound tore itself from her lips before she could stop it-

"Let me go!"

And...

The man's knowing smirk widened.

His grip tightened.

"I-I know it now! Ahaha... I didn't fuckin get it at first cause she looks like such a wreck, but it's her! It's totally her! It's Sakine Meiko- tha' tight-ass bitch superstar. I'd recognise that high-pitched squealy 'voice' anywhere, ahahaha. Her songs are fuckin' awful but she's kinda hot, huh?"

"Haha! Whoa, Mitsuru- you're right; totally fuckin right. God, she looks nothin' like her picture," said another man (not a man a stupid boy Meiko could outlast him in a drinking competition she could wipe the floor with him and she wouldn't even break a sweat).

"C-can you even fuck a robot?"

"I'unno," said 'Mitsuru', his demented grin growing wider. "W-why don't we find out?"

* * *

"I-I can feel it...! W-we're close!"

Rin, Len, Miku, and the few other members of the public that had strayed from the busy central high street in their late night Christmas eve celebrations turned to give Kaito a funny look.

"What? You can feel what, Einstein?" asked Rin flippantly, pressing one hand against her waist (but the effect was ruined, somewhat, by the massive sleeve that engulfed most of her fist).

Kaito didn't reply at first. His body was trembling despite his heavy coat (Rin had taken his scarf away and had appropriated it for herself; scarves were such a 'Kaito' item it was a dead giveaway of his true identity).

Rin began to tap her foot on the ground, growing impatient-

But then it hit her too.

That much was obvious by the way she winced, doubling over in pain- and a short, sharp, broken 'owww' forced itself from her throat.

A sudden, sharp burst of pain exploded inside her head- inside her brain; tapping on the inside of her skull like fingertips- as though somebody was trying to prise her head open.

Miku and Len, too, were staggering slightly, their fingers going to her heads; trying to compress their skulls together, trying to keep all their thoughts and feelings in because it was tearing them apart at the seams just a little and it hurt it hurt it hurt so much, but it wasn't a constant assault of painpainpain, no; it came in sporadic bursts, like the pinpricks of needles or the undulations of the tide; in and out and in out, and Miku's eyes began to water and Len half-collapsed against Rin for support but despite the pain and the fear and the red-hot burning anger they knew.

All of them, connected by pain- Meiko's pain; but that pain had passed to Kaito, which had then been shared with Rin and Len and Miku until they were all feeling enough anguish for five people- knew.

They knew where Meiko was.

But the burning agony passed quickly- far too quickly, the tide went out and stayed out and they all tensed, waiting for another onslaught, but it never happened; and Len was left, almost boneless, his head resting on Rin's shoulder with her arms round his waist, and Miku had collapsed against the nearest boarded-up building, and Kaito was left with a filthy taste in his mouth no amount of spitting would remove, until his throat felt red-raw.

But the peculiar sensation of their heads being prised open was gone.

It was over.

That should have been a comfort.

But it wasn't.

The Vocaloids could help but worry… That they'd been too late.

Somebody else had already found Meiko.

And severed her connection with her family completely.

* * *

**a/n: **Intense chapter! o:  
I like how I wrote this. It seems kind of different from my usual style because I focused on setting/description more than feelings, but idk if the quality of my fic suffered from that because Meiko's emotions are quite frankly more important than what the air smells like, but whatever XD I have discovered I like describing surroundings too, even though I rarely do it in much detail.  
What's gonna happen next? Dundundun!~~

Oh, and I totally seem to be slipping some adorable Len/Rin in here without really intending to. I'm sorry XD Their relationship is cute too though, you know? XD~

**~renahhchen xoxo**


	12. The late arrival of Prince Charming

**Sakine Syndrome****  
**Chapter Twelve

_''The fashionably late arrival of Prince Charming_"

* * *

One of the men (Ryu? Their names were unimportant; hell, everything about them was unimportant- the separate details about those awful, foul-smelling men blurred together in Meiko's mind until she couldn't distinguish them at all) pulled Meiko towards him, his eyes unfocused with alcohol and lust...

Meiko felt her skin crawl as his fingers pressed against her skin- his lips pressed against her ear- and he was laughing, they all were laughing; stupid men picking on a girl half their size, wasn't that clever?

Wasn't that funny?

No.

It was _pathetic._

_Rin's eyes were watery, misty blue that trembled with unshed tears, and even though she sniffled- trying to hide her eyes behind her arm- it was obvious she was on the verge of tears._

_"It's alright, Rin," said Meiko, her voice hard- steely- even though she was smiling, slightly. "I'll let Len know just how _unforgivable _it is to make a girl cry."_

Unforgivable.

Any man who made a girl cry was...

"Completely... _unforgivable_..."

"Huhhh?" asked the man, looking down at Meiko. There was a stupid grin plastered across his face. "What was that? What was it? Ahahaha..."

"I think she wants it."

"Stupid fuckin jailbait superstar- acting all aloof; but all girls are the same, right?"

"O-of course... Ahahaha..."

Laughter. More laughter. It buzzed around Meiko's head like flies; invading her ears (inside her brain), humming like static; pulsating unpleasantly.

An unpleasant sound.

Completely _despicable._

Meiko wasn't sure whether or not the disgusting misogynist drivel spilling from these men's mouths- as slimy as the trash strewn across the floor, swirling at Meiko's feet (and damn it, she was getting her shoes all dirty)- was just the alcohol talking or not. People said stupid things when they were drunk, things they didn't really mean, and they often felt incredibly embarrassed about it afterwards.

_"Kaiii-channn, y're not... n-not... Ahaha~"_

_Kaito flinched, shoulders stiffening, and he immediately- before he'd even heard what Meiko was going to say- began to gabble excuses._

"_I-it wasn't me, Meiko, I-I didn't do it, I'm sorry, I-I…"_

_But Meiko didn't try to hit the stupid, unintelligible blue-haired man as she would have done in so many other situations._

_Instead, she smiled._

_"Y-y're not __that__ bad, ya know? I'm... I'm g-glad to have you with me..."_

_Kaito paused._

"_Wait, really?"_

_And then flushed- the unexpected praise turning his cheeks light pink._

"_I-I'm glad to have you too, Mei-chan. B-but you wouldn't say that normally…"_

"_Well, maybe I should more… m-more often then. 'C-cause you're not that stupid all the time… N-not… A-and maybe I kinda do, um… Y'know, I-"_

_But then Meiko was hiccupping, her head falling forwards; her whole body seeming to collapse from underneath her._

"_Mei-chan!"_

_Moving quickly, with a speed he hadn't known he possessed, Kaito caught Meiko in his arms before she could topple over into an inebriated pile of light-headed giggling boneless limbs._

_"Yay, Kaito~ Hehe~"_

That memory was faded; immersed in a thick fog, and so blurry Meiko could hardly remember it.

But it was still _there._

People didn't always say what they meant.

And maybe, at any other time, under any other scenario- when these men (stupid boys) were not quite so drunk, not quite so wasted and not quite so lonely on Christmas eve with nobody else to share the 'happy' time with- those men weren't all that terrible. All human beings- even the most selfish, twisted of ones- had some redeeming qualities; and that was just what made humans so amazing.

But that didn't mean a thing.

It didn't mean a thing at all when they'd tried- were still trying to- assault Meiko.

If any person treated Rin in such a way (although Rin could probably take care of herself, being a not-so-closet closet psychopath who's violent nature could rival Meiko's)- or, god forbid, the sweet and innocent _Miku_- then Meiko would've decapitated them without batting an eyelid.

But they hadn't cornered Rin or Miku.

They'd cornered Sakine Meiko.

Meiko's eyes narrowed.

But... she wasn't that girl anymore.

She was Meiko.

_**Just **_Meiko.

And, whilst Sakine Meiko would have trembled in fear and tried to run (tried to scream), Meiko was different.

Meiko wouldn't forgive them.

These men (these pathetic wastes of flesh) could apologise- pay their penance- by lying in broken heaps on the floor, their bodies mixed among the bits of foul-smelling trash; where they belonged. And what a nice way to spend Christmas eve that would be.

"Unforgivable..." Meiko said, voice soft- but it grew it volume, as her fingers formed fists. "Absolutely unforgivable!"

There was a loud, satisfying crunch, as Meiko's fist ploughed into her captor's face.

* * *

It was Kaito who began running first. His footsteps echoed eerily about the more secluded streets, making a loud, steady thump-thump-thump pattern throughout the all-but silent air that seemed to mirror a human's heartbeat.

Kaito's hood (Rin had pulled it up before to disguise his recognisable blue hair; not that many people really recognized, or cared, about Shion Kaito anyway. Not when the Kagamines or Hatsune Miku were around to gawp at and obsesses over) was blown down by his sudden movement, his hair fluttering in the sudden chill wind.

"Hey!" Rin called after him, flailing her skinny arms, still swamped in that ridiculously over-sized coat. "Come back, Bakaito! You'll, like, trip and fall headfirst into a trash can or somethin'! Where will you be without the amazing-awesome Rin to guide you?"

"P-please be careful!" Miku squeaked, her hands clasped together at her front.

Miku didn't want Kaito to get hurt, too. If Meiko was in danger they couldn't just charge blindly in; they needed to asses the situation- and wasn't this supposed to be a _family _effort?

But Miku could understand Kaito's determination.

He cared about Meiko.

He _loved _Meiko.

And he felt guilty for what he'd done.

Horribly, crushingly guilty.

That was why Kaito had at first set out to find Meiko by himself, trying to shake Miku off him and refute her attempts to help. And, most likely, that guilt was why he'd been so quiet as Rin cut a path through the crowds of pedestrians for them with her angry glares, bared teeth and foul temper.

It was a family effort, yes, and they were all trying to find Meiko.

They were all equally worried about Meiko.

But Kaito was the one who'd driven her away.

And Kaito was the one who wanted to bring her back.

And so, despite Rin's angry protests and Miku's stuttered 'p-please be careful's, Kaito didn't stop.

He_** couldn't**_ stop.

He couldn't slow down until he knew Meiko was safe.

* * *

"S-stupid fuckin' bitch!"

Meiko stood there, face impassive, as the sudden chill wind blew through her brown hair- sending it scattering. She'd styled it neatly that morning with a small smile spread across her lips (although that hadn't been her, had it? It had been the other Meiko. The younger one)- but now her hair was a complete mess. Every single strand seemed to be out of place; some parts of it sticking up, others lying flat, infused with the stench of dingy alleyways and garbage and rot and the faint, lingering scent of apple shampoo.

The man Meiko had punched recoiled from her blow, his fingers going to his nose; and Meiko was sure she'd broken cartilage (broken _something_, at least), and as he roared in pain.

"I-I'll... I'll get you for that, you bitch!"

He dived forwards, blinded with pain and alcohol- half-mad, like an animal. With grasping fingers and a mouth full of curses he tried to grab hold of Meiko; but she was too fast for him.

Meiko's reflexes were second-to-none, and she wasn't a withering, drunken mess with a bleeding nose. Even though she was far shorter, with a slight stature, she held the obvious advantage.

And she wasn't even afraid.

She was far too angry to be afraid.

Ducking under the boy's outstretched arms, Meiko turned, hair fluttering in the breeze-

"O-ow! Fuckfuckfuckfuck-"

-and she gave him such a kick to the groin she was sure he'd seen stars; that he'd be seeing stars for the next few weeks or so.

Nobody messed around with Meiko.

_**Nobody.**_

With another string of unintelligible curses, mixed with moans and gasps of pain (a chorus of agony that was music to Meiko's ears), her attacked slumped forwards onto the floor; blood trickling a garish trail from his nose, whilst his whole body convulsed.

The other three men (not men stupid boys) stared at Meiko with eyes so wide their eyeballs seemed in real, immediate danger of falling out of their sockets.

So stupid.

_Pathetic._

Not even worth her time.

Meiko smiled- but it was a smile in name only. It wasn't cheerful; in fact, it was far from it.

Her lips almost seemed to leak acid.

"Now... Who's next?" Meiko asked, her fingers forming fists- cracking her knuckles together in the most menacing way she could manage. That was how she dealt with Kaito when he being his usual idiotic self; she glared, cracked her knuckles- and instantly Kaito's face would turn white, as though he'd fallen into a bucket of rice flour, and he'd begin to gabble unintelligibly.

It seemed to have a similar effect on those stupid boys too.

"Aww~" said Meiko, her voice filled with mock concern. Pressing one finger against her lower, lip she looked about the assembled group of boys with a small pout tugging at her lips. "Doesn't anybody else want to play with me? You seemed so enthusiastic before, too... I was looking forward to beating the shit out of you. But if you don't wanna stick around you can always try and run away."

Meiko's taunts had the desired effect.

One of the boys- wasn't his name 'Ryu'? Not that it mattered (he didn't matter; stupid scum)- twitched slightly, his brows furrowing, fingers clenching into fists.

Meiko smirked.

People like that were so predictable. You just had to press the right buttons and...

Boom!

They'd explode.

"Shit! We're not going to let some pint-sized little... fuckin' _slut _push us around, are we, guys? Right, Take?"

"Ahaha- course not, Ryu!"

"You're gonna be sorry you ever crossed us, you stupid slut."

Meiko could only smirk.

"Alright then. Do your worst."

* * *

Kaito could hear his heart pounding in his ears as he ran, legs propelling his body forwards as quickly as they could manage. Once, twice, he stumbled- nearly tripped- but he managed to right himself before he crashed into the ground and still he kept on going.

He had to keep going.

Stopping wasn't an option.

As Kaito ran, pressing on and on and on until his legs felt numb and his heart felt like it'd explode out of his chest in a shower of pain and a fountain of blood, his surroundings slowly became more and more tumbledown. It felt like the too-tall buildings were pressing in on him- a paranoid imagining (a delusion), but it was somewhat fitting. The windows of the buildings were boarded up- but some people had pulled those boards away (the thick, heavy pieces of wood lay, rotting, water-logged on the floor, twisted nails sticking out of them) and the glass windows behind the boards had been smashed, leaving yawning mouths in the graffiti and weather stained concrete.

The oppressive, crooked buildings seemed to blot out all sunlight; casting dark shadows against the floor that reached long- almost as if they were trying to grab Kaito and swallow him whole.

It was a daunting thought- but Kaito tried to push it from his mind.

It didn't matter.

His own safety didn't matter.

All that mattered was Meiko.

He had to apologise to her.

He had to save her.

If anything happened to her- if anything hurt that small, barely-there piece of Meiko left inside Crypton's newest model (because Miku was right; the old Meiko was_ still_ in there somewhere, and if Kaito had looked hard enough maybe he would've found it earlier; maybe he wouldn't have been so stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid; he was )- Kaito didn't know what he'd do.

There might not have been much of Meiko left…

But he had to protect her no matter what.

Guilt coursed through Kaito's veins like blood, but it ran even thicker than that. That horrible, harrowing guilt left an unpleasant taste in Kaito's mouth- but it fuelled his body onwards, faster and faster, far past its usual limitations, until he could hardly take in any air anymore.

But that didn't matter; not anymore.

He had keep running.

He had to keep going.

He couldn't stop.

If it hurt- if it felt like his lungs were on fire and his heart could hardly beat anymore- then that was good. It meant he was suffering for what he'd done to Meiko; it was part of his redemption- and maybe even the stupid, useless, clumsy Kaito could be absolved of his sins if he tried hard enough.

He wouldn't give up.

He refused to give up on Meiko.

Kaito wasn't even sure what was guiding him anymore. The pain in his head (that alien sensation of fingers prising at his skull, trying to tear it in two) had long since gone- leaving only Kaito's own fear and confusion and that desperate, burning desire to pull Meiko into his arms (even if it wasn't the Meiko he loved so dearly, as a friend, or a sister, or maybe something else he hardly dared think about even when he was dreaming) and apologise. There was nothing left to help navigate Kaito through the complex maze of tall, ugly buildings and overflowing trash cans with their horrible, choking fetor- but, somehow, without knowing how he knew, Kaito was sure he was going in the right direction.

It felt like somebody was calling his name.

Reaching out for him.

Kaito heard a sudden flurry of movement- a shout, a scream, a thump, like something falling against the floor- and his heart leapt into his throat. All at once- in a matter of seconds- he lost his footing.

Lost his concentration.

Lost his balance completely.

The floor seemed to slip out from underneath him, as though somebody had pulled it away- just like the trick where you tried to move a tablecloth out from a set table without disturbing the plates and cups and cutlery- as Kaito's limbs pin-wheeled awkwardly in the air. His mouth opened in an 'o' of surprise.

He couldn't keep upright.

If the situation really was comparable to the moving-the-tablecloth trick, then Kaito's graceless tumble as his back met the ground and his teeth bit down on his tongue was an example of a_ failed_ version of that trick.

Kaito's blue, blue eyes stared up at the sky- pain jarring through his spine- and he groaned.

It seemed as though the stars- few and far between though they were- were mocking him.

Stupid.

So stupid.

Kaito tasted blood in his mouth- he couldn't even feel the tip of his tongue (had he bitten it off?)- and, coughing weakly, Kaito tried to get back to his feet. But Kaito's shaky legs, filled with adrenalin, wouldn't quite obey him.

Somehow, using every last reserve energy he had (dipping into the very last bit of power that still ran through his fingertips) Kaito managed to roll over.

He was on his hands and knees in a dirty alleyway (the floor was peppered with garbage and shards of glass- and Kaito winced, as his palm landed on a broken bottle. When he pulled away his skin was bleeding, shimmering glass embedded deep- but not too deep- into his flesh- stupid, he was so stupid).

Kaito whole body heaved, as he spat the disgusting mix of blood and spit out of his mouth. It trickled down his chin in a garish line; and the knowledge he was spitting on the floor made him feel even sicker.

Sick right down to the stomach.

He was trembling.

It was suddenly... so cold...

H-he was meant to be saving Meiko...

H-he had to find Meiko...

But, instead, he was scrabbling around in the dirt on his hands and knees, leaking blood from cracked lips and coughing because it felt like his lungs were on fire and he couldn't stand anymore; he'd been running too fast, much too fast, and now he had hardly any energy left.

Kaito couldn't even breathe.

Still coughing (pathetic, so pathetic), wiping the strawberry jam-colored trail of blood and spit from his chin with the sleeve of his coat (it was encrusted with dirt; he managed to smear a light film of dirt and grime against his cheek instead), Kaito lay there and trembled.

But...

Kaito's eyes widened as he felt something dig into his shoe.

As shoe was pressing, ever so slightly, against his ribs.

The pressure was almost non-existent, and it didn't hurt; not really- but, even so, it prompted another string of hacking coughs from Kaito, and more blood dribbled from his lips- drip drip drip against the filthy floor- as he tried desperately to inhale (but it felt like inhaling fire; as though sharpened objects were cutting against his throat, choking him...)

And then he heard a voice.

A tired, exasperated, almost _exhausted_ voice- and yet, despite that, they sounded...

Happy.

Just a little.

Even if they were trying to hide it.

"I-if you were going to 'save me' or something, you needn't have bothered. It took you long enough to get here... _Ba_kaito."

* * *

**a/n: **yay?  
This fic might be a little bit longer than I intended. Like, sixteen chapters instead of fourteen (and I assumed it would finish at the twelve mark... Ahaha... XD)  
But that just means more Meiko and Kaito interaction :3  
Also, this whole fic ended up being a /lot/ darker than I intended o_o;;  
I… Don't know if this is a good thing or not… o_o

Then again, the concept of this fic was pretty 'dark' anyway.  
But I feel bad abusing Kaito and Meiko so much ;A;

**~renahhchen xoxo**


	13. Look, it's snowing outside

**Sakine Syndrome****  
**Chapter Thirteen

_''Hey, look- it's snowing outside._"

* * *

Kaito's eyes were wide; incredulous. Questions surged through his mind- a thick, heavy, syrupy torrent that stoppered up his mouth and made him choke, more bloody saliva trickling down his chin.

Questions, questions- his mind was full of questions.

But he couldn't voice any of them.

His lips would move, and his mouth would open- but when he tried to formulate words, none came out.

He could only stare.

Meiko...

This girl had the body of Sakine Meiko. It was shorter than her older counterpart, and her hair was slightly lighter- more of a honey color rather than the burnt, brown sugar hue of her normal hair (Kaito only knew the names of those incredibly poetic shades of brown from times he'd spent shopping with Meiko, searching for curtains and carpets in colors other than white to spruce up the Vocaloid household). This Meiko's eyes were just a little wider, her lashes just a little longer, her lips just a little fuller.

Everything about her was 'off'- but only slightly.

She was younger by a few years.

That was all.

Those few years seemed to make a colossal difference when Sakine Meiko smiled blithely with youthful innocence.

And yet the smirk that tugged at Meiko's lips, and her narrowed eyes, did not belong to Sakine Meiko.

That expression did not belong to the girl who had looked at Kaito with misty eyes filled with a love she could't even understand. That expression did not belong to the girl who, so shyly, had offered Kaito home-made cookies. That expression did not belong to the girl whose heart Kaito had _broken_- trampled on- just because Sakine Meiko wasn't the girl he (oh so selfishly) wanted her to be.

And, when Sakine Meiko smirked like that- just like the real Meiko- those few years difference between the younger and older model didn't seem all that significant anymore.

Maybe because she- despite her outward appearance- wasn't Sakine Meiko.

Her expression belonged the other Meiko.

The older Meiko.

Not 'Sakine' Meiko- just...

Just Meiko.

Mei-chan.

Kaito's best friend.

"M-meiko?"

"The one and only," said Meiko, hands on her hips-.

When she smirked at Kaito _just like that_, there was no mistaking it. This was not a dream. Kaito could pinch the skin of his arm, and still Meiko's image did not flicker. It didn't distort, and he didn't wake up.

Kaito had never felt so glad to feel pain, because it meant he wasn't hallucinating.

She was real.

It was...

Really her.

Meiko.

The person he cared about unconditionally, despite her cruel temper, cutting words and equally damaging right hook was stood right before him- and Kaito could only pray she didn't disappear again.

The woman (she wasn't a girl anymore. Sakine Meiko was a girl, a lot like Miku, young and naïve- but the Meiko Kaito knew was mature and responsible and just a little controlling) Kaito cared about more than he really should have done was back.

Meiko was back.

The woman he'd been trying to prise from Sakine Meiko's altered personality with his fingertips, the woman he'd been trying so desperately to reach, had come back to him by herself.

Kaito had tried to 'save' Meiko.

He'd tried to 'save' her because he cared about her.

Because he...

He...

B-but that didn't matter, did it? Kaito hadn't saved her. He'd make a fool out of himself.

And, in the end- just like always (just as it should have been)- Meiko had saved herself.

She was so strong it was… almost blinding…

And Kaito- sprawled on the floor, the cold cutting through his body- suddenly felt very young and childish when compared to the woman standing over him, smirking with Sakine Meiko's body.

Meiko didn't need saving.

Not by anyone.

Certainly not by Kaito.

Blundering, inept, pathetic Bakaito, who couldn't do the simplest of things correctly.

Kaito felt his face flushing, and his stomach gave an unpleasant lurch. Butterflies. Nausea? He'd hit his head pretty hard when he fell- did he have a concussion?

But that didn't explain why he suddenly felt so embarrassed.

Kaito had wanted to be Meiko's 'knight'- like some hero in a ridiculous fairytale (the fairytales Rin always scoffed at, 'yeahhh _**right**_', and Rin's cold comments always made Kaito blush because he found stories like that _romantic- _not 'silly' at all_)._

Kaito had known Meiko was in pain. He'd been able to sense all her hurt and confusion, throbbing at the back of his head- and he'd charged in gallantly to rescue her; arms and legs flying in a blur, his thoughts blurring too-

And for what?

What had he accomplished?

He'd done _nothing._

He'd arrived far too late.

Late for everything.

Stupid Kaito- _**Baka**_ito.

B-but…

...Surely he didn't feel _upset_ that he hadn't been able to save Meiko? Wasn't it a good thing if Meiko had been able to protect herself? Besides, Meiko was far more proficient at self defense than Kaito was. Kaito could barely bring himself to step on ants. How could he have shielded Meiko from any further harm?

He'd been deluding himself.

He was no prince.

Maybe that was why Rin always sniggered at Kaito's fairytale fantasies; because she knew that was all they were (all they'd ever be).

Fantasies.

And… Kaito decided he didn't mind _that_ much that _he_ hadn't been the one to save Meiko- because that was a small, trivial matter. Who had saved whom didn't matter- just so long as Meiko was alright.

Prioritize- he had to prioritize.

But, even so…

Kaito couldn't help but feel embarrassed.

For all his delusions of grandeur- his desperate desire to be the 'hero' (because that role was never assigned to him; lately he'd been the 'villain'- the one who made Sakine Meiko run away in the first place- and he wanted her to forgive him)- here he was.

Kaito was lying on the floor like discarded trash, his coat gathering dirt and his body trembling with cold (he felt so exposed without his trademark scarf), whilst Meiko- the woman he cared about above all else, the woman he'd wanted to protect, the woman he'd wanted to realize he wasn't _completely _useless- stood over him, smirking.

He'd...

He'd messed up pretty badly...

"Alright, stop wallowing in self-pity."

Kaito looked up at Meiko in surprise, his eyes wide.

W-was he really that easy to read...?

Or maybe it was because Meiko had known him so long she didn't even need to 'read' his face; one quick glance, and she knew all the emotions Kaito was feeling- as though she'd downloaded the data from the computer, into her memory bank.

Sakine Meiko wouldn't have known- but the real Meiko did.

Sometimes, it felt as though Meiko could read Kaito's mind. She was incredibly astute; eerily so.

"Don't look so shocked. I know you too well. I can tell you feel all mopey- something pathetic like 'whyyy didn't I save her', right?" said Meiko; and though her words were harsh, she spoke them fondly.

"T-that's not strictly true…"

"You're an awful liar. Idiot."

"I-I'm... not an idiot..." It was an automatic response; Kaito's mouth spoke the words before his brain was aware he'd formed them.

"Yes you are. A complete moron."

Kaito's face flushed an even darker red.

"But..." Meiko paused. And then, she smiled. "You did _try _to help. So I guess you're not a _total_ failure after all. Congratulations."

"M-mei…"

"Of course, 'trying' isn't always good enough. But… don't beat yourself up about it. I know you over think these things- you try so hard to be **nice **it's kinda sickening- but I don't hate you for being your plain ol', kind of lovable klutzy self. It was inevitable you'd never be able to… heh… 'rescue' me. But I don't want a prince. And I don't need one. I just… Heh…" Meiko smiled- and Kaito swore (but maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him) a faint blush had spread across Meiko's cheeks.

S-surely she didn't care about him _that_ much, did she…?

"I don't need a prince. I wouldn't want one. I'd rather have _Kaito_; faults and all. Heheh… A-and believe me, you have a _**lotta **_faults."

Kaito's eyes widened. He looked up at Meiko in surprise, his mouth falling open in a small 'o'; surprise painted across his face. That was the nicest thing Meiko had ever said to him...

A-and there he was, sat on the floor like an idiot.

He didn't deserve it.

He didn't...

H-he didn't deserve her kindness…

"M-mei-chan…" said Kaito- and his lips felt numb with the cold, his mind a broken mess of fragmented thoughts, and he didn't know what to do; what to say (but that wasn't too different from normal). "M-mei-chan, I don't know-"

"Oh, shuddup. Don't get all sappy," said Meiko, rolling her eyes. "Just because you _tried, _you still kinda sorta failed."

"I-I'm sorry..."

"Humph." Meiko frowned, folding her arms. "And you didn't even offer me your coat. What sort of man are you? Can't you tell I'm freezing in this-" Meiko pulled at the hem of her (no, not _her_; Sakine Meiko's) too-short skirt with a frown, "-stupid outfit?"

As Kaito watched Meiko, his eyes slowly filled with realization. He hadn't noticed it before- being far too ensconced in his own guilt and embarrassment- but Meiko's slight frame was trembling slightly. Even with her arms wrapped round her shoulders, she looked frozen, like a human popsicle. Meiko's skin was unhealthily pale- milky white- and... she really was so skinny (like a twig on a tree; something easily breakable- although Kaito knew that wasn't the case at all, and looks were decieving) it was a wonder Meiko hadn't fallen to pieces.

Kaito got to his feet slowly. His body shook almost as forcefully as Meiko's, and he moved like a machine twice his age; old and spluttering, like the Vocaloid family's old computer, before Rin and Len had joined their home and they'd decided to modernize.

Kaito... hadn't noticed Meiko's pain at all.

He'd been so selfish.

Always so _selfish._

Kaito stumbled over thin air as he tried to stand- and this prompted a cruel grin from Meiko.

"Elegant as always, huh, Bakaito?"

Kaito flushed again (why did he always look like such an idiot around Meiko?)- and, head bowed, he pulled off his coat (dirty though it was) and handed it to Meiko.

"...Here. D-don't catch a cold."

"A cold would be the least of my worries. I might catch your stupidity from this," said Meiko teasingly- but she accepted the coat, anyway. She didn't even bother to put her arms in the sleeves. Instead, she draped it around her shoulders; shivering into the warm fabric, and pulling it up to her chin.

"I don't think stupidity is catching."

"Hmn. I hope so- else I'd be a goner by now."

"I-I'm sorry if you feel my coat is sapping your IQ."

"Kaito, listening to you talk for more than two seconds saps my IQ."

"A-ahaha… Y-you're… You're so cruel."

"Nahh. You're just an easy target."

"I-I can't believe I ever even missed _this_," said Kaito- and though his tone was fraught with faux indignation, he couldn't stop himself from smiling.

It was strange and it was bizarre and it was nonsensical- inexplicable- but he **had** missed 'this'.

He had missed talking to Meiko.

The real Meiko.

"Heh~ Well, you're just an idiot, you know? Don't try and question your actions- you'll only give yourself a headache."

"Y-yeah," said Kaito sheepishly, "that happens a lot."

Meiko and Kaito exchanged glances. Meiko's eyes were barely visible above the collar of Kaito's coat.

Meiko...

She looked so cute.

Sakine Meiko's body was adorable, of course; manufactured by Crypton to appeal to the male masses. Her girlish face was made all the more beautiful, though, when coupled with that surly defiance and black humor that belonged to nobody but the real Meiko.

Nobody... was more beautiful than the _real _Meiko.

Not even an 'upgrade'.

Not to Kaito.

He wouldn't have replaced the real Meiko for anything in the world.

And the little bits and pieces of Meiko's true personality forcing themselves through Sakine Meiko's eyes made Kaito's heart stammer in its chest.

"Are you alright, Mei-chan?" asked Kaito softly.

Meiko paused- blinking slowly, as she pondered the question. The silence dragged; but it wasn't an unpleasant silence. Rather... it was comforting. Just a little. Even though Meiko and Kaito were stood in a filthy alleyway strewn with litter that smelt of rot, with the moon rising overhead and broken bottles glittering like star fragments on the floor, Kaito had... Never been so happy.

Was he flustered?

Yes.

Humiliated?

Just a little.

And yet, despite that…

He was happy.

Truly happy.

Even in the most unpleasant of landscapes, Vocaloids- just like human beings- really could find happiness anywhere; if only you knew where to look.

And...

Kaito only had to look at Meiko.

"I'm okay," said Meiko, voice soft. Whilst Kaito couldn't see her facial expression- his thick, obtrusive coat pulled up over her lips- Kaito swore he could hear (or maybe he _hoped_ he could hear) a smile in her words. "It's fine... Now that you're here."

"Y-you care about me that much?"

"Tch. Don't get a swelled head. I only keep you around so I feel better about myself."

"O-of course… It was stupid of me to think otherwise."

"You _are_ stupid."

Never before had an insult sounded so much like a compliment.

"Mei-chan..." Kaito began, voice soft; not wanting to disrupt the peaceful atmosphere that had fallen between them. "What happened?"

He wasn't even sure what he was referring to.

What happened when you were 'remodeled'?

What happened in your head when you realized you might never see us again?

W-what happened to you- the _real _you- when you became Sakine Meiko?

And what happened to make you come back…?

But…

I-it didn't really matter what question Meiko chose to answer; or whether she chose to answer at all. Not right now.

The fact that Meiko was there- with Kaito- was the most important thing to the blue-haired Vocaloid at that moment in time.

Everything else could wait.

Everything.

Even the _world._

Meiko shrugged- her movement masked by Kaito's coat. "It's not important. Some guys came... They wanted to 'show me a good time'." Meiko rolled her eyes in disgust- and Kaito couldn't help but smile at her devil-may-care attitude, chilled by cold and sickened by the prospect of Meiko being hurt as he was. "But I was kind of unwilling to go along with it, and they got pissy, and I got violent- and, well, they'll know next time they're light-years out of _**my**_ league. Then ran off crying, all broken and bruised- like I knew they would do." A derisive snort. "Stupid little boys."

"I feel kind of sorry for any fool who tries to cross you, Mei-chan," said Kaito, smiling.

"Yeah. You'd know better than anyone, huh?"

"I guess so. You've trained me well, Mei-chan~"

The pair began to laugh; softly, at first- but, as relief flooded Kaito (more potent than the cold that tore through his bones and sent him shuddering), their laughter grew louder, until it echoed between them again and again.

Echoing.

Meiko and Kaito's laughter multiplied, over and over- and, Kaito thought (perhaps with a little too much sentiment; and maybe it was silly) that this laughter was a way of making up for the miserable times during the past month.

Laughter had been… so sparse in the Vocaloid house hold since Meiko left.

Kaito had almost forgotten how to smile.

When he'd looked at the old photographs of himself, sat on the beach with Rin or playing video games with Len or carting Miku round on his back, he'd been smiling so brightly it burnt- but Kaito had been unable to smile back.

He'd…

He'd lost the ability.

When he lost Meiko- he lost the capacity to be happy.

But he could remember now.

Meiko was teaching him how to smile again.

As the pair continued to laugh- sharing the moment (sharing the happiness)- Kaito couldn't help but think (though it was terribly sappy and hackneyed and romantic, and Rin would've laughed herself silly to hear it) that Meiko was giving him something-

And he was giving Meiko something in return.

Relief.

Laughter.

Friendship.

Maybe something more.

Something that made Kaito's cheeks turn light red, like a school girl in a shojo manga.

"Hey. Look."

Kaito watched Meiko as the brunette pointed up towards the sky. Swamped by Kaito's coat, she looked younger than she was- younger than she should have been, for she was still trapped in Sakine Meiko's body, with that light brown hair and those lighter eyes.

But she was still _Meiko._

She was the girl Kaito knew and lo- li… liked so much once more…

But… for how long…?

He had to make this moment count.

He might never see her again.

Kaito's eyes followed Meiko's pointing finger- staring up at the sky...

And then he shuddered, as something cold and wet dripped against his cheek; slid down his face in a strange parody of tears. Almost as if he were crying.

Crying from laughter…

Or crying from the sudden, inexplicable sadness that welled up inside his chest?

Sadness for himself.

And sadness for Sakine Meiko, too- because she'd been a distinctly different human to the real 'Meiko', with her own personality and her own hopes and dreams; and what had happened to her?

She…

She didn't even get a funeral.

Robots never did.

M-maybe she wasn't even dead.

The 'tears' were ice cold; and that wasn't the last one.

There were more of them. More and more- until Kaito began to think somebody had poked the sky in its eye, and it was crying (a childish metaphor- but it seemed to sum up the indistinct icy flakes drifting through the air perfectly).

Kaito's eyes widened.

Somehow, it seemed too perfect.

Too fitting.

Pathetic fallacy only happened in novels, not in- never in- real life… Right…?

"I-it's... It's snowing..." Kaito said- his voice hushed with awed wonder.

Like the sky was crying.

Crying for a girl who'd never had a chance to be alive- because the world (because Kaito) hadn't let her.

Sakine Meiko…

…Where was she now?

Meiko nodded- and turned to look at Kaito's disbelieving face with a small smile; the collar of Kaito's coat pulled down so the lower half of her face was revealed. Her cheeks were flushed slightly in pleasure, and her lashes were spiky- damp with falling snow.

Meiko...

She looked so beautiful; especially when her pale frame was superimposed against the dark blue sky and the falling snow.

She hardly even looked real.

Like a scene from a movie- or a dream.

But Kaito had already pinched his cheek- and he knew he wasn't dreaming.

Not this time.

Meiko smiled- snow catching in her hair- with her hands behind her back, and blinked up at Kaito with such a look of unabashed happiness Kaito's heart caught in his chest.

Happiness...

Was it really okay to be happy?

What about Sakine Meiko?

B-but…

But when Meiko smiled like that- it felt like Kaito's worries and his confusion and his pain was all being washed away; run down the drain like water from the shower, or snowflakes melting on the earth.

When Meiko next spoke, her voice was strangely warm.

"Happy Christmas, Kaito. I hope you get what you wished for~"

...And maybe, thought Kaito...

Maybe...

...He already had.

* * *

_...But what about Sakine Meiko?_

* * *

"Huh. Seems like a weird place for a romantic encounter," said Rin, pulling a face.

"The place doesn't matter- it's the people involved," said Miku, pressing a finger against her lips- trying to shush the blonde.

Rin, Len and Miku were peering at Kaito and Meiko from behind a conveniently placed wall. The trio had encountered Meiko and Kaito only a few minutes after Kaito broke free from their group and made a dash for it- and, as such, they'd witnessed the whole scene. It was if they were watching a TV drama, and Rin wished (maybe it was a little insensitive, but she thought Kaito's sheer dumbassery was quality entertainment) she had a bucket of popcorn to chomp on whilst she watched her big brother and big sister build bridges; make amends- forgive each other.

"Even so, none of my dating sims let you take your girls into dirty alleyways," said Rin, pouting. "It smells really bad, too!"

"Rin, you don't have a single romantic bone in your body, do you?" asked Len.

"Mmnope!~"

"...You're a sad, loveless child, aren't you Rinny?"

"Nobody asked you, you stupid shota~"

"D-don't flick me in the forehead, Rin! T-that really hurt!"

"Suck it up and be a man!"

"Maybe I will, when you start acting more like a real woman!"

"Sexist!"

"You _started_ it!"

"Oh, and if Mr. Amazing Awesome Len-Len-Pants is sooo cool, why did you FINISH it?"

"T-that's not fair-"

"Life isn't!"

"Guys, shut up!" Miku shushed the quarreling Kagamines, flapping her hands at Rin and Len. "I'm trying to watch the romantic development!"

Rin blinked at Miku slowly.

Then, she pulled a face.

"You are _such_ a weirdo."

"Shut up."

* * *

**a/n: **S-s-so cutesy I don't even :D  
I hope it's a decent payoff for all the anngst and angrish that occurred before.  
There are many things that ~still~ need to be resolved though, like the problem of Sakine Mei-chan and normal Mei-chan, so please stay tuned for the ~final resolution~ (that sounds rather ominous lol XDD)  
I think there are two chapters left XP

**~renahhchen xoxo**


	14. Don't leave me here

**Sakine Syndrome****  
**Chapter Fourteen

_''Don't leave me here_"

* * *

_H-hey..._

_What's going on?_

_W-where am I...?_

_I-it's so dark... I-I can barely see a thing..._

_It's cold, too._

_That's… kind of strange, actually. Why do 'cold' and 'dark' go hand-in-hand like that? In novels, and in movies, it's rarely __**just **__'cold' or __**just **__'dark'; they seem to happen together an awful lot._

_W-why do unhappy, unpleasant things always have to occur in a string- one after another?_

_Is that just how 'life' is?_

_...It was cold and dark when I was born, too._

_Before I opened my eyes._

_I-it feels like it happened a long time ago- but it wasn't _that_ long ago, not really..._

_I can still remember, with absolute clarity, the white walls... white ceiling... the people drifting about me in white coats; ethereal, somehow, like mist or ghosts. There were wires in my arms- lots of wires, a thick knot of blue and red and yellow cables, and I couldn't even guess what they all did or what they were for. Maybe they kept me 'alive'. There were lots of bright lights everywhere, too- they hurt my eyes, blinded me, and when I blinked spots of white lit up behind my eyelids. It smelt sterile; everything looked so clean- a-and I could hardly understand what everybody was saying; human speech melded together in an excited blur, a mumble of voices- distortion- static…_

_Nonsense._

Nothing.

_It was cold, and when I closed my eyes it was dark- but when I opened them it was too bright- a-and I couldn't move, not even my fingertips or my toes. I could only blink. It felt like my whole body was frozen- from the inside; to the core._

_I didn't know what I was doing there, and I was scared._

_I-I..._

_It's..._

_A lot like that now._

_I-I'm not in the lab- not anymore._

_I know I'm not in the lab._

_They tore the wires from my body and draped some bed sheets round my naked body. Then, they helped me to my feet- I was trembling; the tiled floor was glacial underneath my bare skin- ice needling through my toes. They took me to that strange metal box; an 'elevator'. I knew what it was before they explained it to me- a-and I could name other things, too. Floors. Walls. Ceiling._

_But I didn't know who I was, and they wouldn't tell me._

_Master told me, though._

_When the people in white deposited me in that room, I was scared. A-always so scared... My surroundings seemed familiar, but I'd never seen them before. A spacious office. It was white, too. The floor was so reflective I could an upside-down version of me with blurred edges, who met my brown-eyed stare with one of her own._

_She looked small._

_Weak._

_And afraid._

_That small, weak, afraid, trembling girl- eyes too wide, hair messy, holes punctured in her skin from wires and cables with bed sheets draped round her shoulders- didn't belong in such a grand office. The floors were polished until they shone like precious stones, and the metal sculptures in the corner shimmered under the artificial lighting with a deadly grace- all pointed edges and smooth chrome. There were a few plants in the corner of the room, and a smaller one of a large desk, but the natural greenery looked... out of place..._

_Everything else about the room was synthetic._

_Even..._

_Even me._

_The white walls were decorated with paintings, photographs- all of the same girl. She was beautiful, with turquoise hair pulled back into two long pigtails- and she looked so bright, so happy, and so completely __**aware **__of her place in the world, that she made me feel inadequate. In one photograph she wore a pink skirt and flowery hair slides, standing under an umbrella. In another she was wearing an ornate white dress, more flowers in her hair- black and red this time- and a haughty expression was on her pretty face. In another, she was attired in black and turquoise, screaming into a similarly colored megaphone in her tight, white-knuckled grip._

_That girl made me feel even smaller than I already was..._

_That girl looked so __**confident.**_

_B-but I felt so lost and small- like a fish caught in a net._

_I-it was then that I turned- tearing my eyes from the beautiful pictures- and I saw __**him.**_

_The man who greeted me wore a warm smile, infused with kindness; real kindness. He told me to take a seat- and I couldn't. I felt so overwhelmed by how beautiful his office was I could only stand there, feeling more and more inadequate by the second- but he only laughed. He told me I shouldn't be scared- I shouldn't be alarmed. He wasn't going to bite me... A-and then he laughed again, as though he'd made a hilarious joke- but I couldn't smile. It felt like my lips had frozen in place._

_He told me everything._

_He told me who he was._

_Who the pretty girl with turquoise hair was._

_And then he told me who he expected __**me**__ to be._

_Sakine Meiko._

_Crypton's new idol._

* * *

_Sakine Meiko._

_T-that's something to cling on to, right?_

_The name doesn't sound foreign on my lips. It suits me._

_It's me._

_At least..._

_I-I think it is._

_Is it…?_

_I..._

_I don't know..._

_I-it's who Master wants me to be- and I owe Master so much. H-how could I disobey him?_

_B-but..._

_Is that who _everybody else_ wants me to be, too?_

_W-who is 'everybody', anyway?_

_..._

_M-my family._

_Right?_

_What do they want?_

_...What do I want?_

_I-I don't know..._

_M-maybe they'd be happy if I didn't exist at all._

_Maybe _I'd_ be happy if I didn't exist at all. I felt out of place in Master's office. The turquoise eyes of that beautiful girl were on me the whole time- and I couldn't concentrate. I knew Master wanted me to be like her- be like Miku- but… That was a little like telling a small, lonely rock drifting in space it had to become a planet just like Jupiter._

_The goal- becoming a 'famous diva' like Miku- was much too lofty for me._

_I-I felt out of place there, and I feel out of place now..._

_I-is there a 'place' for me at all?_

_W-what does Master want?_

_What do my family want?_

_And..._

_What do __**I **__want?_

* * *

_It's so dark and lonely here._

_I'm..._

_I'm scared..._

_I-I..._

_I..._

_...H-huh?_

_I-it..._

_Something cold- n-no, something _freezing_- just brushed my cheek. L-like a pin pricking flesh, something's digging through my skin- sliding through the sensitive wires..._

_T-tears?_

_...No._

_Tears aren't cold. They're warm._

_H-he taught me that._

_He taught me that when he made me cry._

_H-he doesn't want me..._

_None of them want me._

_But even so..._

_I-I can't stop thinking. I can't stop_ feeling_. My existence is making them miserable- b-but I can't stop now..._

_T-they're not tears._

_I'll look up..._

_I'll open my eyes-_

_A-and..._

_All the darkness will disappear._

* * *

_Snow._

_It's snowing…?_

* * *

_The snow spirals through the air- and it looks so pretty at first it takes my breath away. But its beauty doesn't last for long. It's weak- it can't support itself- and it melts away when it lands the ground. Snowflakes are born so frail, so fragile- and when those dainty snowflakes touch the earth (or touch human fingertips; melt in my hair; gather on my nose, cheeks, even eyelashes), it disappears._

_Gone forever._

_Washing away... into oblivion..._

_B-but I'm not like the snow._

_I won't disappear._

_N-not so easily._

* * *

She wouldn't disappear.

Because she was selfish.

Horribly selfish.

And she was scared.

She didn't want to die.

* * *

A horrible, sharp pain exploded in Meiko's head; blooming like a flower, opening its petals and revealing something blood red.

Agonizing.

Fear and confusion and grief and guilt- a plethora of emotions that belonged to another girl- drove themselves through Meiko's skull like lethal shards of glass. There were no kind emotions in there; no warmth or happiness. These feelings were all jagged edges and barbed wire; a desperate plea for help from a dying girl.

A girl trying to cling onto her futile existence with the very tips of her fingers.

And everything else around her was washing away.

Sakine Meiko had been pushed aside, broken-hearted, driven to tears and crushed under the weight of her own miserable existence like a bug. She'd begun to doubt herself- doubt everything- and that doubt very nearly killed her.

And yet...

It _hadn't._

Sakine Meiko had curled up on herself; both physically, in the grimy alleyway, and mentally, inside her own head. But she hadn't _died._

After all, you couldn't die from a broken heart.

With a gasp of pain- pain that didn't belong to her, but somebody else- Meiko felt her knees collapse from underneath her. She fell gracelessly; her body falling, feeling strangely heavy, as though it were made from granite. Meiko's knees hit the floor awkwardly, a jarring pain shooting through her body as skin was bitten into by broken glass and dirt seeped into the open wounds. Blood splattered the floor; small, sticky, crimson droplets as though they'd been left by a pipette in a science laboratory.

But the pain in Meiko's knees paled in comparison to the crushing headache that split apart her skull.

T-two people couldn't fit into one brain-

_"N-no! I don't want to die!"_

-not like that;

_"I-it's so cold and dark!"_

never like that.

_"... ...I-I'm scared... I... I..."_

Sobbing.

It took Meiko a few seconds to realize the pained gasps coming from her mouth belonged to her.

But... were they truly hers- or were they the other girl's?

Meiko didn't know.

But they only had one body.

And Meiko supposed maybe... she was crying for both of them.

"Mei-chan! M-mei-chan..."

Meiko blinked up at Kaito in alarm. He was bent over her, eyes swimming with worry, whilst his arms encircled her trembling body; trying to play the role of a prince. Trying to comfort her.

How…

How _cute._

It was completely pointless, of course, because Kaito was an inept fool; so clumsy he constantly fell over his own feet- and an elephant on ice skis probably had better coordination than him.

But…

Without those traits (those traits Meiko hated- and yet, at the same time, made her smile when she thought nobody was looking) Kaito simply wouldn't be Kaito anymore.

And Meiko wouldn't like him half as much as she did.

Even though he was an idiot.

Kaito's coat had slipped from Meiko's shoulders, and Meiko hadn't realized- despite the fact her whole body was shuddering- just how cold it was. The snowflakes had looked so beautiful before, but now they seemed almost deadly- pressing icy kisses against Meiko's skin; chilling her to the bone. Meiko didn't want to- she didn't want to seek comfort from that _idiot _(it would completely ruin her image)- but... she couldn't help herself...

So, saying goodbye to her pride, she allowed herself to lean into Kaito's embrace just a little bit more.

Hugging Kaito didn't change much.

It didn't really change anything.

The awkward embrace wasn't _comfortable_. Kaito's hair was brushing against the side of Meiko's face, irritating her- and she had half a mind to take a pair of scissors to it (when the last time Kaito had gotten his hair cut…?). His arms were curled round her body just a little too tightly, with a little too much force- and it was beginning to seem likely he'd crush all the bones in her body (wouldn't that be ironic if, in his attempts to 'protect' her, he hurt her even more? Stupid Kaito; he couldn't do _anything _right). Pain still laced through Meiko's knees; shards of glass and dirt embedded into skin- and Kaito's hug, pressing her close against his chest, didn't offer all that much warmth.

She was... still… freezing...

By this point, Meiko didn't know whether it was her or the _other _her who was leaning into Kaito's hug so desperately- and when she wrapped her arms round Kaito's waist, she didn't know who was doing it.

Was it her?

Or was it Sakine?

Her head hurt _terribly _in a haze of pain; a horrible, relentless ache that just wouldn't **stop.**

It wouldn't **shut up.**

Kaito was trembling, too (it was hard to tell)- and their pain was linked; so maybe he was shuddering from same intense ripping, tearing, clawing sensation that engulfed Meiko's mind…

C-could Kaito feel it too?

It didn't seem fair that he had to suffer her pain, too.

He was only trying to help.

Even if his presence was fairly ineffectual, he was still trying; Kaito always _tried._

The two Vocaloids sat there under the falling snow, pulled together like magnets; and Meiko half wanted to pull away, but she didn't have the energy, and besides, being cared about felt...

Nice.

_Comforting._

Even by an idiot like Kaito.

Maybe...

Because it was Kaito.

"Y-you're crushing my ribs, i-idiot."

"S-sorry..."

But, although Kaito's face flushed light pink, he didn't let go. Meiko didn't think he could. Like a withered, dying sapling, tied to a stick for support, Kaito couldn't pull away. But neither could she; and by this point Meiko didn't even know who was supporting who.

Maybe they were_ both_ dying saplings leant against each other.

Or maybe it didn't matter.

"K-kaito... D-don't delude yourself," said Meiko, voice soft; softer than usual (she could hardly hear herself above the sobbing and screaming in her own head; _I-I don't want to die!_). "Y-you're no Prince Charming."

"I know. I'm clumsy and forgetful and not very strong- and you're... You're so much stronger than me..."

"And more intelligent."

"T-that too."

"And prettier."

"Ahaha... Y-you're a lot _crueler _than me, Mei-chan."

"But of course~"

At this Kaito gave another soft, significantly more broken laugh- and Meiko returned it, even though they were both were shaking like leaves in the wind, snow catching in their hair and the wind tugging at their clothes, and it wasn't all that funny at all- not _really._

Meiko and Kaito laughed...

The dying girl in Meiko's brain cried out in fear and pain.

Trapped.

Sakine Meiko was caged inside an alien body that wasn't hers (it should have been, but it wasn't- not anymore); assaulted from all sides by the feelings of another woman who'd been there long before Sakine's personality began to take root.

But most of those roots had been ripped out now- bleeding as they were torn from soil and thrown aside.

Sakine Meiko was slowly dying.

But she was still there.

Still choking, gasping- struggling for breath inside Meiko's head.

Drowning.

_It's so dark and cold in here..._

_C-can anybody hear me?_

_Anybody... ...?_

"You might be better than me at... lots of things, Mei-chan. Most things," said Kaito, his head resting atop of Meiko's. "But... B-but you still need a friend. I-I'll... I'll always be there for you."

"Always, huh...? That's quite a big promise for an irresponsible guy like _you_."

"I-I don't want to hurt you again..."

"That's very... noble," said Meiko, after a small pause.

Then, Meiko began to move; slowly, as though she were underwater, and her movements were labored. Her breath came out in short gasps- puffs of air dancing through the sky. Without pushing Kaito away from her- without uncoiling herself from his comforting (more comforting than it had any right to be) hug, Meiko's eyes found Kaito's.

Brown on blue.

Anguish and confusion and promises and pain and something else...

Something _more._

What could Kaito see when he looked in Meiko's eyes, she wondered.

Did he see only the older Meiko; the Meiko he knew?

Or could he catch a glimpse of Sakine Meiko in there, struggling to escape?

"But..." Meiko continued, voice soft; looking up at Kaito from under her eyelashes. "It was never _me_ that you hurt. It was... the other girl."

"M-mei-chan-"

Meiko smiled gently- and then, with trembling fingers, she prodded Kaito in the cheek. He felt cold to touch; or maybe the cold came from her own fingers, which felt frozen.

"I could never forgive a guy who made a girl cry. And... S-she's... Crying right now..."

"S-she's still there?"

"Yeah... O-or I'm going insane." Meiko gave a small, humorless laugh- though it wasn't really that funny. "Crypton did a pretty good job 'upgrading' me, right? They don't let their creations die off so easily- even if they want to self-terminate themselves. She… she sounds… really miserable. I-it's _depressing._ I've always hated sappy TV dramas- but this is a drama I can't shut up or shut off."

"But _you're_ still here." Kaito's eyes flicked over Meiko's body. She was trembling in his arms like a baby bird. Kaito hoped he could comfort her- hoped he could still be some 'prince' figure- but he knew he was shaking just as much as she was.

He wasn't 'strong'.

He wasn't 'brave'.

But, at that moment- they could both be scared together.

They could be lost and frightened, like young children, and...

And that was okay, too.

Because at least they had each other.

They could share each other's pain and fear and confusion- and, when it all came down to it, they could share their friendship, too.

They weren't alone.

"You're still here," Kaito said again- voice desperate. "You're here, right, Mei-chan? The real... you?"

Meiko nodded. "I'm here... L-like I said, Crypton don't let their creations die off so easily. But the other one... She's in a lot of pain."

"M-my fault?"

"I guess so- but that's not_** it**_. Geez, Bakaito~" Meiko smiled again- prodding Kaito in the cheek with a little more force this time. "Don't be so arrogant. Like _you _could ever make somebody feel so upset. People don't get so upset over _one _thing- and one thing is certainly never just _you. _There are lots of factors all combined together."

Kaito's eyes were downcast. "But I still contributed to it... I… I was so… stupid…"

"You were."

Kaito flinched as though he'd been hit- his whole body shuddering.

Meiko sighed. He really was an idiot. Why did Kaito try to take the blame for everything? Wasn't it enough that he was sorry? Why did he have to torture himself?

"But it's okay," said Meiko, voice determined. "You're trying to redeem yourself."

"I-I... I..." Kaito's face flushed. He looked down at the floor- suddenly embarrassed. Overwhelming guilty. But... He soon felt fingertips underneath his chin; and his gaze was guided, not by his own will, but by Meiko's icy fingers, as she tilted his head.

Their eyes met again.

Meiko was grinning.

"If I was feeling any better I'd kick your ass, just so you could feel a little less guilty about hurting me. Or… some strange variant of 'me', anyway. But I'm not in the mood. You can try and redeem yourself in another way. I'll give you another chance."

Kaito blinked. His breath caught in his chest.

They were... so close...

Noses almost bumping.

Their cheeks flushed.

And then-

Meiko pulled away.

Got to her feet.

And then Meiko pointed a finger in Kaito's direction- whilst Kaito nearly fell forwards on his face; flushing, and trying to calm his erratic heartbeat.

Trying to hide his disappointment.

"Call Crypton for me," said Meiko. "I didn't bring a cell phone; but I have something I want to discuss with my 'darling' Master _very _much."

Kaito could only blink up at her in confusion- his fingers slowly (ever so slowly) pressing against his lips; reveling in the half-formed dream of a kiss which had never actually happened.

_Pathetic..._

He was so pathetic.

"And call a cab while you're at it," said Meiko, folding her arms, tapping her foot on the ground. "I don't wanna walk _allll _the way over to the Crypton building in the snow and ruin my hair even more. No, hmn... Actually."

Meiko smiled.

"Make that _two _cabs. I think we've got some unwanted family members spying on us- and I'm sure they'll be very interested to hear what I have to say to Master, too."

"E-eep!" said Miku, sticking her head round the corner of the wall with a guilty look on her face. One of her twin tails trailed on the floor, gathering dirt- but she seemed not to notice. "H-how did you know...?"

Meiko sighed.

"Let's just say you're not as 'subtle' with your eavesdropping as you might think."

Miku turned to glare sourly at Rin.

"Maybe, if you could stop insulting Len for five seconds, Mei-chan wouldn't have known."

"So it's some terrible sin if I insult poor, precious Len-Len, but it's A-OK if the great Hatsune Miku resorts to stalking? That's nice to know~"

"I-I wasn't _stalking _anybody! I was stood in the same place!" said Miku, cheeks flushing. It rare to see her get so frustrated; and Meiko suspected guilt played a large factor in her red face.

"Okay. You weren't 'stalking', but you were still spying~" said Rin, grinning. Rin didn't just press people's buttons; oh no. She slammed her fists against the control board until half the buttons broke off. "You're the worst kind of person, Miku-nee-chan!"

"S-shut up!"

Miku's face was bright red.

* * *

**a/n: **Yay happy desu stuff :D  
It takes ~sooo~ long for anything to happen in my fics I don't even. Which is prolly why this fic will be a ~teeensy~ bit longer than I planned, eheh XD It's nearly over but there's so much ~stuff~ left to do! :

This fic is to similar to sugar coated accident. This is disappointing XDD;;

**~renahhchen xoxo**


	15. Let's make a vow

**Sakine Syndrome****  
**Chapter Fifteen

_''Let's make a vow_"

* * *

The taxi ride to the Crypton building was nothing short of painful, for several reasons. Rin, Len and Miku had all piled into a car separate from Meiko and Kaito, as there wasn't enough room in one cab for the motley collection of Vocaloids.

However, even with one cab all to themselves, Rin, Len and Miku were finding it difficult to cope. Miku's overly long twin tails and Rin's ridiculously over-sized ribbon took up most of the space in the back seat. Like pouring water into a container, Miku's hair seemed to spread out, until it completely filled any enclosed object. If a scientist (any scientist- not necessarily one from Crypton) had cared to study the bizarre phenomenon of Miku's hair, they probably could have written an entire thesis about it.

Poor Len found himself wedged between Rin and Miku. Len didn't want to sit in the middle of the two girls, however; and he wasn't enchanted with the idea of a 'harem' (could two people constitute as a 'harem'?) between his annoying twin and the teal-haired girl who was practically his other sister. However, Rin hadn't let Len sit in the front seat as he'd desired; spouting something along the lines of how 'in a crisis, we need to keep our family bonds, Len-Len! We need to stick together!'

That was all fine and good, but if Rin's definition of 'family bonds' meant being poked in the face every three seconds by her oversized ribbon, Len wasn't sure he liked it. Then again, Len already knew not to argue with Rin- for fear she would behead him. And so Len had accepted his punishment- of being the poor Kagamine Len flavored filling between Rin and Miku- with no complaints.

That didn't mean he had to like the situation he was in, though.

A lot of guys probably would've traded their spleens for a chance to get so close to Hatsune and Kagamine Rin. Kagamine Len, however- instead of finding it a gratifying, or indeed pleasant, experience- was incredibly uncomfortable. Len had to mutter apologies at Rin and Miku so often whenever his hands caught on Rin's bow or he sat on Miku's hair it was a wonder his vocal chords didn't just wear away. Rin's (actually, Kaito's) bulky coat was a problem, too. Whilst Rin was very slight and lithe, that coat seemed to double the diameter of her waist somehow- which made little sense, considering Kaito wasn't exactly large, either.

Of course, the idea of an unattractive Vocaloid was nothing short of stupid. If you could create a synthetic human being, why not make them perfect?

Crypton had designed each and every member of the Vocaloid family with 'loving' care, ensuring they all had separate color palettes, pretty faces, and desirable bodies. Rin sometimes wondered if it was even possible for her to get any larger, or if some band had been fitted into her stomach to prevent unwanted weight gain. Was there a sensor, a chip, embedded into her mind that controlled what she ate? Rin didn't know- and she didn't like being manipulated.

To test her theory, Rin had tried to eat as much chocolate as possible in under an hour- not because she liked chocolate (oranges were better), but because she was truly interested to see if she could gain any weight. But, no matter what Rin ate and how little exercise she did, the numbers that flashed on their scales whenever she stepped on them never changed- to the point where even owning any scales seemed ridiculous, if they were always going to show the same result.

Just as Vocaloids did not age, they didn't seem to gain weight, either.

They were perpetually trapped, in stasis; unchanging.

Crypton... really did have a lot of control over them.

They were dolls in a play house; participants in a never-ending drama, and the script kept changing as they sung new songs- but the Vocaloids themselves could never change.

They would always remain the same.

But Rin didn't much like being a doll.

She didn't like doing the same things expected of her over and over again; and perhaps she'd been programmed to have a rebellious streak (and maybe her grand ideas of rebellion didn't matter all that much), but Kagamine Rin didn't always want to listen to her Master.

She didn't just want to be a Vocaloid- an empty-headed diva who sang pretty poppy ballads about owning a 'heart'.

She truly wanted to have a 'heart'.

And she wanted to be her own person.

Rin wanted to do something for her family- not just for the company who made her.

And she wanted to be her own person.

As Kagamine Rin pondered this- the memories of stomach pains and chocolate staining her fingertips and Len's 'don't-act-so-surprised-of-course-you've-got-a-stomach-ache-you-ate-like-your-body-weight-in-chocolate-you-idiot' sigh coming back to her- she began to wonder if there was any hope for Meiko at all...

If Crypton didn't want her- if Crypton intended to scrap her- then could the Vocaloids really fight back?

Dolls couldn't fight back against their masters…

But Rin didn't want to be like that anymore.

Rin wouldn't give up.

She loved Meiko, and she wouldn't let Master destroy her. If all the Vocaloids joined together and fought for Meiko's sake, Master could hardly refuse, could he? The Vocaloids generated money for Crypton; Miku especially, but Rin and Len sometimes knocked her off her pedestal in the charts when they sang their famous duets or story-based songs.

Just as the Vocaloids needed Master to be alive, Master needed _them. _It was a two-way system; and each component was co-dependant on the other. Affecting one side would affect the whole balance.

And Master could hardly uninstall _all _the Vocaloids.

The Vocaloids were a lot stronger together.

A family.

Whilst Rin's stomach felt uneasy, queasy, as the taxi sped over bumps in the ground and Len's elbows jostled her side, Rin knew she wouldn't give up. Kagamine Rin_** never**_ gave up- the words weren't in her dictionary; and she would steam roller towards victory no matter what.

She wasn't going to be manipulated anymore.

And she wanted her big sister back.

"Mii-chan. Len-Len," said Rin. She used cute, childish nicknames, but her tone of voice was steely. "Let's give this our all, right?"

"Of course. We're Vocaloids- we give _everything_ our all!" said Miku, her eyes sparkling.

"Let's help Mei-chan," said Len.

The three Vocaloids looked at one another- Rin's bow drooping like an un-watered plant, Len's elbow buried in the vast expanse of Rin's coat, and Miku's long twin tails spiraling under Len's thigh so Miku couldn't move her head; pinning the turquoise-haired Vocaloid in place, her head pulled at an awkward angle.

But that didn't matter- because they were all together.

It wasn't funny, not really, and the situation was so serious it was a wonder they didn't drown in the heavy waves of pessimism that threatened to engulf them all. They were only robots, not humans- and Crypton held so much control over them. They were dolls in a doll house; singers on a stage- and they shouldn't have been real human beings.

Their feelings didn't hold that much worth.

Not to Master.

…But…

Even so...

They couldn't help but smile.

This was another adventure.

An adventure that the Vocaloid family was going to face together.

They were going to save Meiko.

Even if it killed them.

* * *

Kaito could only watch Meiko with fear splashed across his face. He'd never felt more hopeless- not even when he forgot the lines to his songs in concerts and had to ad lib, or when Rin pinned him down and painted his nails.

Even if he offered to embrace Meiko, it wouldn't help.

It wouldn't heal her.

And Kaito couldn't _do _anything.

Well… Hahaha…

Like **that** was anything new.

Kaito was _used_ to be being completely ineffectual.

Meiko's face was taught with pain. Her fingertips pressed against her head as though she were trying to tear at her own skin- claw the myriad of confused thoughts of her own skull. She was trembling, too, even though the inside of the taxi was fairly warm. Her body spasmed every time the taxi hit an imperfection in the road, and every so often a small, cat-like hiss escaped her pursed lips.

It looked as though an actual _war _was being raged inside her mind.

Her head was being torn apart like tissue paper.

And Kaito couldn't help her.

The only way Kaito could have lessened Meiko's pain would've been if he took a rock to her head and tried to knock her unconscious- or tried to pull all the thoughts of her head with his own fingers; picking her skull apart until it was reduced to smashed bone and oozing brain. However, the mere thought of doing such a thing made Kaito feel incredibly guilty- and also rather sick.

Sick to his stomach.

He could have sooner flown to the moon than hurt Meiko.

It was…

Impossible.

And yet, despite Kaito's concern for Meiko, there was something else- something darker- stewing inside Kaito's head.

He...

Didn't know what to do.

And he didn't know how to feel.

About Meiko.

About Sakine Meiko.

About Crypton.

About _himself._

Kaito was elated that the real Meiko had returned, of _course_ he was. She was his best friend. Kaito cared about her more than he cared to admit (more than he ever could admit, because Kaito was sure, if he made his feelings known, Meiko would kick him). They were the 'original' Japanese Vocaloids- and they'd always been together. Rin and Len might have been tentative 'twins' with their strange sibling-y bond, but Meiko and Kaito had been a pair for even longer.

When Meiko left, it felt as though Kaito had lost part of himself- as though one of his lungs had been torn out from his body, or half his body torn away. Even before the Vocaloids had been popular- before Miku had arrived and flipped everything upside down in a shower of turquoise pigtails and her bright superstar diva smiles- Meiko and Kaito had lived together, struggling through day to day life with little money and fewer fans; but it had been okay, because they weren't alone, and they could keep on going _together._

Meiko Sakine changed that.

She split them apart.

But they were together again now; they'd been reunited- just like something from a cheesy romance movie.

The villain had gone.

But…

Sakine Meiko wasn't the 'real' villain. People (not even human-based robots) were as black and white as movies presented- and the motives, emotions, and all the base building blocks that stacked up together to make a human being (or Vocaloid) ensured no one person was irredeemably cruel.

You couldn't split people up into 'good' and 'evil' like that.

Kaito would be lying if he said he wasn't happy- because he was.

And yet, at the same time...

Kaito didn't know how he felt about Sakine Meiko.

Kaito supposed, at one point, he really _had_ hated her- or, if it hadn't been 'hate' (Kaito wasn't sure if he could actually 'hate' anybody), it had been something similar. In his eyes, Sakine Meiko had tried to steal the other Meiko away- even if she hadn't been aware of it, and even if it wasn't Sakine Meiko's fault.

But her existence had been painful.

_Horribly_ painful.

And that made her- in Kaito's eyes- a 'villain'.

Sakine Meiko had been planted inside Meiko's old body and given Meiko's old name- but she _**wasn't**_ Meiko, she_ wasn't_ the girl Kaito cared about, and it felt like she was pretending to be something she wasn't and _never would be_; so why did she keep on trying?

Every time Sakine Meiko looked up at Kaito with her uneasy smile and her heart filled with love, Kaito had flinched.

The real Meiko _never_ looked at him like that.

Sakine Meiko hadn't even been a person in Kaito's eyes. Instead, she'd been a horrible, painful reminder that the old Meiko was gone- and every glance, every touch, every single time Sakine Meiko's heart pumped more electric blood through her artificial body and complex circuitry, Kaito felt another jolt of pain stab through his chest.

Sakine Meiko just _wasn't Meiko._

And it was easy to hate Sakine Meiko for this- for stealing the other Meiko's body, like a parasite, a pest, a leech- but... it wasn't her fault.

Sakine Meiko had never asked to be created.

And Sakine Meiko had never asked the take the old Meiko's place.

She wasn't a cruel, heartless monster.

She was an ordinary girl.

And it wasn't her fault.

If anybody deserved to take the blame, it was Crypton.

But Kaito was a Vocaloid, and he couldn't hate Crypton; he couldn't hate his Master. Kaito had been half-afraid to think rebellious thoughts in case Master terminated him.

Kaito... was always afraid.

That fear came with being a robot- of having a tenuous existence; and that fear was amplified with Kaito, because he wasn't popular enough to really _matter._

Master held so much power over the Vocaloid family, from how they lived to how they died, and Kaito was only a robot; an **unpopular** robot. He was expendable. He didn't _matter._ Miku could probably have afforded to be disobedient- but not Kaito.

Kaito couldn't.

If Kaito valued his life (which he did), he _**couldn't**_ hate Master.

So he didn't.

At least, not openly.

It was far, far easier to hate Sakine Meiko instead.

Even though he disliked her for something she'd never done.

Sakine Meiko was a person too. If she hadn't occupied the real Meiko's body- if she hadn't been an 'upgrade'- Kaito was sure he'd have liked her. She would have been another younger sister, just like Miku; and Kaito would have smiled at her, and Sakine Meiko would have smiled back, and everything... would have been fine.

He would have eaten the cookies she strived so hard to make, and he would have enjoyed them; he was sure he would.

But life wasn't like that.

And Kaito knew, if he had to choose between the old Meiko and Sakine Meiko...

He would chose the old Meiko.

His best friend.

But that was unfair, wasn't it? Sakine Meiko was still a person- she still _mattered_; and, deep down, she was just a lonely, confused girl, who'd never been given a chance. She'd been brought into a world of white coats and wires and she'd been_ scared_- Kaito had been scared, too, when he first awoke- and Master had pushed her into the Vocaloid family before she could object.

Sakine Meiko had looked at her family members for help.

For 'love'.

But she hadn't received any.

Whenever the other Vocaloids looked at Sakine Meiko, they only saw the ghost of the old Meiko.

It wasn't _fair._

It was cruel.

And it had torn Sakine Meiko apart.

But...

It was _inevitable._

Sakine Meiko had been destined for misery- just Kaito had been destined to feel miserable around her; and, together, they would continue hurting each other, because Sakine Meiko hardly understood who she was and she wanted to be loved, and Kaito couldn't return the 'love' of a girl who'd killed his best friend.

It was impossible to hate Master.

B-but Kaito couldn't quite bring himself to hate Sakine Meiko either; not anymore.

It wasn't _her_ fault.

She was blameless.

A lonely, lost, confused girl, despised by her own family for a reason she didn't even understand.

And yet, despite all that...

Kaito still cared about the old Meiko _more._

Because he...

He _loved_ her.

And maybe he always had.

In the end, there was nobody left to dislike but himself, for being so selfish to want Meiko's love when she was obviously suffering-

And for being so heartless towards a young girl who'd done nothing wrong.

But Kaito couldn't help himself.

He'd never been very sensible...

But love was even less so.

And it was eating him up from inside.

* * *

**a/n: **Okay okay. I /think/ (I _**hope**_ ._.) I've got the emotional deluge out of the way for all characters involved so I can actually get the end of this fic now XD;;  
The _next _few chapters will be the final ones, ~for serious~ XD;  
Argh. Writing stuff like this is so /difficult/ It's really hard making /all/ the characters seem sympathetic when they're evaluating if they could potentially let another character die ._. And this is why my stories get stuck and move forward ~very~ slowly; because people feel too many things! ._.  
Somebody criticized another one of my fics for being 'repetitive', and I think they might be right, because I get hung up on ~feelings~ so very much it completely stalls the plot. This honestly irritates /me/ as well, but... Arrghhh. I'm not sure how to change, or even if most people think I should ._.

Oh well ._.  
I think I'm fast becoming disenchanted with this fic, and I really just want it to end XD;  
It's like, guyz.  
Just sort your problems out already XD

**~renahhchen xoxo**


	16. It's just how business works

**Sakine Syndrome****  
**Chapter Sixteen

_''It's just how business works_"

* * *

"U-um, I'm sorry but you can't-"

"Oh, be quiet, you cheap little Crypton drone!"

"B-but M-master will-"

"Pshh! Spare me your concerns! You don't have a hope in hell of stopping _the Vocaloids_!"

"U-um, b-but you need an appointment-"

"Like hell I do! I'm Kagamine Rin, and all your base are belong to me!"

"B-but-"

"Back off! I don't have enough time to deal with small fry like you!"

"Kyah!"

The green-haired girl at the counter reached out for Rin with trembling fingers. Her movements were ridiculous, almost pathetic, compared to Rin's sweeping strides and narrowed-eyed glares. One venom-filled glance courtesy of Kagamine Rin was enough to make the poor girl at the counter recoil, squealing, as though she'd been scalded with hot water.

The girl at the counter had, inexplicably, been dressed as a maid. Rin wasn't quite sure how _that_ worked in comparison to Crypton's 'respectable' image. The green-haired girl's frilly, black and white skirts and lacy headband stood out against the white upon white background like wildfire (in fact, the maid had been blushing so much she might as well have been ablaze).

The decision of contrasting a maid with Crypton's cold glass and sterile white surfaces theme was weird- kind of like trying to inconspicuously drop Godzilla into a magical girl anime.

It... didn't make sense.

Whose idea was that, anyway?

But, a Rin pondered the reasoning behind making a cute maid girl the receptionist, a rather worrying thought struck her; a thought so maudlin it felt like a rain cloud had sprouted into existence above her blonde head.

It was a viable explanation.

But Rin didn't really want to believe it.

Maybe that green-haired girl had been a failed experiment. Another Vocaloid? She'd been improbably pretty for a mere human being, with very wide eyes and genetically-enhanced looking long lashes. Her figure had been rather improbable for a real Japanese woman, too (as had her bizarre hair color, come to think of it). The maid girl's face had been very young- almost like Rin's. However, her figure had been far more mature than her doll-like face would have suggested; very top heavy, in a way that made Rin grit her teeth together in envy. And that maid girl hardly looked like the sort of person who would have been working at Crypton under normal circumstances. For one thing, she looked about fourteen. For another, she wasn't wearing a white coat.

Maybe that pretty maid girl had been intended as another Vocaloid too, once upon a time. An old project Rin had never heard of; only the maid girl hadn't been quite good enough to be considered a 'real' Vocaloid. She'd never made it past the training stage- and she'd never been able to meet her intended 'family'.

However, Crypton didn't like to waste their botched experiments or outdated creations. 'Sakine' Meiko was proof enough of that. And so, instead of scrapping the 'maidloid' (as Rin had decided to dub her), had Crypton given her a desk job instead?

It was better than being turned into spare parts, but that still seemed rather depressing… A real step down in life, when your expectations had been to become an idol.

Another Hatsune Miku.

But, if that had ever been the young 'maidloid's' dream- or, indeed, her intended purpose- it wasn't anymore. Her eyes had been unsettling dead, almost empty. A wasteland. There had been no dreams or hopes in there.

Rin shuddered.

If, hypothetically speaking, Rin hadn't been so popular, would a similar fate have befallen her? Would she have been forced into a maid's attire- made to stand smiling at people who visited the Crypton headquarters?

Would that have become the entire function of her existence?

That was too miserable to even contemplate.

Wouldn't it be better to die if, after being promised stardom since your creation, you were cast aside by the people who made you like a homeless cat?

It sounded like a dull life. The mere thought of it was enough to make Rin shudder.

Maybe Rin sympathized with the green-haired little fauxloid.

(There was a real name for 'failed' Vocaloids, wasn't there? What was it...? Huh.

That was disturbingly indicative of just how many failed Vocaloids there were; of just how many robots who ended up stuck, without any purpose, just like the young maidloid at the counter. Rin's life was all strawberries and cream compared to theirs.)

Rin wouldn't have wished the fate of being a secretary, dressed like a maid for no apparent reason other than 'fan service', on _anyone. _That was just demeaning.

And depressing.

And completely pointless.

Even more depressing, though, was the way Meiko's fingers clutched at her own head, her facial expression wrought with pain. Rin could feel some of that pain, too; pulsing through her body like a second heart beat. Meiko's pain was hers'- but the look on Len, Miku and particularly Kaito's faces also suggested they were attuned to Meiko's suffering, too.

All of a sudden, Rin didn't feel so sorry for Miss Maidloid anymore.

They had to see Master- and she'd been standing in their way.

(Rin couldn't help but wonder, though, if the maidloid was attuned to Meiko's pain as well. They'd all been made by the same company. Maybe that why she'd looked so scared when she saw them…

If she had received a sudden, pounding headache for no reason she could understand, it was only natural she'd look so petrified; and maybe Rin's evil glares had less to do with her fright than Rin had first assumed.)

"You know, Rin, you don't have to be so forceful. I think you scared that poor girl to death. She'll be having nightmares for a week," said Len, voice teasing; light-hearted. Far more light-hearted than the situation called for.

Why was he...?

And then Rin understood.

Len was trying to cheer everybody up- even though he was usually the 'quiet, sensible' one.

Realization hit Rin like a ton of bricks.

They weren't going to get anything accomplished if they felt miserable- or if they tried to sympathize with every poor soul crushed under Crypton's heel. It was very sad for Miss Maidloid if her life story really was what Rin had imagined- but they couldn't save everybody.

They were there for Meiko.

And… there was no point feeling miserable about people who were beyond help.

Rin knew it sounded cruel- but you had to be cruel in the world to get what you wanted. And if Rin had to force a smile and cheer everybody up- push Miss Maidloid from her mind and focus solely on Meiko- then so be it.

Rin didn't even know why she was so surprised, anyway. She'd always known Crypton were cruel. Far, far crueler than she was.

If Crypton didn't like their creations- if their humanoid androids had some imperfections with their personality, or looks, or voices- they'd throw them aside; or, perhaps even worse, they'd keep them _alive_. Just so the failed Vocaloids could rust away behind counters welcoming people to the Crypton building with false smiles... All the while waiting until the day they turned into scrap metal.

Rin... didn't want that to happen to her.

She didn't want that to happen to anybody in her family.

But being miserable wouldn't help. Rin knew she had to be in tip-top fighting form to face down Master; and Rin wasn't going to let Meiko become the next broken little Crypton drone in an unfitting outfit at the reception desk.

She wasn't going to let Meiko die.

"Ahaha!~ Sucks to be Miss Maid then, doesn't it?" said Rin, her voice artificially cheerful. "She should know next time not to irritate Kagamine Rin!"

Nobody was going to mess with Rin.

Or her family.

When Rin smiled, she was so vivacious vigor seemed to shine across her pretty face. She was a shooting star. An idol. Indestructible? Sure, why not. It didn't hurt to dream. And Rin wouldn't stop dreaming.

Rin skipped over towards the nearest elevator, her over-sized bow bouncing as she did so, and slammed her finger against the button to open the door.

She wasn't afraid.

They'd go and face Master, and they'd rescue Mei-chan.

It was all in a day's work for Kagamine Rin.

* * *

Master's office had remained unchanged over the past two years. It was still located on the top-most floor of the Crypton building- not for any particular reason, it seemed, other than Master's own arrogance (of course, that was how Rin saw it).

Rin always thought of Master as some kind of unpleasant spider, clad in his business suit at the top of his web. He looked down at all the flies ensnared by his trap from above, all the while thinking of how much money he would be able to crush out of them.

That was why his office was at the top of the building.

So he could feel more important.

In control.

Dominating.

Master's office was still white all over, and incredibly minimalistic. It contrasted sharply to the Vocaloid household, which was nearly always messy despite Meiko's best efforts to tidy up. Rin's side of her shared bedroom with Len was especially chaotic. For a start, everything in the twins' room was yellow or orange or red- just like an unfortunate explosion in an orange juice factory. Whilst Len's half of the room was undeniably tidy, Rin's half looked like a road roller had steamed through it, with magazines and clothes and bottles of nail varnish strewn everywhere in complete chaos. Len always snapped at Rin to tidy up- but even Len shuddered at just how clean and sterile Master's office was.

It didn't seem right.

It didn't seem _human._

Pictures of Miku lined the walls. Kaito had never seen them before- but Rin and Len remembered them clearly, from the day they had first been born. When they saw their Master- the spider with long arms in the business suit- for the first time, Miku had been hanging on the walls; a symbol of success. Master had pointed at those pictures, and told the twins to be just as successful as her. It was the first thing he'd said to them.

Whilst there were a few newer Miku pictures on the walls, with a couple of Rin and Len photographs attired in their 'Story of Evil' attire interspaced between them, the old photographs were all there, too. They brought back bad memories.

Rin had always hated those pictures- which was strange, considering how much she loved the real Miku. But the Miku in those pictures was different to the big sister Rin knew so well. The Miku that stared down at Rin from the white-washed walls wasn't the one who featured in the unofficial, blurred, out of focus snapshots of Miku in the Vocaloid family album. In the family photographs Miku would always be smiling or pulling faces. However, in Master's carefully selected photographs, Miku was almost like a stranger.

Not a sister.

A superstar.

A cold, heartless robot in pretty clothes with a pretty face- but no personality.

Because that was what Master wanted her to be.

"Well, well, well. What a surprise!" said Master, his voice deceptively pleasant, as his eyes roved round the motley crew of assembled Vocaloids. "Miku-chan, and Rin-chan, and Len-kun! And Kaito, too? Not that it's a shock, I rarely have cause to see you nowadays..."

Kaito flinched a little at this comment, and Master smiled.

It was the smile of a spider as it beckoned flies into its web.

_Come into my parlor little flies..._

Kaito shuddered. Although Master's office was warmer than the snow-strewn streets, it was still unusually cold- a little like a crypt. Or maybe it was all the white; it made everything seem freezing to the touch, when that was only an illusion. Even in the summer, however, Master kept the A/C on full blast, so none of the warm, sticky summer's air could infiltrate his white-painted world.

He probably had some kind of god complex. Everything had to be exactly so- from the pictures of his 'family' on the walls, to the temperature of the interior of his office.

"And Meiko, too?" said Master, turning his smile towards the trembling brunette. "You prefer to go by Sakine now, yes?"

Rin's eyes narrowed.

Her fingers clenched into fists.

She opened her mouth, but-

"Like you don't know."

It was Miku who spoke first.

"Hmn?" said Master. Faux surprise was evident in his voice; but Rin was sure it was an act. He sounded more amused, rather than anything. "Whatever's the matter, Miku-chan?"

"I-I said..." Miku's shoulders were trembling almost as badly as Meiko's- almost as badly as Kaito's. The fingers of her left hand were closed around one of her twin tails- tugging hard, as though she were trying to awaken herself from a monochrome nightmare. "Like you don't know. W-with all due respect, you know exactly why we're here, **Master**."

Rin's eyes widened.

She'd never heard Miku sound like _that _before.

Miku sounded... so defiant.

Just like that picture of her on the wall, shouting into a black and green megaphone with her eyes closed, mouth screaming; but the Miku stood before Master, tugging on her twin tail, held far more emotion than the Miku in the picture.

Instead of being angry, however, Master gave a small laugh. It sounded as if he found the situation incredibly amusing- as though Miku were telling him a joke.

In one fluid motion Master linking his fingers together and placed his elbows on his desk.

"Yes~" said Master, once his chuckling had subsided. "Yes, that's true. I'm perfectly aware of why you're here- and I knew you'd come. Aheh. I suppose I was 'playing dumb'- just to see what response I'd get. You have the right to be upset, Miku-chan. It must be a sin, trying to fool a girl as pretty and kind as you. Then again..." Another smile. A smile Rin wanted to shatter, like glass. "I _did_ help create you, Miku-chan. I'm sure I have a greater right than most to appreciate a small joke at your suspense~"

"If this is a 'joke'," said Miku, "then I'm afraid it's not a very good one. Please forgive me if I refuse to laugh."

"True, true. In my old age I might be losing my touch- but I was very popular amongst the ladies once. Don't pull a face like that, Rin-chan," said Master, waving his finger at Rin in a condescending manner, "it's true! But now… Ahh~ Woe is me. Now, even my own _creations _look down upon me. It's quite depressing."

This comment spurred Rin into action. With a scowl splashed across her face and a mouth leaking venom, she said, "My heart bleeds for you."

Master only smiled at Rin indulgently, as though she were a small child asking for the Earth.

"Rin-chan~ You're always so aggressive. Poor Iku-chan sounded quite nervous when she called me- a mere minute before you barged in, actually."

"Iku-chan?" asked Rin- though she already had an idea.

"The lovely girl who acts as our receptionist. You couldn't have missed her~" said Master, smiling. "She's very pretty, isn't she?"

Rin didn't like the look on Master's face. It turned her stomach.

"Iku-chan told me that Hatsune Miku and the others had barged into the building. You demanded to speak to me- and when she learnt you didn't have an appointment she told you to leave. But then you- Rin- acted rather rude, and marched right past her."

"And may a plague strike me down for my insolence," said Rin, voice deadpan.

"Well, quite," said Master, still smiling. "Iku-chan is a very sensitive young girl. She became very panicked- and she wondered whether she should call security on you. Luckily, I'm in a good mood today- and I decided to humor your requested, whatever it is. I would never pass up a chance to talk with my dear Miku-chan, anyway~ The idea of calling security upon such a pretty girl is disgraceful. How could a man do such a thing?"

But Miku wasn't a 'girl' to Master, was she?

When Master saw Miku, he didn't see a human being. Rin wasn't even sure if he saw a robot.

Instead, he saw numbers, graphs, CD sales.

Money.

"Iku-chan was so upset, the poor thing- squeaking so much I could barely understand her. She has a truly...interesting... voice."

_Ohh._

Rin scowled.

An 'interesting' voice, huh?

So…

Was that why she was a receptionist, then?

Was that why she'd been deemed a 'failure' before she ever stepped onto the stage?

"Ha. I was wondering why you'd make a robot to be a receptionist," said Len, his own face filling with realization. He spoke as though he'd pieced together some great mystery; his voice dropping in volume. "It seemed like such a waste… But it makes sense now. You intended for her to be a Vocaloid- but the idea was axed when her voice wasn't what you wanted. So, instead, you made her a receptionist? You took away her reason for being alive, just because you didn't _like _her?"

But Master didn't rise to Len's anger. Instead, he held up a hand- silencing the blond, mid-rant.

"Ahh, it's nothing of the sort. You misunderstand, my dear Len-kun; which is strange, considering how intelligent you are." Master grinned a toad-like grin. "Iku-chan is quite popular with some people- but her audience appeal is very limited. She still performs occasionally, but... it's not performing as you might know it~ Ahaha."

It didn't take Rin too long to realize what Master meant by that.

"G-gross..." said Rin, glaring acid at her 'Master'. "That's... gross..."

"Is it, if people will pay good money for it?"

Kaito was instantly reminded of the incident in the alleyway. Meiko had been attacked by some men, hadn't she? Had their faces… looked just a little similar to Master's?

Were they the same kind of people?

What, exactly, was Master making Iku do?

Master spoke about it as though it were a joke, but it was more serious than that; you couldn't belittle somebody's suffering with a laugh and a smile-

"So it's a business venture?" Kaito asked, his voice rising in volume. "You don't care what happens to us- to_ any _of us- as long as it makes you money? Is that _**really **_how it works?"

Master only smiled at Kaito, face impervious.

"I'm sorry to pull you out of your fantasies, Kaito-chan, but…" He smiled. "Actually, I'm not sorry at all. You're too naïve. You need to understand how business works. I already had this conversation with Mei-chan- but I'll say it again.

"You can't operate a smooth business if some of your models cost more to upkeep than what they earn. It's simple mathematics, Kaito-chan; and just a little bit of common sense. I know you don't have much of it, but please try to understand.

"I need to make my business work. That's all~ I'm hardly a bad guy here; I'm just being realistic."

"B-but..." Kaito's voice faltered- his eyes widening. His brief moment of defiance seemed to have drained away before it really started.

"It's a shame. But useless robots... should be put in their place, yes? Even if that place is on the scrap heap…"

Master turned to look at Meiko- or what was left of her. It was unclear at that point whether she was really 'Meiko' anymore, or whether she was 'Sakine'. Maybe Meiko didn't even know herself; the two voices warring in her head for control were beginning to split her apart...

"I'll phrase it in a way that's slightly easier to understand- even for a robot like you, Kaito-chan. Useless robots that lose the company money should be uninstalled."

Another smile.

"That's just the way business works.

* * *

**a/n: **And thus, Meiko dies.  
The end.

...No I'm just teasing you XD~

I am now _really_ tempted to write some adorable fluffy Miku/Master fanfiction in which Master is not a complete douche just to make up for how terribly I portray him in all my other fanfics XD  
Actually, Kaito/Master fanfiction a la uninstall might be really interesting...  
Kikikikiki  
I sense a possible future project XDDD

**~renahhchen xoxo**


	17. Draw the emotional

**Sakine Syndrome****  
**Chapter Seventeen

_''Draw the emotional_"

* * *

The atmosphere in Master's office was dark; ironic, considering the walls were painted blinding white. Kaito felt a little bit like he was in a hospital- but that was wrong, too, because Master didn't look like he was going to offer them any salvation.

He wasn't going to help.

Instead, Master was smiling. He could have been discussing the weather with a facial expression like that; something inconsequential, of little importance.

And yet, all the while, Meiko had her fingers pressed against her forehead- trembling, as she tried desperately to stuff all her thoughts back into her skull.

It looked like she was losing.

Meiko's legs were shaking, like the foundations of a house in an earthquake. She could barely stand- and although Kaito had (clumsily) attempted to remove most of the glass from the wound on her knee during the taxi ride (the taxi driver probably wouldn't be too pleased with the small trail of blood Kaito had managed to track across the seat of the car), a bright red splash of blood still blossomed across Meiko's leg, like the petals of an opened flower.

It looked painful.

N-no; it didn't just 'look' it.

Kaito _knew _it was painful.

Kaito could feel Meiko's distress running through his head; coursing through his veins; crashing against the inside of his skull like rapid water tumbling against jagged rocks, sending white foam flying into the air as the pain tore up the cables inside Kaito's mind…

And Master could only _smile._

Kaito hated that smile.

It was the smile of somebody who pulled the wings off flies for fun; just to watch them squirm.

_Dance on the palm of my hand._

Meiko's pain wouldn't move Master; not when he'd enclosed his heart in ice, until nothing could reach him. It was all about 'business' with him- it _**always **_had been-

B-but…

No…

That wasn't true.

It hadn't.

Not _always._

Once upon a time, 'Master' hadn't merely been… Well… 'Master'. He'd been more than an imposing figure of fear; a man clad in a pinstripe suit, sat in his chair surveying his kingdom. His chessboard.

Master had been… a different person back then- and he'd gone by a different name.

Kaito never used to call him 'Master'.

Not until Hatsune Miku, and World is Mine, and Melt- and then the real money began to flow in; and, over a few months, Master began to change, distort, like looking at your reflection in a pool of water- until, when Rin and Len arrived, Master was completely unrecognizable.

A different person.

Hardly even human.

A robot in a business suit sat behind a desk, with a mechanical smile.

But he hadn't always been like that.

Master had been… lonely, hadn't he? Incredibly, crushingly lonely for most of his life- and Kaito knew, because Master had told him, because they'd been friends once. Not just 'business partners'.

(_You're the only ones who've stood by me, Mei-chan… Kaito-kun…")_

But Kaito wasn't sure how to reach that person now.

Maybe he didn't exist anymore.

Maybe the new Master, with his enigmatic smiling and frozen heart- locked in stasis, unmoving; a deep freeze of feelings and an icy pulse- had destroyed that cheerful, friendly man (but he wasn't really a 'man'- he wasn't _that _old; but Master looked a lot older now) Kaito had once known.

And Kaito didn't know how to reach him.

The person sat before him wasn't his 'Master'.

It was a stranger.

A stranger wearing his face- but he possessed none of Master's former kindness.

Kaito wasn't sure what to say; what to do.

He could only stand there, lost- as though he trapped in the middle of a winding maze. His goal was clear. He had to save Meiko. But he didn't know how... Not when Master saw Meiko as nothing more than a 'business venture'; nothing more than money...

Why…?

The old Master would never…

B-but he was gone.

Everything changed.

It always changed.

"...N-no."

"No? What's wrong, Kaito-chan?" asked Master. Despite the severity of the situation, he didn't sound concerned. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Master's voice was tinged with a sick kind of amusement, as though he were watching a TV drama.

"W-why aren't you helping Meiko?" asked Kaito; his voice quiet, defeated. Too many thoughts and feelings (too many memories) were running through Kaito's head- and he couldn't make sense of them all.

_Why aren't you helping Meiko?_

_Why are you watching her suffer?_

_Why… don't you care?_

_Do you find our suffering amusing? Does it make you feel better about yourself? More 'human'? More powerful, knowing you have power over us, and we can't do anything?_

_Why?_

_Why did you change?_

_When did you stop… being a __human?_

"You're answering my question with a question?" asked Master, raising a brow. "That's rather rude."

Rin gave a harsh laugh. It echoed around the room; an eerie chorus of Kagamine Rins, denouncing her 'Master' for the monster he was.

"What? You're gonna get ticked off at Bakaito for not being 'polite'? B-but don't you think standing here, talking normally like nothing's wrong, when Mei-chan is... Mei-chan is..." Rin's fingers clenched into fists. Her eyes narrowed. "Mei-chan might be **DYING!** And you want us to discuss it calmly? Isn't that just a _teensy _bit ruder? I-if I saw somebody DIE, I wouldn't say 'oh gee it's not polite to speak in that tone of voice' if they were screaming for help- I-I'd try and save them! I-I don't understand how you can pretend you don't care, I… I…"

"Rin."

"L-len...?"

Rin blinked at her brother in surprise. Len had cut her off, mid-rant, his hands finding Rin's head in a comforting pat. Len's fingers threaded through Rin's hair as though she were a cat; and perhaps Len meant to comfort her, but it had the adverse affect. Rin gave a small, broken-sounding sob, and turned round, pulling Len into a bone-crushing hug as she placed her head on his shoulder.

Len wasn't used to such displays of affection from Rin. Usually, when she touched him, it was to carry out some threat- and rarely (_very_ rarely) did she ever turn to him for comfort. Even if Rin was upset, if Len offered her a hug she would've called him a pervert. In fact, if Len offered a miserable Rin a hug, Rin's resulting disbelief probably would've been enough to snap her right out of any depression. She would have laughed at him.

But it was different now.

"I-it's not fair..." said Rin, her voice muffled by Len's shoulder. "H-he... He doesn't care about Mei-chan..."

"It's okay, Rin," said Len, trying to comfort his trembling sister- even though he didn't know that, and he hardly even believed it. But it was his job to be the mature twin. "It's okay..."

Rin gave a small sniff. It sounded like she was trying to hold back tears. Or maybe 'trying to' was a little over hopeful- because Len felt something damp soaking through his shirt.

He couldn't see Rin's eyes, but Len was sure they'd be sparkling.

Filled with tears.

This... was the second time Len had ever seen Rin cry.

And he couldn't stand it.

I-it made him feel like crying, too…

But he had to stay strong. For Rin. Who else could she turn to, when everybody was just as upset as her?

The first time Len had seen Rin cry had been his fault. He'd snapped at her- about what, Len couldn't remember- and then he'd pushed her… She bruised her leg on the side of the table; it hurt her pretty badly. Len could still remember the purplish-black bruising that had spread across her leg, and how sick it had made him felt.

He'd done that. With his own two hands.

He'd _hurt _Rin.

But the tears had been worse.

Much worse.

Len had hated himself then; he'd hated himself the moment he said those cruel things to Rin. He loved her, even if she did take great pride in being incredibly irritating, and Len didn't want to see Rin hurt. When Rin was upset, it felt like he himself was missing half himself; some internal organs completely removed from his body.

And Len had vowed that he'd never let Rin cry again.

W-well…

What a lot of good that promise had done now.

Useless…

I-it was all useless…

What was the point in making a promise he couldn't keep?

He'd failed.

He was meant to be the mature sibling; the dependable one; the level-headed twin…

And yet he'd broken his promise.

He hadn't been able to keep Rin smiling.

He'd let her cry.

And he didn't know how to dry her tears.

"R-rin..." said Len, his voice cracking like broken glass. "I-it'll... It'll be okay..."

Rin shook her head.

"Y-you can't say that; n-not if you don't know…"

And Len knew she was right. All he could do was return Rin's hug- almost as desperately as she clung to him.

_Useless._

"My, my," said Master. He was smiling; but if one were to squint, they might have been able to see a small sliver of remorse in his dark eyes. "I'm sorry, Rin-chan, but you're proving my point. This is why I can't allow my lovely Vocaloid family to make business decisions. You're too emotional."

Rin's trembling body gave a jolt, as though it had been electrocuted. Her yellow-painted fingernails dug into Len's arms, procuring a small hiss of pain from her brother. Then, she turned in a swirl of blonde hair and blue eyes, her body taught like a violin string; ready to snap, if pushed one step further.

"O-of course I'm emotional! M-mei-chan's our big sister!" said Rin, shouting so hard she was convinced her vocal chords would tear. Well... good. Maybe Master would have to scrap _her_ as well; maybe that'd hurt Master's pockets, considering how popular Rin was...

That childish thought of rebelling spread through Rin's mind- and though it was immature, unlikely to work (he could just repair her), Rin couldn't help but feel she'd defeated Master somehow.

A small victory.

A personal victory.

But still a victory, of sorts.

"I realize that," said Master, sighing. "But Meiko is also a burden to our company. You have to look at it from my perspective. It's really no different from firing an unsuitable employee. I'm glad for your services, and some goodbyes are difficult; but life is full of goodbyes, and you have to get over it to be successful. It's a dog eat dog world out there- although I wouldn't expect you to understand…"

"N-no…" said Len- his voice soft; defiant.

"No?" asked Master. "I must say, you're all being very defiant today."

"How can I not? How could I stand by and say nothing?" said Len. His voice was cold. "You say it's like 'firing somebody'- but you're wrong! You can't… It's… It's _murder_."

"Perhaps. Who's to say? Is an artificially intelligent robot a 'human'? Or is it merely 'property'? You wouldn't cry if you had to, say… scrap an old vacuum cleaner, would you?"

"I-I'm _not_ property! I'm me!" Rin spat back, slamming a palm against Master's desk. "I'm Kagamine Rin! Y-you can't _**control **_me!"

"R-rin..."

Len's hands were back on Rin's shoulders; pulling her back- trying to calm her down. If Rin threatened Master, her life could be in danger, too. Master had the facilities and the money to remodel Rin if she proved too 'emotional', as Master had called it; and the idea of Rin becoming another meek, obedient Sakine Meiko made Len's stomach turn.

If such a fate were to befall Rin, Len didn't know what he'd do. He didn't even want to think about it.

Len expected Rin to fight him. His fingers tightened round her shoulders like steel; rooting her in place- anticipating a backlash. Maybe Rin would try to hurt him, too? If she couldn't lash out at Master, maybe she'd settle for hurting Len instead.

But...

Rin didn't.

Rin didn't struggle.

And that was more worrying than violence would have been.

Instead, she slumped against Len's comforting arms. She was limp, like a straggling weed grown in a cupboard without sunlight. Rin was crying openly now; pools of liquid welling up in the corners of her misty blue eyes, dribbling down her cheeks and splish-splashing on the too-clean floor. Her face was flushed bright red.

"It's a vast moral dilemma, Rin-chan," said Master, sighing. His easy smile had faltered somewhat; cracked, like a broken teacup. "If you were human beings, I could merely fire you and be done with it- but Mei-chan is a robot. Fixing her- even maintaining her- is expensive. It may be true that Miku-chan brings in a lot of money, but it's equally true that I have to spend more paying for song writers, chorographers- and the mere living expenses for you are fairly high. And let's not get started on further research I'm doing, and side projects, and then there are maintenance issues and… Well. The expenses are endless. At this stage, fixing a broken, defunct, unpopular model would be a waste of money.

"I tried to 'fix' Mei-chan already," Master continued. "I updated her- and it was exceedingly expensive. I tried to incorporate some aspects of the old 'Meiko' into her new design to placate you, but it seems her old personality resurfaced, against my expectations..."

Aspects of the 'old' Meiko...?

Memories rushed through Kaito's head in a dizzying rush.

Sakine Meiko, looking at him hopefully with a small smile; holding him that plate of cookies ("_I made them for you_"); her eyes filled with tears as a red welt bloomed on her pretty face...

She'd barely known Kaito; and yet, despite this, she'd been desperate to do things for him.

To see him smile.

She'd wanted him to be happy- Kaito knew that much.

But it didn't make any sense.

Why?

Why had she felt like that?

Kaito knew he was meant to be her 'family'. All the Vocaloids- whether programmed to or not- became rather attached to each other. Kaito wasn't sure if that was because of nature or nurture. Was that familial instinct written inside their heads at birth- a piece of circuitry embedded in their skulls- or did it develop over time?

But, regardless, Sakine Meiko had still been... unjustifiably adoring of Kaito.

The old Meiko would've called him an idiot and left it at that- but not Sakine Meiko.

At first, Kaito had chalked that up to her personality change- because Sakine Meiko was a different entity to the old Meiko. She merely happened to share the same name and the same body- but she wasn't the same girl. Besides, Kaito hadn't wanted to ponder Sakine Meiko's feelings too deeply, anyway. It hurt too much.

But, thinking about it now...

Wasn't it a little weird that Sakine Meiko had cared _that_ much?

Miku hadn't been like that around Kaito when she'd first arrived to the Vocaloid family. Even though she'd been a little bashful, a little shy, whenever Kaito complimented her on her voice or spent time with her, Miku saw Kaito as nothing more than her beloved 'onii-chan'.

A big brother.

Nothing more.

Miku had made Kaito cookies once- but there had been no misty eyes or blossoming romance behind the gesture. It'd been friendly; and she'd offered them to Meiko, too (Meiko had, of course, being more intelligent than Kaito, refused.

Kaito had not- and, as a result, he'd spent the following week being very sick, after he learnt leeks and chocolate chips were not a match made in a heaven).

The idea of _Rin_ acting adoring around _anyone_ was just laughable- and Kaito was quite glad he wasn't the recipient of Rin's 'love'. Being 'loved' by Kagamine Rin probably would've killed him. Rin only saw him as a big brother- or 'Bakaito'; a lovable idiot who was fun to tease; to paint the fingernails of; to torture.

Rin and Miku had never been that desperate to see Kaito happy.

In fact, Rin's main goal in life seemed to be to depress/irritate Kaito for fun.

But Meiko had been different.

Sakine Meiko… had seemed to care about him a lot more than a little sister should have done.

Was that because Sakine Meiko was a new person with a new personality-

Or was that an aspect of the 'old Meiko' that had been retained?

D-did Meiko...

W-was it possible she...

S-she never acted like that _normally_. The older Meiko- the Meiko Kaito knew so well- would never have looked at Kaito adoringly, or made him cookies. If she had, Kaito would've been stupid to try them, because the only scenario Kaito could imagine Meiko baking him cookies was if she was incredibly drunk; or if she were trying to teach him some lesson, and had put arsenic in them.

There was no proof to suggest she would ever, in this universe or a thousand others, l-l... l...

_Like _Kaito.

None at all.

But there was no reason why Sakine Meiko would've been in love with Kaito either- because feelings couldn't be programmed into the Vocaloids. Set personality traits and appearances could- but not actual _feelings..._

Feelings weren't easily controllable.

I-if that was true...

W-was there a chance the real Meiko might, at some point...

H-have really _liked _Kaito?

Really liked him?

B-but if that was the case...

"You **can't** let her die."

Kaito spoke the words without being fully aware he was saying them. They seemed to echo the enclosed space of Master's white crypt for hours- though, in reality, it was only seconds. Kaito's quiet refusal cut through Rin's tears, Len's comforting words (lies), and Meiko's gasps of pain as she tried to keep her head from splitting in two, down the middle (two Meikos; two people fighting over one body and it was too much; it hurt too much...)

Kaito's eyes widened.

He wasn't really trying to argue with Master, was he?

Kaito wasn't important; not like Miku. If Miku were the Queen on a chessboard, Kaito and Meiko were pawns; easily disposable. They probably lost Crypton more money than they gained- and Master had already proved he was ruthless. If Kaito stepped out of line, the axe blade could fall on him next-

_Checkmate, just like that_

-and then heads would roll.

Circuitry would be severed.

And Kaito would die.

B-but...

No.

Kaito wasn't afraid.

He had to save Meiko.

And he had to apologize to Sakine.

He'd been so stupid, so blind; lashing out at Sakine Meiko when it wasn't her fault, and then standing by like a taken piece whilst Rin sobbed and Miku tried to talk to Master. But Kaito hadn't been taken yet. He hadn't been uninstalled- he was still on the game board- and - he could still make a move.

He may have been stupid, but he'd truly live up to his nickname ('Bakaito') if he didn't try to help.

No…

Not even that.

He wouldn't be an 'idiot' if he didn't try to help.

He'd be a _monster._

Kaito's life wasn't worth living unless his family was complete, laughing and happy as they were in the multitude of photographs in their prized family album. Kaito's life didn't mean all that much at all if he couldn't share it with Rin, with Len, with Miku.

Or Meiko.

The woman who'd always stood by him, through thick and thin.

The woman who had defended Kaito on numerous occasions, when he forget song lyrics or accidentally incurred Master's displeasure with low CD sales.

The woman Kaito _loved._

Determination shone across Kaito's face; bursting into fruition like an exploding supernova.

He wasn't going sit back and watch as Master picked his family apart anymore.

He had to fight.

"You _**can't**_ let her die. Not Meiko. And not Sakine Meiko either! They're still _people_- even if they're nothing more than pawns to you! Just because you don't care, it doesn't mean _**we **_don't! Do you know what I'm- n-no, not even, what **all of us**- are feeling right now? Do you?" Kaito's tirade had carried him across the room, until he was facing Master directly; his hands planted against the table top, whilst his blue eyes glared into Master's own brown eyes. "Mei-chan's in pain. And we're all feeling it too."

Master tried to look unaffected- meeting Kaito's intense stare with a small smile. However, Kaito was sure his close proximity was unnerving, because Master leant back in his chair- just a little.

It was a small victory.

But it hadn't won the war.

"Kaito-chan? Are you attempting to tell me how to run my own business?"

"No. I'm telling you to have a heart and act more human."

Master quirked a brow at this. "A robot teaching _me _about humanity? How ironic."

"Maybe it is a little..." said Kaito, leaning forwards- his fingers curling into fists against the table top. "But it seems you need a wake-up call. Meiko isn't just a toy! She's a real person with real feelings! I know what she's feeling- we all do! We're all linked together- and if you hurt one Vocaloid... you're going to hurt all of us! Ha..." Kaito gave a small laugh; completely devoid of humor. It was hollow. When he next spoke, his voice was a lot softer, deeper; more menacing. "I didn't intend to give you a crash course in how to run your business, _Master_, but it's gonna be pretty hard trying to keep Crypton afloat if all your little chess pieces get taken."

Master was now, despite his best attempts to feign apathy, becoming unnerved by Kaito. Kaito was usually light-hearted, easygoing- even when he was being scolded. But this Kaito... This Kaito was different.

Almost _dangerous._

_"_Are you threatening me?" asked Master, his voice low. "Are you defying my wishes?"

"I won't have to if you'd _listen _to me," Kaito spat back. His words were pure venom; so bitter it was surprising they didn't burn through his tongue.

"And why should I listen to _you?" _

"Because, if you don't, you'll lose something. Something very important."

It was Miku who spoke that time. Her voice was quiet, but softly determined; not forceful like Kaito's, but more... imploring. Pleading. But not for herself, no; and not for Meiko either.

She seemed to pleading on behalf of Master- the hateful, spider-like mat sat at his white desk in his black chair with his fingers curled together like gnarled tree roots.

Miku's hand fell against Kaito's gently; squeezing his fingers in a show of camaraderie.

Miku was going to fight, too.

Kaito gave Miku a small nod- and he couldn't help but smile. Miku looked so small, so frail; but she was strong, too. Far stronger than it first appeared.

"You never used to be like this, Master," said Miku- still speaking softly. Nostalgia seeped into her words. A sigh escaped her lips, painted with memories of happier times, older times; times when they weren't rich, but they were happy. "You used to be a nice person. A-a good person, I think. A person... That was happy to call my Master..."

"Miku-chan? What is the-"

"You're not a bad person!" Miku continued, her voice rising in pitch; slicing through Master's comments and effectively silencing him. Her voice echoed through the room; over and over again, in a ghostly chorus. "You're not! W-when I first created, Crypton wasn't a rich company or a big company- n-not at all! It wasn't! But you were happy! When you first saw me, you smiled; you smiled so brightly- and you said... You said..."

Miku was trembling; her shoulders shaking almost as badly as Meiko's- but still, she continued to talk; her words filling the room as they circulated round and round- seeming to gain power as they echoed back to her.

"You said, 'i-it's so nice to meet you, Hatsune-san. Or would you prefer Miku-chan? I hope we can be friends...' A-and... And you wanted us... to get along. Y-you didn't just want to be 'business partners'; and I wasn't just a robot... T-this was before." Miku sniffed. Her eyes were watery; sparkling, crystalline- but still, she continued. "Y-you were so nice... A-and I thought... I _did_... w-want to be your friend... very much... Because you were a nice person."

"It wasn't about the money back then," said Kaito. "You were like that with me and Mei-chan, too. Even though 'Vocaloids' were virtually unknown, you were a nice Master; a kind person. A-a human being. You cared about us once. You cared about us as _people_. Rin and Len are too young to remember this... B-but I remember you used to talk to us; really talk to us- and you'd sit down in our awful kitchen in our house- you wouldn't try and distance yourself behind your desk in this… horrible office- and we'd drink tea together, and we'd talk... Talk about all kinds of things..."

"Yeah. I remember that," Miku said, a small smile quirking her lips. It contrasted sharply against her teary eyes; like sunshine and rain clouds forming at the same time. "Y-you'd come over every once in a while to see how we were, and I tried to make the tea once, a-and I nearly burnt a hole in the kettle..."

"That was 'cause you forgot to put the water in; you got so flustered round Master you'd make the stupidest mistakes," said Kaito, smiling.

Miku giggled at this, ducking her head; a faint blush spreading across her cheeks.

"Hehehe... B-but it's not like _you_ were any better, Kaito-nii."

"At least I didn't destroy any kettles."

"That's cause Mei-chan wouldn't let your stupid fumbly fingers touch them," Miku retorted childishly, sticking out her tongue. "You'd probably, like, burn yourself or something!"

"T-that's true… Ahaha…" Kaito gave a sheepish laugh, rubbing the back of his head with one hand. "I guess Mei-chan was looking out for me all this time."

"In that strange way of hers."

"It's very strange- but I'm sure she cares."

"Deep down."

"_Very_ deep down, yeah. Ahaha~"

"A-ah... Those times were so much fun," said Miku- her faced wreathed in radiant smiles, whilst her eyes continued to sparkle like stained glass. She sniffed, wiping stray moisture away from underneath her eyes with two fingers. "We'd sit in the kitchen- the four of us, together- and talk about... nothing, really. Not just business; about other things, like what books we'd been reading- y-you used to lend me your own books, remember, Master?" Miku smiled. "They were a bit difficult for me to understand at first, and they were really complicated, but I ploughed through them anyway- just to see you smile. Hehe…"

Miku flushed slightly, like a girl making a confession or handing over Valentine's day chocolates. She smiled, shaking her head; trying to rid herself of whatever embarrassing memories were clouding her mind.

"And we'd talk about... stuff on TV," said Miku. "Stupid things Kaito did that made me smile. My new leek recipes... Everything. Y-you really wanted to be my friend. _**Our**_ friend.

"You know… I think… I-I think, at one point, I-I really liked you… I-I liked you so much… Master…"

Miku breathed in heavily; trembling. It looked like she having trouble keeping her breathing pattern constant.

Inhale

and

exhale

and…

"That feels like it was so long ago- but it wasn't really," said Miku, eyes misty. "It wasn't. Can't you remember, Master?"

"I remember it plainly," said Master- his face contorting, as though he'd eaten something unpleasant. "But it's different now. The business is bigger; I can't afford to spend too much time away from my office; I can't afford to allow defunct models to exist; I can't-"

"Afford to care," said Kaito.

"I guess money gives people new priorities," said Miku. "New worries. But... B-but we still matter, too. We're more than robots- you always knew that, and… We still… We still... w-we want our old Master back! N-no..." Miku shook her head; her twin tails bouncing slightly. "Not even that! I don't want my _Master_ back! I-I want my _**friend**_! I want..."

Miku's face flushed, her turquoise eyes shimmering under the harsh lighting.

Tears were beading in the corners of her eyes.

Clinging to her cheeks in droplets, like rain water.

"I-I... I want you to give back Sasaki-kun."

* * *

**a/n: **Emotional appeal o:  
Actually, it seems there are some Miku/Master hints in here too XD  
So we have vaguely hinted RinLen and MikuMaster amidst the KaiMei.  
...This makes me happy. They're like my three favorite pairings all in one fic XD

I hate crappy 2-D stock 'villain' characters, so I was trying to develop Master just a little more.  
Expect more of this confrontation in chapter dix-huit :3

Wataru Sasaki is the name of one of the people who programmed Miku. In the Hatsune Miku manga he's given as Miku's 'master' at some points (I think), so I decided to use that name for this fic :D

**~renahhchen xoxo**

* * *

**a/n: **And if you're wondering, that stands for "awesome note". For I am Lamatikah and I saved "renahhchen"'s (what a stupid name) life today. Without me, this chapter would never have been able to be uploaded - well, it probably would have at some point, just not today I suppose. Anyway, the point is she gave me permission to add my sassy touch onto the end of the chapter as a sort of reward. I think her actual words were "snide little comment". As if I would ever be snide. I'm lovely.**  
**


	18. Making a monster

**Sakine Syndrome****  
**Chapter Eighteen

_''Making a monster_"

* * *

He was from a rich family. His childhood wasn't fraught with discomfort or poverty. He always had clean clothes to wear and he always had enough to eat, and his parents weren't abusive.

But perhaps simply being 'not abusive' wasn't enough.

Sasaki couldn't really remember his parents; their faces blurred around in his mind, as though he were looking at them through a pool of water. He could remember his mother's smile, covered in lipstick, and how she'd leave a faint imprint of her lips on his cheek when she kissed him. He could remember his father's thinning hair and the wrinkles that seemed carved into his forehead; they never changed no matter what expression was on his face. His mother said they were 'laughter lines', but his father never laughed that much. He was a rather serious man.

Sasaki's parents were always busy. His mother was a social butterfly who attended numerous parties. His father owned his own laboratory, and he'd carved himself a name in the economic market with his own bare hands.

Crypton.

Crypton experimented with robotics; creating machines that could help with delicate surgery long before such technology was widely used. Sasaki's father, Wataru Akira, was a pioneer- a man revered and respected by all.

Akira was changing the face of modern medicine, saving thousands of lives.

And, with all those lives in his hands, he just didn't have enough time to care about his own son.

* * *

His house was large, but always seemed devoid of people. The only times the too-big house was filled with life was when Sasaki's mother, Maiko, held one of her famous parties. However, Sasaki- being a young child- was never allowed to attend them.

"It's not that I don't value your company, Sasaki," said his mother, fixing her hair in the mirror. "I love you. I just think you'd find it boring listening to a bunch of adults talking about themselves for hours and hours. You can find something else to entertain yourself with, can't you, Sasaki?"

"Yes, mom."

"Good boy~"

And then Maiko would smile (she looked beautiful when she smiled), ruffle his hair and kiss him on the cheek.

The stains of her cherry-red lipstick lingered on his skin, and wouldn't fade away even when he tried to clean it off.

The faint lipstick stains were the only reminders Sasaki had of his mother when she held her parties, dressed in resplendent gowns and drinking alcohol. Sasaki, meanwhile, would stay in his room reading, trying to ignore the sounds of laughter from the other areas of the house. He understood that world belonged to his mother and her friends, not him. Never to him.

Books were fine, though.

Books couldn't argue with you, like his mom and dad did so frequently when Maiko wasn't at a party and Akira wasn't at the Crypton laboratories, and they actually had a chance to talk.

They didn't do much talking, though. They only seemed to shout.

* * *

Sasaki was only eight at the time and he didn't really understand it, but one day Maiko was there- and the next minute, she was gone. Every time Sasaki tried to ask his father where she went Akira would just grit his teeth and turn his head away. He looked so angry Sasaki learnt not to ask anymore. The only memory of his mother that remained was a small bottle of orange-scented perfume, a gauzy scarf, and a note, penned in his mother's elegant handwriting (though it looked rushed and scratchy, the letters melding into each other) that he'd found stuck to his bedroom mirror the day after she left.

The note read- 'remember, Sasaki, I love you. I'll always love you. I hope one day you can forgive me.'

It wasn't until much, much later Sasaki learnt his mother had a whole host of problems. She'd married Akira young, too young, and they'd been happy for a while- but Akira soon grew so engrossed in his work he forget about his wife. His childhood sweetheart.

Maiko had said once, when Sasaki was playing with his toy trains and not paying much attention, "sometimes I think he'd love me more if I was a robot, too." Maiko hadn't been wearing any make-up that day; instead, she'd lounged about the house in a ratty old sweater that fell past her knees and a pair of over-stretched leggings that fell down around the crotch. Her brown hair had been tied up in too pigtails, and her skin had been ashen. Her hands kept trembling.

She'd looked like a zombie.

Even so, Maiko had still been beautiful. It was impossible to call Wataru Maiko ugly.

"Sasaki... come and give your mother a hug," Maiko had said, her voice strangely slurred and broken, as she held out her arms. The folds of grey sweater drooped around her matchstick arms like elephant skin, and there had been a strange desperation about her smile. She looked fragile- as though she'd shatter into a thousand pieces.

When Sasaki hugged her he'd done so carefully, because he didn't want to break her.

Humans were... so breakable.

Unreliable.

Sasaki loved Maiko, and Maiko loved him- but she had so many problems of her own she could hardly afford to care for another child. She tried to drown her sorrows with alcohol, hiding behind a strained make-up smile as red as rose petals.

It hadn't worked.

Maiko had been suffering from depression for a long time- and, eventually, she left.

If she'd stayed she would have drowned herself in drink.

It was at this point Sasaki decided perhaps his father had a point.

Humans were no good.

Even if you loved them, you couldn't trust them.

And when they left, or died, or drowned under their problems so your words couldn't reach them anymore and they began to shamble through life with dead eyes, then you'd be left all alone.

* * *

Sasaki showed an interest in robotics around the age of twelve. He'd always liked playing with toy trains, and once he'd taken apart the microwave to see how it worked. Unlike most families, Akira had merely smiled at Sasaki's inquisitive nature and said 'atta boy', whilst Maiko laughed and ruffled his hair as though he'd done some really clever. Sasaki couldn't put the microwave back together again, but that didn't matter too much. They'd bought a new one.

It soon became clear Sasaki was going to succeed Akira as the head of Crypton. Sasaki was incredibly talented at mechanics, and by thirteen had managed to build his own working radio in the space of five days. His father had never been prouder of him, and Akira seemed to bury his anger and guilt over Maiko by placing all his faith into Sasaki. Their relationship had been good. For the first time in his life, Sasaki had felt wanted. Needed.

And then, one morning, Akira began coughing up blood. His bed sheets were splattered red.

He had lung cancer.

The doctor said Wataru Akira only had ten months left to live.

The doctor was wrong.

Akira only had four.

* * *

After Akira's death Sasaki truly was left alone. He completed his education with the same kind of single-minded nature of a zombie. Sasaki was like a zombie himself during that period of time, finding little joy in anything, save his engineering course.

Mechanics were the future. People were weak, easily broken. People could betray you. Robots couldn't.

Robots were eternal.

What if Sasaki created a robot with human emotion? A real human- but indestructible, with a body made of metal and emotions stimulated by electrical impulses? Crypton had mainly been a business creating medical equipment, but that market was soon becoming over-saturated, as more and more discoveries were made by newer companies, desperate to steal away Crypton's market piece by piece, and then in large chunks. Crypton couldn't compete with the newer, bigger companies anymore- and they weren't really needed in the medical field. There was too much competition.

Sasaki was going to point Crypton in a new direction.

They weren't going to create mere robots.

They were going to create real human beings.

And, with that revolutionary thought in mind, Wataru Sasaki finally stepped into his father's shoes at the age of twenty-two.

* * *

It was a miracle!

It taken him six long years of continued research and experimentation, eating away at Crypton's funds slowly but surely like maggots devouring flesh, but... finally... Sasaki had achieved his dream.

A piece of perfection lay on the bed before him, her skin hooked up to wires that ran under her flesh and her eyes closed. She was sleeping- but not for much longer. With a strange kind of hyseria, Sasaki wondered whether he was becoming a Dr. Frankenstein-esque figure, or some kind of mad scientist. Some of his old staff seemed to think so, and they'd left. Was it 'wrong' to create an artificial human being?

But the girl resting on the hospital bed under the harsh lighting didn't look artificial. She looked real, from the light freckles dotting her nose to each individual, perfectly formed eyelash.

She wouldn't leave him.

Not like Maiko.

Not like Akira.

Her body was impenetrable to disease and she could not die. She would rely on Sasaki as a protector- and, for once, Sasaki would be needed.

Sasaki... would have a friend.

Perhaps it was a little pathetic, a grown man pouring so much money into research like this to create a 'friend'; but Sasaki didn't care. He would protect this girl- woman, rather- with his life.

He'd been too young to protect his mother from the cruelty of the world; too young to really understand she'd needed help, and when it dawned on him it was far too late. All he had left was that tear-stained, almost illegible note that looked nothing like his mother's usually neat, tidy handwriting. The note was his only reminder of his mother. And a reminder he'd lost her. Forever.

But Sasaki could protect this new girl.

Meiko.

* * *

"This tea tastes like shit. I mean, really."

Sasaki only laughed, as Meiko pulled a face and pushed the cup tea away from her with a skrrtt sound. Sasaki had brewed that tea himself, and he'd never been too good at household chores, having a few maids at his family home who had always taken care of those sorts of things.

"You've wounded me deep, Mei-chan," said Sasaki, still smiling. "I made it for you."

"Huh." Meiko folded her arms, raised a brow. "You might be good at robotics and shit, but you're completely useless when it comes to simple tasks like this. I could tea better than that."

"I didn't realize it was such a refined art."

"Of course it is. I'm a refined lady."

Sasaki laughed again at this comment. Meiko pulled a strange face as though she'd just swallowed a lemon, and for a few moments it looked like she was going to hit him. However, Meiko's expression soon began to soften, and after a while a small smile had managed to force its way onto her lips, too. She looked much nicer when she was smiling.

"I appreciate the tea, Sasaki-kun," said Meiko, after a pause. "You idiot."

Getting scolded by his own 'creation' didn't upset Sasaki. To the contrary, it made him cheerful. People often wondered why he'd invested so much time and effort creating an artificial human with such a disagreeable personality; a robot who openly disobeyed what he said, acted rude and was prone to violence. Sasaki's answer to those queries was always "it makes her more human." Humans had faults and flaws, and if Sasaki had created a perfect robot it would have been... disturbing, to say the least. A person who looks exactly like a real human, but can be controlled like a TV or a toaster? A human being you can switch off when you want to, or order round like a pet? No. That wasn't what Sasaki wanted.

Real human beings had flaws, and so did Meiko. He hadn't even directly programmed those into her circuitry; when she was created she had those flaws, just as they developed in humans over time.

But Sasaki was glad for that.

You couldn't be friends with somebody who called you 'Master', after all.

* * *

Sasaki hadn't expected the Vocaloids to become so popular. Creating an international pop music sensation had not been his aim when he and his scientists created Meiko four years ago. However, with the arrival of Hatsune Miku, the name 'Vocaloid' had suddenly become global. Everybody wanted a piece of the turquoise-haired, twin tailed diva.

Crypton had been struggling for quite some time- but when Miku appeared, in a burst of stardom that blinded thousands, millions, across the world, Crypton suddenly clawed its way to the top once more. Those who had questioned Sasaki began to praise him, saying he was a genius; saying Akira would be proud of him.

Sasaki had created something special.

Artificial humans who sang with beauty of real human beings- because these robots were more than mere androids. They sang from their hearts.

But Meiko and Kaito, the first Vocaloids created by Crypton, weren't as popular as Miku. If Miku was in the spotlight, they were lost amidst the shadows.

A waste of money.

Time and time again people congratulated Sasaki for their success- but he heard them whispering behind his back, hissing like venomous snakes; "I don't why he insists on keeping those two failures. They don't bring in any money; instead, they drain it, what with their maintenance costs- and they don't give any back. It's not profitable. Think about what Akira would do."

It always came back to that, in a never-ending cycle.

Think about what Akira would do.

Akira was a hardened businessman.

Sasaki might have created a strong business, but as of yet he was no businessman, despite his tie and his suits. Not like his father. Sasaki was too concerned with trying to be kind towards his creations; but that was all they were. Creations. At least, that was what they were to everybody else- and Sasaki couldn't make them see otherwise.

Everybody wanted him to change.

Think about what Akira would do.

* * *

It grew worse when Rin and Len arrived. Pressure had been weighting down on Akira over the past year, increasing as Miku's name became more widespread. The more popular Miku became, the more overshadowed Kaito and Meiko were, despite Sasaki's attempts to keep them singing. Meiko had a minor hit song called 'Conchita', but after that she faded back into obscurity again.

And, all the while, the older people at Crypton kept whispering in the background.

Think about what Akira would do.

He would scrap the old, defunct robots. Akira only looked towards the future- whilst Sasaki was stuck in the past.

Sasaki had to change- or he'd be left behind.

If Crypton lost money, what then? What would happen to Miku and Rin and Len? Surely it was better to uninstall the older Vocaloids so the newer ones could live comfortably? Sasaki didn't want any of them to suffer; they were his friends.

Even so, a nagging voice spoke at the back of his head.

Didn't you create them because you were lonely?

Didn't you create them so they would never die?

And now you're going to kill them with your own hands?

Sasaki decided to become more distant to his family a few months before Rin and Len were born. The prospect of uninstalling Meiko and Kaito was looming on the horizon, and people kept talking- and Sasaki wanted to do his father proud, he wanted to be the success his father had been, and more. But he couldn't do that if he became too attached to his robots. So he distanced himself. He didn't have tea with Meiko anymore, and he didn't play video games with Kaito, and he didn't let Miku borrow his favorite novels.

He didn't want to sit down and pretend to be friends with a group of robots he might, one day, have to terminate.

It was easier if he thought of them as scrap metal. When he remembered they were his friends, it hurt much, much more.

When Rin and Len arrived they were afraid of him. Sasaki could tell by the way they didn't meet his eyes; the way they shifted in their chairs. Meiko hadn't been like that. Neither had Kaito; neither had Miku. From the moment they were born they'd seen 'something' in his eyes (though Sasaki didn't know what that something was), and they'd trusted him. But Rin and Len didn't.

Maybe that 'something' had disappeared.

* * *

The Vocaloids only called him 'Master' now.

It was another way of distancing himself from them. He was their Master, they were his creations. As such, he had a right to take them apart and melt them down and turn them into other Vocaloids, right?

Wasn't that what he wanted?

He was making his father proud.

* * *

In an attempt to recreate their old success Crypton made another Vocaloid, with a voice sampled from Miku's voice bank. Her name was Haku.

Haku, however, was a failure. She couldn't sing high notes without her voice breaking, and sometimes she would burst into tears half-way through songs so she couldn't finish. Her eyes were always red-rimmed, her silver hair messy, her face too pale. It became obvious she was fragile; wouldn't be able to stand the life of a star. Her personality was defunct. Her voice was defunct.

She was broken.

And she reminded Sasaki horribly of his mother.

Sasaki didn't scrap her, as his scientists said. Instead, he removed her from her fellow Vocaloids (they never had to know she existed) and set her up at a house on the opposite end of the city with some of the Vipperloids. Vip2ch was a rival company to Crypton, but their Vocaloid knock-offs were nowhere near as popular or successful as Miku or Rin or Len. Their voices had a scratchy quality, like stuck tapes, and the only people who liked them were those who felt sorry for them. It was a sad fate for a robot designed to sing- but, even so, the Vipperloids, Teto and Ruko, seemed content enough.

Sasaki knew Haku would fit in there. She would be able to make music with the Vipperloids, and she would have friends. The people at Vip2ch could support her, and her existence wouldn't waste valuable Crypton money.

It was perfect.

Haku wouldn't have to die...

And nobody would know she was related to Crypton at all.

A failure.

And then there was Neru. She was a familiar similar to Haku, with a voice sampled from Miku and a strikingly similar design; a blonde side ponytail and the typical shirt and skirt.

Neru, however, had a fierce temper even worse than Meiko's. She bit one of the scientists when he pulled the wires from her, and threw herself into such a fury she had to be sedated so they could properly install her. That was a warning sign; that Neru, whilst easy on the eyes with a fairly nice voice, was destined to be a failure.

She, like Haku, went for an extended stay with the Vipperloids, and never came back.

* * *

By this point the voices whispering behind Sasaki's back began to increase, as they became more and more scathing of him. He couldn't even uninstall Vocaloids who were obviously failures; instead, he pushed them on Crypton's rival company. It was pathetic. He was going soft. Akira would never do that.

Again and again- Akira would never do that.

Sasaki grew worried the other scientists would try to make him leave, despite the fame of Miku, Rin and Len. Sasaki began to fear for his Vocaloid family. What would happen to Meiko and Kaito if another person shut down Crypton? What about Haku and Neru- and the newest failure to their family, Iku? They were allowed to live merely through Sasaki's kindness (a kindness he hadn't quite managed to stamp out), but if somebody else took over the business they'd... disappear.

Sasaki's vision of having artificial humans, with faults and flaws and the ability to say no, was being threatened. If somebody else took over the company they'd re-program all the Vocaloids so they were obedient; all the same with different voices and different appearances. Though Neru was a failure her feisty attitude had sparked something in Sasaki. She could fight back; and that filled him with an inexplicable kind of happiness. She was a real human being, not just a doll. Maybe that was why he hadn't uninstalled her. It would have felt too much like murder. Besides, Neru would have struggled. She was that kind of person.

Sasaki knew he had to act quickly.

He had to show everybody he was decisive; he could still lead Crypton.

He could root out the faulty, unpopular robots and destroy them.

Or...

He could make them likable again.

Then they wouldn't have to die.

Sasaki could save them.

Even if he was their 'Master' and they were only robots.

Soon to become scrap metal.

* * *

The moment Sasaki saw Sakine Meiko, he knew he'd made a terrible mistake.

She wasn't like the real Meiko- not at all. She was too obedient, too self-sacrificing, too... willing to do anything.

She too much like a robot.

Perhaps the other scientists had been experimenting with the ways they constructed personalities; fitting certain base codes into her DNA to make Sakine Meiko incapable of violence or anger or any sudden outbursts that made human beings human and not just dolls. They had eradicated every trace of the original Meiko out of her body; pulled apart her brain with their fingertips and rebuilt it to their liking.

Sasaki had saved Meiko's corpse- but not the inside of her head.

He hadn't saved her thoughts of feelings or memories; and he hadn't even managed to save her personality.

There was blood on his hands.

Maybe he really was a murderer.

Would Akira be proud that his son was a murderer?

* * *

Sasaki had never wanted this to happen.

Never.

He'd never wanted to make his family cry.

* * *

**a/n: **I'm sorry this took so long ;A;  
So, in return... you get a really crappy chapter, I guess XD  
But I'm nearly at the end so yayyy -happydance- :D  
I didn't proofread this chapter as thoroughly as I usually do because I just wanted to get it posted, so there might be a few errors and the like... :/

**~renahhchen xoxo**


	19. Some things never change

**Sakine Syndrome****  
**Chapter Nineteen

_''Some things never change_"

* * *

"I was going to do something horrible... wasn't I?"

Miku winced a little at this question. Sasaki's voice sounded so hollow, so empty, it was almost as if _he _were the robot instead of her. Maybe, in a sense, he was- not in body (Miku's was made of metal, his flesh and bone and blood), but in mind.

Sasaki had been living in his father's shadow for the past seven or eight years. Even though he was supposedly the head of Crypton, the ghost of his father still lingered on the tongues of the Crypton workers and inside Sasaki's own mind.

Sasaki might have been Miku's Master, but he was being controlled by somebody else.

He'd never made a decision purely for himself before.

And that... was just a little depressing.

Even Miku had more control over her own life than that.

She hadn't even known about Neru or Haku before Sasaki told her. The truth had fallen from his tongue with the speed of car crash, in a mish-mashed jumble of words Miku could hardly understand it all. As Sasaki spoke to her, confessing everything as though he were possessed, Miku had sat there and held his trembling fingers between her own. She didn't know what to say that could make it better (nothing could change the past), but she knew maybe, by being there for him, she was helping.

It was all she could do.

Miku wouldn't leave Sasaki- not like Maiko, or Akira.

She would stand by his side forever, because he was her Master, her creator and- above all- her friend.

Miku had never stopped being his friend, even when he began to push the Vocaloids away. Miku had always held onto the hope her best friend would come back one day. She'd always tried to hold onto the hope that one day Sasaki would sit at the kitchen table drinking tea with them once more, as though they were equals.

Sasaki had been asking them for help- and Miku never even realized.

But she knew now.

Miku was going to reach out her hand and save him before he sank any further. That was what friends did, right? It didn't matter that Miku was a Vocaloid and Sasaki was a human; none of that mattered in the slightest.

Mere technicalities couldn't come between friendship.

And Sasaki had been Miku's friend long before he'd been her Master.

"Maybe you were," said Miku, looking up at Sasaki from underneath her eyelashes. "But that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter b-because… because you changed your mind."

"I did. This time," said Sasaki, biting his lower lip. "But... W-what if it happens again? I can hardly, I... I j-just don't know."

"Sasaki-kun-"

"When I look in the mirror now, it's like I'm staring at a stranger," Sasaki said, his voice lower than a whisper, as he stared into Miku's eyes. "I feel like I'm becoming somebody I don't want to be... B-but that doesn't matter, does it? Everybody preferred my father anyway. They'd be happier if I changed. Maybe Meiko-chan wasn't the one they_ really _wanted to be 'updated' after all..."

Sasaki sighed, looking down at the floor. He couldn't hold Miku's gaze for too long; he felt too embarrassed.

Miku, however, wasn't going to allow Sasaki to wallow in self-pity. Everybody had been so _upset _lately; Kaito, Rin, Len, Meiko... Even she had been. And Sasaki, too. But everything was going to get better now. You couldn't change the past, but you _could _change the future. That sounded incredibly corny and stupid, like something from a motivational poster, but Miku knew it was true. 100% true.

There was no point dwelling on things you couldn't change.

You had to move forwards.

Wasn't that why Miku's name meant 'future'?

Miku's eyes hardened. She pulled her fingers away from Sasaki's. Then, moving slowly, tenderly- her heartbeat speeding up just a little because Miku had only seen people do stuff like this on TV and she didn't _really _know what she was doing- Miku cupped Sasaki's face, lifting his head.

Their eyes met.

"M-miku-"

Miku's face flushed. She wanted to be strong; somebody Sasaki could rely on. How many times had she turned to him for comfort when she was upset? He had supported her in the past, and now she had to do the same- but she didn't know_ how_. She was making it all up as she went along, and she felt incredibly uncomfortable, embarrassed. Was she over-stepping a line? W-would her Master let her get so close...?

But Sasaki didn't look like her 'Master'.

He looked like a tired, confused person who needed comforting.

This strengthened Miku's resolve. She wasn't going to back down. Not until she'd made Sasaki feel better.

"You might think you're... not good enough..." Miku paused, took a deep breath. "But _**I **_don't."

Sasaki's eyes widened slightly at this. He opened his mouth a small 'o', the "mi" of 'Miku' falling from his mouth- but Miku hadn't finished talking.

"I like you just the way you are, Sasaki-kun," said Miku, her voice filled with the same determination that flickered in her eyes. "I don't care what anybody else says. You're nice and friendly, and you can't make tea but you always made me laugh- a-and you... y-you..." If Miku's cheeks had been red before, they were scarlet now. "I-I... always... liked you. J-just the way you are. Were. I-I mean… I-I like you."

If Sasaki's eyes grew any wider they were in immediate danger of falling out of his head.

"Do you mean it, Miku?" asked Sasaki, his voice laced with disbelief. "Even after… A-after everything I did and said…?"

"That wasn't the real you. I knew it wasn't." Miku smiled. "That's why I never lost faith in you. I knew you'd do the right thing in the end."

"B-but... Miku, you're not just saying this to comfort me, are you? You're not..." Sasaki paused. A hurt so tangible flickered across his face Miku very nearly winced and drew her fingers away from his cheek; she was afraid his pain would physically scald her. "You're not just saying these things because I'm your Master, are you...?"

Miku gave a soft gasp, as though she'd been hit across the face.

"I-I would never lie to you, Sasaki-kun! Not ever! T-this isn't just a, a, a..." Miku's voice fluttered like the wings of a butterfly, as she searched frantically for the right words. "T-this isn't a master-servant relationship! Not at all! I-I really truly like you! I like you for _you_! A-and I know... I know you like me for me, too."

Miku stared into Sasaki's eyes, willing him to see the contents of her head. She was spilling her heart out for him; he had to understand. Miku didn't want him to feel guilty anymore.

She didn't want him to be alone.

Nobody deserved to be alone.

Nobody deserved to feel unwanted.

Especially somebody like Wataru Sasaki, who had done so much for Miku and her family. He'd given them life and personalities and thoughts and feelings- and, above all, he'd given them the voices to express that. And all of Miku's songs, in some way or another, had been inspired by Sasaki. Whenever she sang, she was singing for him.

"I like you the way you are, Sasaki-kun. Don't change. Don't ever change. You're not your dad- but that's fine. I don't want you to be. I'm sure he was a wonderful person, but you're a wonderful person, too. What the other people think doesn't matter; it doesn't matter at all. Don't lose that... t-that piece of your personality that makes you _you_. Don't ever lose that." Miku sniffed. Her eyes were stinging. "F-for a while, I was afraid I'd lost you…"

Sasaki blinked, looking at Miku in confusion. Then, slowly but surely... a small, tentative smile pulled at his lips.

"I'm sorry, Miku. I'm really sorry."

"E-eep!"

Miku gave a small, surprised squeak, as Sasaki pulled her into an embrace. It was slightly awkward, given they were both sat on uncomfortable plastic chairs, and a little uncomfortable, but Miku didn't care. Sasaki was so warm.

H-he was back.

He'd saved Meiko, and now Miku was going to save _him._

Sasaki rested his head atop of Miku's, his arms wrapped round her back. With trembling limbs and a rapidly-beating heart (her BPM must've been sky-high), Miku returned the embrace. Her eyes were still stinging.

"Thank you, Miku," said Sasaki softly, his eyes fluttering shut.

When Miku tried to reply her voice was strangely fragmented, constricted. "F-for what?"

"For showing me how much of an idiot I was. Simply..." Sasaki smiled into Miku's teal hair. "Simply for being alive. Thank you."

"Y-you're the one who created me, Sasaki-kun. You should credit yourself for that."

"I might have created you, but you grew into this wonderful person of your own accord. You've become a better human being than I ever could be... I-it's funny, isn't it? Haha..."

"Y-you're a good person, too, Sasaki-kun. I always thought that."

"Mn. Maybe your judgment is a little skewed. You're a nice girl, Miku, but... you're not the best judge of character."

"I know what I see, and I think you're r-really awesome!" said Miku, stuttering slightly, her face turning red. With an embarrassed squeak (it was a good thing Sasaki _couldn't _see her face), Miku buried her face in his shirt and wrapped her arms round him even tighter. "Y-you can't change the past, but you can change the future right, Sasaki-kun?"

"Yes," said Sasaki. He smiled. "You can. I can. I'll try become a Master... n-no, not even that. I'll try to become a good friend. A friend worthy of a person like you. I know saying sorry won't take it back but... I'll try."

"N-no. A-an apology is good enough."

Sasaki slowly moved out the embrace. His fingers found Miku's chin, cupping it gently just as Miku had done to him beforehand. Then, ever so carefully, he pushed back Miku's messy teal bangs and smiled.

"Thank you."

Then, he placed a light kiss against Miku's forehead.

Miku's face flushed light pink.

Her eyes felt horribly watery.

She was crying.

W-why was she crying?

* * *

Kaito couldn't stay inside the Crypton headquarters; not when Miku and Master (_Sasaki_, his name was Sasaki) obviously wanted to be alone. Sasaki meant more to Miku than anything. He was more important to her than her career, her voice, and- though Kaito hated to think it (and he knew, even if he asked Miku, she wouldn't admit to it)- the rest of her family.

It wasn't that Miku was a bad person; not at all. She was merely a young girl- who was completely in love.

Even if she didn't recognize it herself.

The atmosphere in the too-white Crypton building had been oppressive, and the sight of Miku holding onto Sasaki's hands had been... painful. It wasn't that Kaito was angry. It was true he saw Miku as a younger sister and, as such, he wanted to protect her- but Sasaki wasn't a bad person. His recent behavior didn't matter.

Well, it did- but Miku didn't care.

She was in love, after all.

Sasaki wasn't cruel. Kaito and Miku both knew that. Sasaki, like other humans, had been warped under the hands of pressure and public opinion, until he became quite unlike his usual self. But if Miku helped him find his way- 'find his light', no matter how cliché that sounded- then Kaito didn't matter.

If they made each other happy, then Kaito couldn't condemn it. He only wanted his little sister to be happy. He wanted Sasaki- his first friend, one of his best friends- to be happy, too.

But seeing Miku and Sasaki together like that had _hurt. _They hadn't been 'happy', not by any stretch of the word. Sasaki's eyes had been strangely hollow, empty, and he'd been trembling. He hadn't looked like their 'Master' at all then; instead, Wataru Sasaki had simply been another fragile, breakable human being.

Just like Meiko.

Miku and Ma- no, _Sasaki-_ hadn't been happy at that precise moment in time- but Kaito could imagine, together, they could make each other happy in the future. And that, well...

Kaito was ashamed to admit it, but it made him feel jealous.

He knew why.

It was...

Kaito took a deep breath, inhaling the crisp winter air. He ran his fingers through his hair, eyes closing, as a frown tugged his lips. It was cold, bitingly cold, and his trademark coat didn't do much to protect him.

An image danced through Kaito's head, ghostly and delicate, like the flakes of snow that spiraled through the air and settled on the grey sidewalk.

Choppy brown hair. Brown eyes. A short temper. But a beautiful smile.

_Meiko._

The old Meiko.

When Kaito thought of her, he felt a slight fluttering in his stomach, like... l-like, well... He knew the others (Rin especially) would laugh at him for even _daring _to think of such hackneyed phrases, let alone applying them _seriously _to his life, but... When he thought of Meiko, it felt as though his innards were filled with butterflies, and he couldn't breathe, and whenever he saw her he couldn't help but smile even though he felt a little bit nauseous.

Maybe he was sick. It would have been easy to convince himself he was sick.

But that wasn't it.

Kaito wasn't that stupid, and he knew what he was feeling, and he knew what it meant.

He...

H-he was in _love._

Maybe he'd always been in love with Meiko, ever since he set eyes on her. Ma- no, Sasaki (his first friend) had guided the nervous Kaito to the table where Meiko sat, disinterestedly filing the nails. Sasaki had tried to engage Meiko and Kaito in conversation, talking cheerfully about life as a Vocaloid and pouring Kaito tea, but Meiko had been quite cold and cutting. Even so, when she did smile...

When she smiled it had been breath-taking.

Even though Kaito had been a little intimidated by Meiko at first, he'd always loved her. He'd tried to hide this from Meiko (not to mention himself) for so long- but when the person he loved was washed away and replaced with Sakine Meiko, he finally understood.

He loved everything about Meiko, even though she had her faults and flaws- and he wouldn't have changed her for the world.

Meiko was getting repaired now. Sasaki was putting the old Meiko back.

But Kaito didn't even know if the old Meiko liked him.

Sakine did, but…

But did that prove anything, really?

Miku was in love with Sasaki (it was obvious, even to somebody like Kaito, who could no more read the atmosphere than he could fly to the moon), and it was fairly obvious Sasaki cared about her, too...

But Kaito didn't even know if Meiko liked him.

Maybe she did.

O-or maybe...

Kaito sighed, his fingers fisting in his hair, tugging at his blue locks with such strength it hurt.

Was he a terrible person, pondering his love life whilst Meiko was laying in the Crypton labs with tubes stuck through her?

He was being so selfish.

And what about Sakine? What would happen to her?

What would happen to them now?

* * *

"Hey, Baa~kaito~ You okay?"

Kaito jumped as he felt fingertips pressing into his back, digging into his shoulder blades. He whipped round suddenly (too suddenly), very nearly falling over and face-planting on the floor. Now, _that _would have been hilarious- for people who weren't called Kaito, of course.

Then again, maybe the snow would've cushioned the blow.

Kaito had to search for the person who'd dared surprise him like that- before, finally, his vision was directed downwards. His blue eyes were met with the sight of Kagamine Rin.

Had she always been that short?

...No, she hadn't shrunk; instead, she'd untied her hair ribbon, which had sheared off a good five inches of height. Kaito wondered why she'd untied her ribbon. That was her main character item; it'd be like if she gave up road rollers and oranges! ...But, after a few moments of thought, Kaito supposed small details like that didn't really matter. Maybe the heavy weight atop of her head had begun to irritate her, or maybe Rin had finally realized that giant ribbon was perhaps the reason why she never grew any taller (it was crushing her).

Rin was smiling impishly, her hands clasped behind her back and she blinked up at Kaito's face. She was still wearing Kaito's over-sized coat, buried in it as though a duvet were wrapped round her shoulders. Len was standing a little to Rin's left, his arms folded. Flakes of snow were catching in his hair, melting and dripping their frosty path down his cheeks.

"H-hi," said Kaito, voice shaking, trying to hide his initial surprise. "U-um... I'm good."

Rin snorted. "That's a liiieee and you know it! Don't lie to me, Bakaito! My amazing eyes see all and hear all!"

"The eyes do not have auditory properties," said Len.

Rin turned round and stuck out her tongue. "Shut up, Len-Len! I mean in, like, a figurative sense! Geez..." Then Rin turned back to Kaito, bouncing a neat 180 degrees on the spot so her 'all seeing and all hearing' eyes were trained on Kaito's face once more. "What's wrong, Kaito-nii-chaaan?~ Shouldn't you be cheerful? Master said he was going to help Mei-chan! Our awesome plan of war succeeded! It was a revolution! The little working drones overthrew the big guy! Yay!~ Cake for all!"

"I don't think we really 'overthrew' him," said Kaito, smiling slightly at Rin's enthusiasm. "It was more like... Ma- um, aheh... Sasaki-kun had a change of heart. Or rather, he remembered the person he used to be. Something like that. Miku could explain it better than I could."

"Yeah," said Rin, wrinkling up her nose. "I saw Mii-chan talking with Master, looking all... Urgh..." Rin made a face. "Lovey dovey. That's gross!"

"Miku obviously doesn't think it's gross," said Len. "I don't think you should judge her, Rin."

"But Master's like... old!" said Rin, throwing her hands up to further accentuate her point. "And Mii-chan's all young and pretty! She's, like, a _robot_- there's no way that'll work out!"

Kaito sighed, looking down at his shoes. He didn't really want to talk about this; not now. For one thing, he felt just a_ little_ bit like a horrible person, discussing Miku's love behind her back. For another, Kaito... didn't really want to talk about 'love' at all. Not now. And especially not to somebody like Rin, who didn't really seem to understand (nor had any desire to understand) the concept.

"A-and I don't get it," Rin continued. "Why would Miku like Master? He's... he's... h-he's a horrible person! Doing _one _good thing doesn't excuse a lifetime of being an asshole!"

"Rin, don't swear," said Len, almost on autopilot.

"Whatever! It's true! I hate him! First he tried to brainwash Mei-chan, then he considered just... j-just _letting her die_, a-and he was saying similar things to you too, Bakaito! He doesn't give a damn about any of us! A-and now you're all just going to forgive him like nothing happened? I can imagine _Miku _being that naïve and trusting and 'oh you didn't mean it really' but... but _really_? I-I don't want Mii-chan to get hurt! And I don't know why you don't do anything about it, Kaito!"

Kaito sighed again. It seemed to be the only thing he could do nowadays- and it didn't suit him. Wasn't he meant to be the light-hearted, cheerful, happy one?

"I can't excuse what Sasaki-kun did," Kaito explained, trying to keep his eyes trained on Rin's unhappy face. "Neither can he, probably. I'm sure he must feel guilty about it."

"Yeah, yeah," muttered Rin under her breath. "That is _quite _the plot development. I was under the impression he had no feelings at all."

"That's not true," said Kaito. "The world isn't as simple as you think... Um, let's see. I-it's..." Kaito paused, searching for the words. _He _knew what he was talking about, but he had to make sure Rin did, too- which was shaping up to be quite a challenge. "The world isn't nicely split up into good and evil and then everybody picks a side, Rin; most people fall somewhere within the middle. Good people do bad things. And vice versa. So I suppose labels like that don't really matter after all..."

"They're interchangeable," said Len.

Kaito nodded. "That's it, exactly! Heh..." He smiled. "You're good at phrasing things, Len-kun."

"Aha, no... D-don't mention it," said Len, also smiling. "I think I understand what you're trying to say. Ineloquently though it is."

"Yeah. You didn't know Sasaki-kun when me and Mei-chan and Mii-chan did, Rin, so it might be hard for you to imagine him as anything other than our Master, but... He used to be a nice person. And I think he always was. He was Miku's best friend, you know? I think she's just glad to have him back. And maybe..." Kaito shrugged. "Maybe they can help each other. And maybe they can make sure something like this never happens again."

Rin pouted, her cheeks puffing out like a blowfish. "I-I... I guess... But I'll never forgive him for what he did to Mei-chan."

"You don't have to," said Kaito. "I'm... finding that a little difficult to do, too."

"Eh?" Rin said, her voice filled with faux-drama. Rin's voice managed, in the space of three seconds, to completely wipe away the tense atmosphere that had previously been blossoming. "You're saying _you're _going to hold a grudge? _Kaito_? Bakaito? The very same Kaito who _apologizes _when he walks into _inanimate objects_?"

"Y-yeah, and...?" asked Kaito.

Rin smiled a cat-like smile. "I knew it... I knew it... Kikikiki~~"

"What do you know?" asked Kaito warily, folding his arms across his chest- perhaps in an attempt to protect himself.

"It's obvious~ Hehe!~ You're totally in loooove with Mei-chan!"

Kaito's eyes widened at this, and he became so pale and still he could have been a paper cut out.

Then his cheeks began to flush.

"N-no I don't!"

"Yes you do!"

"I don't!"

"Dooo!~"

"_R-rin_..."

"Bakaito!"

Meanwhile, Len watched the exchange between the childish pair with a small smile on his face. Wasn't _Kaito _meant to be the adult? What had happened to the 'inspiring speech' he'd been trying to give Rin about morality? Now Kaito was acting like even more of a child than Rin, trying to tug at her hair (all the while going "take it back!"), whilst Rin scooped up powdery snow from the ground and tried to shove it down the front of Kaito's coat.

Maybe some things would never change.

Even after all this, the Vocaloid family were still very firmly together- and nothing would change that.

Nothing.

* * *

**a/n:** The end is so close... I can smell it o:  
If anybody's wondering (lol nobody's wondering) I imagine Sasaki-kuuun to look like an aged-up version of the boy in the 'World is Mine' PV XP

**~renahhchen xoxo**


	20. Secret

**Sakine Syndrome****  
**Chapter Twenty

_''Secret_"

* * *

"Poor thing. She doesn't look too good, does she?" said Kanako, looking down at the unconscious body of Meiko. The Vocaloid was stuck through with wires like some demented science project, and despite her human form it was almost impossible to believe she was a real person with thoughts and feelings.

The Vocaloids were more than robots, though. Kanako- a woman who had been working with Crypton for four years- knew this better than anybody. Sasaki had managed to create something nobody else ever had- not even the famous Dr. Frankenstein of gothic literature.

The Vocaloids weren't literary characters, though. They were real.

Real humans.

A real family.

Sasaki had torn that apart with own two hands, just to prove a point. He wanted to show he was strong- that he had complete control over his 'creations', and he wouldn't be halted by something like 'friendship'.

Kanako knew it was wrong to speak so bluntly about her boss, but he was such a stupid man; painfully stupid. His technical genius paled in comparison to his lack of understanding with human emotions. Sasaki had tried to be the assertive 'alpha male'; tried to echo the footsteps of a father who might have been more respected than him, but _wasn't _him.

Sasaki wasn't his father, and what made his father happy didn't necessarily apply to him. Betraying your own feelings wouldn't bring you joy, and neither would pretending to be somebody else.

It was true that some of the Crypton employees had sniggered behind Sasaki's back, but what did it matter? Kanako would always support Sasaki no matter what. She hadn't known his father. She only knew Sasaki- and she would judge him based on who _he _was_, _not the ghost of a dead man.

Kanako sighed.

Some people really were stupid.

"I don't see what else we can do," said Kanako, folding her arms. "We've stabilized her condition, so from now on we just have to wait…"

"This really is sad. I wish we could do something else…" muttered Shiho. Shiho was only twenty-two; another employee of Crypton, who had been working there for two years. She, like Rin and Len, hardly knew any other side of Sasaki than the harsh, carefully-constructed façade.

At this point, the discussion between the group of scientists was disrupted by a knock on the door.

It was Kaito.

"I-is it okay if I come in?" asked Kaito tentatively. "I-I just want to see Mei-chan. I'm worried about her… B-but, um, if you don't want me here, I guess… I guess that's alright…"

But the tired, defeated tone of Kaito's voice suggested that wasn't 'alright'. It wasn't 'alright' in the slightest.

Rin and Len were together. So were Miku and Master. Kaito had been left alone with his thoughts, his worries and his darkest fears- and he didn't know what to do. Kaito always turned to Meiko in times of need…

But now, maybe Meiko needed him.

Kanako couldn't help but take pity on Kaito. His hair was messy, melting ice crystals caught in the blue strands that shone wetly under the harsh lights. He was shivering, through from cold or unease Kanako couldn't tell. Kaito kept wringing his hands together, looking at the floor, scuffing his shoes and tracking snow-slush footprints on the white ground. He was trying to avoid looking at Meiko…

Maybe because it would hurt him too much.

Kanako felt her heart melt at this sight- pathetic though it was. It was endearing… and further proof the Vocaloids were more than just the singing idols the media painted them as. Kanako knew how terrible Kaito must feel for she, too, had stood around in a hospital waiting room, her heart heavy like a peach pit, as she waited for news about her sister…

Her sister was dying and they hadn't let Kanako see her. She hadn't really understood what dying meant then- but she knew her sister was going somewhere she couldn't reach her, and she'd never be able to see her again.

That knowledge had stung; cutting her so deeply she began to cry, and her parents had to shush her. Her parents had been upset too, and maybe she'd been selfish crying like that when they were obviously suffering too, but she'd only been six. She didn't understand.

She only wanted to see her sister…

It was against standard protocol, but Kanako didn't see what harm it would do, allowing Kaito to see Meiko. Who knew? Maybe his voice would speed up the recovery process. It was obvious he cared about her.

Kanako paused.

Then, she nodded, her sharp eyes softening.

"…Yes. You can see her."

Kanako had been unsure if she was making the right decision- but the look in Kaito's face told her she had, even though her fellow workers began to clamor.

"I-is that really okay?" asked Shiho indignantly. "Y-you can't do that! T-that's against all standard regulations and-"

"And there are some things we can't fix by ourselves," said Kanako curtly. "Trying to 'fix' a human isn't like repairing a car. It's not a matter of putting the right parts in the right places… There has to be 'love' there, too- or you won't get any results. That was why the Vocaloid project was so successful to begin with… Because Wataru-san truly understood that."

Kanako smiled and bowed her head at Kaito.

"You may sit and wait with Meiko-san. The rest of us will leave you be for the time being."

And, with that statement, Kanako began to herd her unwilling team of workers out of the door- leaving Kaito and Meiko truly alone at last.

* * *

She was drifting.

Neither alert nor properly asleep, her thoughts continued to circulate inside her head like a goldfish swimming round a bowl. Thinking was painful, and it was almost impossible to focus on only one image. Instead of trying to concentrate her thoughts into one specific point, she let them merge together, until everything around her slowly began to fall apart.

Nothing made sense anymore.

Who was she?

Where was she?

Why was she here?

These were incredibly important questions. She knew she needed to find the answers... but the prospect of digging inside her subconscious when everything hurt so much was enough to make her feel nauseous.

She didn't want to find the answers. Not if it hurt. It would be like picking at an already closed wound; opening the scars up again in a torrent of displaced skin and bright red blood.

Another thought drifted across her head; not incredibly important, but prominent. If you lay in bed too long you could get horrible sores, wouldn't you? She'd seen a documentary about it once on TV, and it had given Miku (Miku…?) nightmares. A girl with agoraphobia had been unable to leave her bedroom, so she stayed in her bad all day- and as the days melted into weeks and the weeks became months horrible sores began to blister up across her body. That had been bad enough- but then all the sores burst.

Her body became infected, the wounds were inflamed, and then, when the maggots found all that dead flesh…

The end result was fairly obvious.

When that bed-ridden girl's body was finally discovered it had all-but rotted away; the eyes eaten out of the sockets and bone exposed from holes coated in black blood and pus.

She didn't want that to happen to her.

Then again, she was a Vocaloid (that was true, right?) so her body probably wouldn't fall apart like that. Maggots didn't feed on electrical wires and cables.

…That line of reasoning sounded a little bit familiar. Wasn't that was what she'd told Miku (turquoise hair, a pretty voice) when Miku began to get nervous?

"W-what if that happens to me? W-what if I have to go in for repairs, and I say lying down too long, and then I… I…" Miku had said, her eyes filled with fear.

"It won't," she'd said (she definitely said that), rolling her eyes. "Don't be stupid."

"B-but-"

"If the documentary scares you so much just turn it off."

"I-I want to, but..." Miku gave a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of her head. Maybe it was a simple sheepish movement- or perhaps she was checking for any flesh-eating grubs that might have manifested without her knowledge. "W-when you see horrible things like this, isn't it kind of hypnotic? You want to look away, but you can't..."

That memory probably wasn't that important- but it sparked something inside her. One memory that linked to another, and another, and another; thousands and thousands of separate events that made up the fabric of her life.

Events that made her who she was.

All of those memories had been purged from her by Crypton a few months ago. Even when she began to regain her original sense of self some of her vague, dusty memories had remained elusive- shrouded in darkness. But they were all flooding back now.

Her life.

Her personality.

Her _family._

Miku.

Rin.

Len.

And...

"Mei-chan? Mei-chan...?"

It was an overly-enthusiastic male voice; so filled with hope it hurt. He was trying to pin all that hope on _her_. His happiness could only exist if she opened her eyes and sat up; shook off this fog that shrouded her mind and crawled out of this poisonous miasma of pain and confusion. His voice was like a hand reaching to her through the darkness; a blade of light that pierced through the darkness.

White spots of light exploded behind her eyes.

Electricity crackled through her body; behind her eyes, to the tips of her fingers and her toes- and even through every separate strand of her hair.

He wanted her to wake up.

He was waiting for her.

They all were.

And, really... wasn't she being a little selfish, lying here sleeping? Her family was completely hopeless; getting into pointless arguments or freaking out over disturbing documentaries they could just _switch off_ or blowing the entirety of the whole weeks allowance on ice-cream with stupid word-smush brand names. What would they do without her?

She wasn't sure if the answer to that question was funny or terrifying. Maybe it was a bit of both- but she didn't want Miku, Rin or Len to find out what life without her guidance was really like. That was just inviting disaster.

"Meiko, wake up... Please wake up_..."_

She felt fingers interlace with her own. She felt cold and dead, but this person was pleasantly warm; comforting.

Her family needed her.

He needed her.

She… needed them…

And besides, she didn't really want to turn into a bed-ridden corpse like that poor girl from the documentary. That girl's whole body had been bright red and black and purple, bruised because she never moved- infected flesh and endless pain. The pain that girl with agoraphobia felt as she slowly, painfully, wasted away in her bed must have been eight times as worse as her pain now.

She could recover.

She would.

She wouldn't let the freezer become a breeding ground for ice-cream in her absence! That would be unforgivable!

"Mei-chan? Mei-chan...?"

She was going to recover.

She had to.

Then she'd knock some sense into the empty heads of her stupid family members- because they couldn't survive without her and, damnit, she couldn't survive without them.

Slowly, very slowly...

_It hurts it hurts why does it hurt so much got to push past it though pretend it doesn't matter-_

Her eyes flickered open.

Her vision teemed with white spots; bright light; white walls- _who the hell thought it was a good idea to make everything in here one color stupid fucking sadist..._

But the spots soon cleared as she blinked, trying to dispel her nausea, dispel the pain-

To see the bright blue eyes, blue hair, and tentative smile that hid behind it.

"...Meiko... ...?"

There was a pause.

And then Meiko smiled.

"Why do you sound so surprised? Did you really think I'd leave you? ..._Bakaito_."

* * *

Kaito wouldn't be exaggerating if he said that moment- the point where Meiko's eyes fluttered open, like some fairytale princess only with more unattractive facial expressions and wincing (because of course Sleeping Beauty wouldn't look that amazingly beautiful having awoken from her 100 year slumber, right?)- was the best moment of...

Well.

It was the best moment of his entire existence.

Kaito cringed slightly at this thought. D-didn't that sound a little bit pathetic? If Meiko knew, she surely would have laughed at him...

But, then again, maybe she wouldn't have done. It was only natural for Kaito to worry about Meiko. After all, she was his first friend. His best friend. And also...

_Ha._ He wanted to deny it- but it was impossible. He'd never been very good at hiding his feelings, so what was the point in trying?

He couldn't pretend otherwise- and he didn't want to.

He loved Meiko.

He loved her, and when he thought she was going to die it felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. The moment when she opened her eyes, lashes fluttering, lips pulling into a small frown, it had felt like... Like...

Words hadn't been invented that could describe his feelings, and Kaito hardly even understood them himself. The emotions circulating through him were so strong, so... so unknown, that it was almost frightening. He was only a Vocaloid; a robot- not even human. His main purpose in life was to sing (and to consume as much ice-cream as possible without being violently ill or getting brain freeze). Anything other than that, more complex than that, was...

It was confusing.

It hurt.

Perhaps humans were better equipped to deal with this deluge of emotions than Kaito was, being only a robot and- as Rin constantly said- not exactly intelligent. So... was he merely too stupid to understand his own feelings? Kaito worried there might actually be some truth in that statement.

He didn't know what to do.

But... that didn't matter.

Because when Meiko opened her eyes... everything else in the universe seemed to lose all meaning. His life had been dull and grey before- but now, as Meiko smiled at him, everything burst into color like blooming flowers.

"Did you really think I'd leave, Bakaito?" asked Meiko, her voice teasing. Never before had an insult sounded so sweet.

Despite his confusion, Kaito couldn't help but return that smile with one of his own. It was like his lips quirked without any input from his brain (which wasn't all that unusual, actually... Ahaha...)

"I knew you wouldn't leave. You're not that kind of person. You're way too responsible."

"I know. Sometimes I wish I wasn't. It was nice having a month or so off; being able to get some rest, get away from you guys... Haha," Meiko gave a small laugh. Her body was trembling, and she looked as though she were in pain, but there was genuine happiness there, too. Her smile was almost luminous. Incandescent. Illuminating. "But you couldn't manage without me for more than two seconds, could you? Muu... And I was trying to relax..."

"Well, you can't relax anymore," said Kaito, grinning. "Looking after your family is a full-time job, and I won't let you slack off!"

"Huhh?~" Meiko quirked a brow. "And since when did _you _start bossing me around?"

"No reason… I-I just don't want you to disappear again."

"And why is that?"

Despite the car crash mess inside Kaito's head, the answer to that question suddenly seemed so clear; impossibly clear. There was only one thing he could say. He might have felt embarrassed to make such a declaration before, but now...

Now, it felt inevitable.

He had to say it.

I-if he didn't, Meiko might leave again... And they all needed Meiko. The Vocaloid family had to be complete. If Miku or Rin or Len or Meiko went missing, everybody suffered- like a body missing an arm or a leg. But when they were together, they were invincible.

Meiko needed to know that.

Well... she probably knew already. She was smart; she must have realized this a long time before Kaito did.

But Kaito had to ensure she didn't forget.

"Because I only just realized… how much you mean to me," said Kaito, his voice unusually soft and serious. "When you left I felt... we_ all_ felt... Empty. It's like... Um..." He smiled apologetically, ducking his head; trying to hide behind his hair. Urgh- this next part was so cheesy, but he didn't know how else to phrase it. "My life is almost meaningless without you. You give it color."

"Huh? Kaito...?" asked Meiko, her voice questioning. "W-what are you babbling about now? Did you hit your head? I'm the one who's meant to be all 'where am I who am I what is this', not you. Dummy. You're stealing my drama and I want it back."

"Ahh, sorry... I guess I really can't read the atmosphere, can I?"

"No. You can't. You have to let the invalid reveal their deepest darkest secrets after their near-death experience first. Then _you_ can start. Geez. That's the basics of the basics," said Meiko, folding her arms.

It was amusing to see, despite her pain, Meiko was still trying to pick a fight with Kaito.

Len was right.

Some things really never changed.

And Kaito wouldn't have had it any other way.

"Alright... I guess I'll postpone my heartfelt confession for a few moments," said Kaito, lifting his head so he could look Meiko in the eye. His cheeks were slightly flushed, but everything else about him looked completely composed. At peace. "What did you want to say?"

"Oh... Nothing really." Meiko smiled. "Just the same stupid stuff that came from your mouth."

Kaito's eyes widened slightly. "M-mei-chan...?"

"Of course_, I'd_ share my feelings a little more elegantly than you ever could, with more precision and less stuttering. But that can't be helped. You already said everything I want to say, so I suppose... It's the same for me, too. You... All of you... Give my life meaning. And I'd be lost without you. Even when I was 'sleeping', I was still thinking about you. I still wanted to be with you. Even though you're annoying." Meiko laughed and shook her head, brown hair fluttering. "It's stupid, isn't it?"

"I don't think it's stupid."

"And I don't trust your judgment," Meiko shot back childishly, a cruel smile on her face. "But... Haha... I-I guess you give my life 'color' too... Bakaito. And I'm grateful for that. And I'm happy that I can see your stupid, smiling face again."

The light pink flush on Kaito's cheeks grew more pronounced. However, when he spoke, his words weren't helplessly fragmented or broken, as they usually were when Kaito became embarrassed. Instead, he sounded brave. Bold.

"I'm happy I can see you too, Mei-chan. Although I'm not too sure I like the 'stupid' part, eheh... You're always cruel, huh?"

"Always. But... I can make a few exceptions sometimes."

"L-like?"

"I'll show you." Meiko's smile became teasing, mischievous. "If you lean in closer I'll whisper it in your ear, right? A secret... A secret I've been keeping for a long time. Ha... You should feel thankful I'm sharing such an important part of my character with an unreliable klutz like you!"

"I do feel thankful, Meiko-sama," said Kaito, playing along with Meiko's joke with a similar smile. He leant forwards just as Meiko instructed; his face a few scant inches away from hers. "Alright... What did you want to tell me?"

But Meiko never communicated her feelings in words.

She bent her head forwards and- moving quickly (so quickly Kaito wondered whether it had really happened)- she pressed her lips against Kaito's...

And kissed him.

* * *

**a/n: **Yay ^_^; I tried to write a really cute scene at the end, but I don't know how cute it was really... XDD; My feelings with this fic are odd. I never want to write it, but when I actually sit down and start typing I always enjoy myself… XD  
Oh, and Kanako (the scientist at the start) will probably never be mentioned again, but she has a character bio anyway XD Why do I make up such long involved stories for OCs I'll probably never use again? xD  
http : / / renahhchen . deviantart . com / art/MMD-Character-bio-Kanako-213734680  
I like KanaKana though… She's so cute ;A;  
Actually, Shiho (who is mentioned even less) has a back story, too… So I might give her a character bio at some point as well. Along with Sasaki, maybe XD And KanaKana's little sister, because modeling adorable lolis is fun XD

**~renahhchen oxo**


	21. Merry Christmas

**Sakine Syndrome****  
**Chapter Twenty-One

_''Merry Christmas_"

* * *

"Mei-chan! Mei-chan, we're so glad you're okay!"

"T-that's nice, Rin, but-"

"But what? What's wrong, Mei-chan?" Rin squeaked, looking down at Meiko with worry. "Are you okay? Are you in pain? Do you feel sick? What did Master do to you? If he hurt you I'll kill him, I'll seriously-"

"Rin."

Rin started as she felt a hand fall upon her shoulder. She turned her head, though she didn't release Meiko from her vice-like grip. Rin was afraid that if she left Meiko even for a few seconds, Meiko would disappear again; revert to large eyes and a slight figure and honey sweet singing voice that wasn't her big sister.

Rin couldn't let go.

She wouldn't.

Not for anything!

Not even for stupid uber-mature and responsible Len, whose hand was resting on her shoulder.

Len looked relieved, just as Rin did, though there was a faint trace of worry on his face. Rin could tell. Most people found it difficult to divine Len's expressions, but Rin could read them with ease. She was, after all, incredibly amazing and perceptive... and she was his sister, which had to count for something. Twin telepathy was awesome (even if it was mostly a rumor. It would have been cool if Rin could read Len's mind- think of all the potential blackmail material!- but that was only a hopeless dream).

"Geez. Why do you look so sad, Mr. Grumpy-pants?" Rin asked Len, sticking out her lower lip. "Mei-chan's back! She's fine, really really, and Bakaito was hogging her but now the Kagamines have claimed her back in the name of twin powers and road rollers! You should be happy!"

"I am happy," said Len, smiling. "But sis... calm down."

"What do you mean, calm down?" said Rin indignantly, narrowing her eyes. "Mei-chan's back! We were soso_sooo_ worried about her- a-and now you want me to _calm down_? I can't do that!" Rin beamed; her expression caught between anger at Len and giddy, luminous joy over Meiko's recovery. "I'm so psyched up I could sing through the whole Evil series and eat twelve bowls of rice!"

"You only have two songs in the Evil series," Len retorted. He frowned. "Don't forget about me."

"I'll sing your part too, then~ I'd do a much better job! I don't sound like I'm singing through a mouthful of cotton wool, ehehe!~"

Rin's childish comments bit into Len like ice. The best way to annoy Len, as Rin knew full well, was to make fun of his voice. That, or calling him a shota. However, Len managed to suppress his childish desire to squabble with Rin. He had to be the mature one; especially when Meiko looked so ill.

Len breathed in and out, trying to regain his composure.

Then, he took his fingers from Rin's shoulders and lightly flicked her on the forehead.

"I know you're excited to see Mei-chan again, but there might not be much of her left if you keep hugging her like that. You'll compress her body like an aluminum can."

"What?"

"You're squishing her."

"Oh..." Rin turned to look back at Meiko. Then realization dawned in her eyes. She squeaked. "Sorry Mei-chan! I-I didn't mean to hurt you!"

"Then get off me, you fat lump," Meiko shot back, her voice strained. Rin's arms were digging into her sides. It felt as though she were cutting into Meiko's lungs.

"I-I'm not fat!" Rin shot back. "Y-you're mean, Mei-chan! A near death experience hasn't made you any nicer, huh?"

"Get off her, sis."

"Yeah, listen to your brother. He's the one with all the brains."

"Noooo he's not! I'm amazing, too!" Rin shot back, sticking out her tongue. "If it hadn't been for my wonderful leadership skills we never would've found you!"

"Well done. Now let go," said Meiko through gritted teeth.

"I can't! Eheheh..." Rin giggled sheepishly. If she'd been an anime character, an over-sized droplet of sweat would have appeared on her face. "I'm just so happy you're back I can't let you go. I think my arms are stuck like this..."

* * *

Meiko sat in Master's office, her arms crossed and her feet tapping against the floor. Her skin was pale and ghostly, but she was undeniably Meiko again. The original. There wasn't a trace of Sakine left.

Stood around Meiko were the members of her family, all of them trying to stifle silly smiles. It seemed so strange to think, a mere four hours ago, they had been stood in the very same office as all their hopes were pulled away from under their feet. It was different now, though.

Meiko was different.

Master was different.

It was difficult for Rin and Len to accept this sudden change of heart; especially Rin. Len was fairly mature for his age and, whilst he was still didn't trust his 'Master' (or Sasaki-kun, as Miku and Kaito called him. Meiko had settled for 'that idiot') he was able to accept this development. Len couldn't think of his Master as anybody other than the man behind the desk in the suit who passed judgment; the person who held his lifeline in one hand, a pair of scissors in the other. Sasaki had never been Len's 'friend'. However, maybe Len could try and forgive him…

Maybe.

Master must have had some good qualities, or Miku would not have cared about him so much (then again, Miku did had a disarming habit of loving almost every single living creature she came across, so maybe her opinion was a tad skewed).

Rin, however, treated Master with far more contempt.

As Rin looked around her, the white walls of Master's office seemed to press in on her. She shuddered. The room looked exactly the same, to the clinical cleanliness that seemed to tell of an unhealthy, obsessive compulsion, to the pictures of Miku that hung on the walls. It was difficult for Rin to accept Master might have changed when everything around her looked exactly the same.

Rin glared at the wall. The smiling form of Miku, her hair held back by flower hair clips with an umbrella in her hand, looked back at her.

"Okay, let's make one thing clear," said Rin, slamming a palm on Master's desk. "You're not going to mess around 'updating' Mei-chan anymore, okay? She's our big sis and we love her, and she doesn't need to be improved. If you try to screw around with her, or any of us, again I'll hurt you! I'm being dead serious. I will make you wish you'd never been born."

"R-rin-chan!" said Miku, her voice filled with surprise. "Don't talk like that to Sasaki-kun!"

"It's easy for you to say that when you've known him longer, Miku-nee-chan!" Rin shot back, trading words with Miku like a tennis rally. "But I've only ever known 'Master', not Sasaki- and Master, if you'll pardon my language, was a complete asshole."

"Rin! Y-you can't-"

But Miku's confused squeaks were cut off by none other than Sasaki himself.

"I... appreciate that you care so much, Miku..." said Sasaki slowly. His voice was punctuated with more holes than Swiss cheese. It was obvious, by the way Sasaki shifted in his seat, he was uneasy; trying to find the right words to say in a helpless situation. Sasaki directed his gaze to his desk, but... No.

He couldn't run away.

He'd already decided he wouldn't do that anymore.

He had to look Rin in the eye.

The pain and anger in Rin's face was so tangible it almost hurt. Rin was Sasaki's creation, just like Meiko, Kaito and Miku- but she wasn't a mere robot. She was more than that. Rin was a real human. Just because her body was fuelled with electricity, built of science rather than natural biology, it didn't mean she didn't have emotions.

Those emotions were written all over her face; almost blinding.

"Rin's right," said Sasaki after a long pause. "I... was unforgivably cruel. It's the least I can do to reassure you that this won't happen again. I promise it won't, as your creator… and, perhaps, if you'll allow it, as your friend. O-or maybe that's being too hasty, haha… Forgive me. But I won't hurt Meiko anymore. I won't hurt any of you. You're all fine just the way you are, and…"

Sasaki's voice wavered. It looked as though he'd got something caught in his throat- or maybe he just didn't know what to say.

This was a strange sight for Rin and Len. Their Master had always appeared so cool and confident, sat behind his white desk in his white office whilst his lowly, money-making robots surveyed him with equal parts awe and hatred.

The situation was almost reversed now.

Master was apologizing to the Vocaloids. He didn't look so cruel or inhuman anymore. Instead, he appeared nervous, almost… shy? Clumsy? Perhaps there was a little bit of Kaito-like behavior in there, as Sasaki tugged at his tie with trembling fingers.

Even so, Sasaki's gaze did not flicker from the assembled Vocaloids.

He was trying to put everything right.

Even Rin could see that.

"I think you've all become wonderful people. I'm proud of you, even if your development had nothing to do with me and everything to do with each other," said Sasaki. He laughed softly; a quiet, self-deprecating laugh.

"Don't be too hard on yourself, Sasaki-kun."

"Thank you, Miku. Ha… But I just don't know what to say." He shook his head. "At this point, perhaps an apology wouldn't stretch far enough. If you don't want to forgive me, I understand. I… probably deserve it."

"I'll forgive you," said Miku timidly, clenching her hands together at her front. "You're not a bad person, not at all! I know you! You're my first friend… A-and Rin-chan will understand that, too, I'm sure!"

Sasaki sighed. "I wouldn't blame her if she didn't."

"Yeah, maybe an apology is too little, too late now- especially after you nearly killed Meiko."

Sasaki recoiled from this slightly- but it was true.

He couldn't deny Rin's words, and it would be childish trying to do so.

"…However," said Rin, her angry gaze softening, "I guess you're trying. So… just keep working at it, okay? I guess I should wait and see what you do before I start judging you. Though, I swear, if you hurt us again I'll break your fingers- you see if I don't."

"She really would," said Len, nodding.

Sasaki smiled. "Aha… I see. I'll keep that in mind. If only you'd told me that before."

"Ihihi~ That's not the only reason why I'm letting you off the hook, though." Rin smirked deviously. "It's obvious Miku-onee-chan has- who knows why- a huu~uuge, planet-sized crush on you. I shudder to think what she'd do if I kept being mean."

Miku's face flushed bright red. It looked as her whole head was on fire. Her eyes widened to comical proportions and her mouth fell open.

"T-that's not true! I-I don't, I, I, I'm-"

"A terrible liar?" Rin suggested sweetly.

"Don't tease Miku," said Len, tugging at the ends of Rin's hair. "You're being a bully."

"Ooh?~" Rin rounded on Len, her eyes sparkling. "Why're you gettin' so defensive over Miku-onee-chan, Len-Len? Is there something going on here that I'm not aware of?"

Unlike Miku, Len did not loose his cool- mainly because Rin's assumptions (this time) were completely baseless. Len only sighed. Rin really could be childish sometimes- but at least it had helped lighten the atmosphere.

It was obvious Rin still felt distrustful of Sasaki. She stood before him with folded arms, perhaps trying to protect herself. However, just as Sasaki was attempting to be worthy of having Rin's 'friendship', Rin, too, was trying her hardest to overcome a whole year of fear and dislike towards the man she could only ever call 'Master'. It would be a difficult process.

Even so, Rin was doing her best.

…Huh.

Len observed his sister with a newfound pride. Maybe Rin really was growing up after all. Meiko hadn't been the only one changed by this experience- although this might have been a change for the better.

"Do you have a crush, Len-Len?~" Rin cooed, prodding Len in the ribs. "You do know Miku-onee-chan is an older woman, right? She won't want a little shota like you!"

Len narrowed his eyes, needled by the 'shota' comment.

Or maybe he'd been stupid for thinking Rin would ever be anything other than an annoying brat.

* * *

"Hey, I know who you are! You're... Cell phone-chan!"

"Excuse me?"

"You're the girl I bumped into last night. You were shouting at somebody on your cell," Rin said excitedly. Her hands were tracing circular motions in the air; gesticulating wildly as a means to channel her sudden shock and surprise. Rin could never stand still, but now her whole body was trembling- and it had good reason to.

Stood before the assembled Vocaloid family their in Master's office was three people- or 'robots', to be more precise. One of them was Acme Iku, the failed Vocaloid with the sad fate who worked behind the counter at the Crypton lab. The other was a tall, rather plain-looking girl with pasty skin, white hair and red eyes. The third- the final corner of the triangle- was a very, very short (like, even shorter than Len short, which was pretty darn _short_) girl with a blonde side-tail and a scowl. It looked as though that expression was permanently seared onto her face, like a tattoo.

"Oh, I remember," said Cell phone-chan darkly, narrowing her eyes. She had quite the 'arrogant, killer queen' look about her- even more so than Rin when she sang 'Daughter of Evil'. An expression like that was venomous enough to make crops wither and turn black. "You nearly knocked me over, you stupid bitch."

"B-bitch? Urgh! Well, you're a winner for the 'Nicest Person of the Year Award', you... you cheap Miku knock-off! It's your own fault for being so short, I guess I just didn't see you!~ Tee hee hee."

Cell phone-chan clenched her teeth together at this. It looked as though those words had hit a sore spot. She opened her mouth to retort, but Sasaki soon cut her off.

"Rin, Neru, please calm down. I brought Neru, Haku and Iku here for a reason- though Miku already knows what that is," said Sasaki, smiling a tired smile at the teal-haired Vocaloid. All of a sudden Sasaki looked a lot older than he truly was. There were wrinkles beginning to form under his eyes, and he looked horribly tired.

"What reason?" asked Len cautiously, looking between Haku, Iku and Neru. "Unless it's important, I rather think we should get Meiko home..."

"Are you saying I'm not important?" Neru snapped at Len. Two pink spots began to bloom across her cheeks. "N-not that I care what you think of me or anything. I don't need your approval! I've been doing just fine without it!"

Len remained calm. "I'm sorry if I insulted you. I was just saying-"

"I don't care what you were 'just saying'!"

"Neru, I... appreciate than you have a right to be angry. However, I would prefer it if you were silent for a few moments," Master said tiredly, his fingers pressing against his temple. "Please?"

Neru paused, her expression still caught somewhere between a blush and a glare. However, she did (eventually) nod her head.

"Good." A small smile spread across Sasaki's lips. "I should have told you sooner... Perhaps it's too much information to take in- but I'll do my best. I think Rin would agree that I need to prove what I said earlier, about how I've changed... So I decided. You need to know."

"What do we need to know?" asked Kaito hesitantly.

"It's difficult to explain. Um... I know you've never met Neru or Haku before, but they know about you."

"What do you mean?" said Rin, putting her hands on her hips. "Enough of the cryptic stuff! It's annoying! We're not playing Final Fantasy here- this doesn't need some big, convoluted story line that makes no sense! Just tell us!" She stamped a foot on the floor.

Haku winced. Neru, meanwhile, rolled her eyes and muttered something like _'how childish'._

"To get straight to the point... Rin. Len. Meiko. Kaito. And Miku, too. I should formally introduce you to these new members of your family."

Rin's mouth fell open. Kaito could only blink in shock.

It was Len who broke the silence. Trying to remain calm, he said, "...What do you mean? They're... Vocaloids?"

"Failed experiments," said Neru darkly. "Embarrassments. So we were hidden out of sight. Master's a nice guy, huh? There's nothin' like knowing you're such a failure your 'Master' doesn't even want to see your face." Neru marched forwards, stabbing a finger in Len's face. Len couldn't help but note her nails were painted banana yellow. "And you think you have problems, hmmm?~ At least Master actually talked to you, bothered with you... He didn't give a shit about us."

Len's voice trembled. "N-neru-san...?"

"That's Akita to you. You don't what it was like, watching the Vocaloids perform on stage, listening to their music... knowing that will never be me," said Neru, her voice trembling with rage. Her face was still slightly flushed, though- and it had only increased when she walked closer to Len. She scowled, turning round, side tail hitting Len in the stomach. "Not that I care. I don't want to be like you. Haha... Why would I want that?"

"Neru-"

"Don't pity me!" Neru snapped. "And I already told you- it's 'Akita'."

Meiko's long-suffering sigh managed to break the tension. All the assembled people, both Vocaloids and human, turned to look at her.

"What's wrong, Mei-chan?" asked Kaito worriedly. "A-are you okay? Are you-"

But Meiko cut across Kaito's worried babble with ease.

"I guess that means we've got more mouths to feed now. Our family never stops getting bigger- and it's filled with such troublesome people, too..." Meiko shook her head. "Well... This is a nice Christmas present. You should've wrapped them up in a box, Sasaki. I'm disappointed."

* * *

**a/n: **And now everything is being sorted out :D I love Neru :3  
Not much Meiko/Kaito interaction, huh...? Don't worry- that's for next chapter ^_^'''  
Yay ^_^;;

I hope this doesn't seem too filler-ish. I mean, important stuff happened. It's just not heavy on the romance...  
This is where the 'family' aspect of this fic comes into play, I guess XP

Somehow, I don't think this chapter was too well-written… :/ It sounds kind of clunky…

**~renahhchen xoxo**


	22. Second chances

**Sakine Syndrome****  
**Chapter Twenty-Two

_''Second chances_"

* * *

It had been roughly three weeks since Meiko returned home from the Crypton building.

Christmas had been a joyless, empty husk of a festival, spent mainly inside the snow globe-esque confines of Master's too-white office that would put Antarctica to shame. The revelation that the Vocaloids' Christmas present from Sasaki was a bad-tempered tsundere (as Rin called Neru), a shy drunkard and a well-endowed maid had been almost like a bombshell- but it hadn't made Christmas 'fun'.

If anything, it had made Christmas... awkward. Especially as Neru liked to remind everybody, at fairly frequent intervals, that she hated everything under the sun and her best friend was her cell phone.

...There had also been that bit where Haku started crying when Miku asked her, quite earnestly, whether she liked singing.

However, the Vocaloids- despite this sudden influx of unknown family members- had tried their best. Whilst Neru, Haku and Iku still lived with a group of UTAUloids, Miku constantly invited the group over to the main house for tea, home-made leek cookies and friendly conversations.

Trying to have a 'friendly conversation' with Neru was a little like trying to get blood from a stone, but Miku- bless her- tried her best.

It was a surprise Neru even deigned to talk to the other Vocaloids at all. She acted about as friendly as a cactus, and her words were even sharper. However, Len strongly suspected most of Neru's hostility was an act.

She probably felt lonely.

Lonely, and a little overshadowed.

What would a failed experiment, who had been disinherited by her own Master, feel around a famous idol like Hatsune Miku? Surely she would be intimidated- and maybe that was why she was so cruel. To hide her own insecurities.

The Vocaloid family- Rin included- had managed to come to that conclusion during a private conversation, and they all vowed to be extra-nice to Neru, Haku and Iku... even if Neru made that a little difficult.

Still, even more disconcerting than Neru's constant anger, Haku strongly resembled a zombie. Her skin was pale; far too pale. It was almost as if she'd been trapped under an icy lake for ten years and the blood had frozen in her veins. She looked so depressed it was a little painful trying to talk to her at times- but Miku and Kaito, armed with their bright smiles and inability to read the atmosphere, constantly tried to coax her into conversations.

Finally, after two weeks, Kaito and Miku made a great breakthrough with Haku.

They managed to make her smile.

Three new family members might have been a burden more than a Christmas present, but the Vocaloids didn't see it that way (not even Rin, who kept complaining because Neru would steal all her mandarins even though she didn't actually like them).

"The more the merrier, right?~" Miku said, smiling.

The others had to agree.

It really wasn't so bad.

Christmas might have been a disaster, but Miku scheduled a second Christmas three weeks after the first where they could exchange presents and eat as many leek cookies as they wanted (Miku was the only one who wanted). There had even been a tree!

It had been fun, light-hearted. When Neru received her presents she became suspiciously misty-eyed and red-faced- and when Rin caught her and Len under the mistletoe Neru's whole head had burnt red, as though she was on fire. She hadn't actually kissed Len; instead, she'd stamped on his foot and marched off... But it had been kind of funny.

In a way.

It took Meiko a few days to recovery from her operation, but she was a strong person. She'd been knocking back celebratory 'Christmas' sake with Haku, and when she spoke it was using her own voice- not a sugar-sweet version a pitch higher.

Meiko truly was back.

When you looked at her, it was impossible to see Sakine anywhere.

And...

Maybe that was why Kaito felt so uneasy.

* * *

Kaito sat on a nondescript bench in a nondescript part of town, his head tipped back as he stared up into space. The sky was steely blue like metal, and it looked as though it weer going to rain. It was the beginning of February, and though the weather was still cold it hadn't snowed for a while. Nevertheless, Kaito still trembled as he huddled into his coat and scarf. It was nice that his character design was actually practical when it came to winter- unlike poor Rin, whose attire really did put the 'short' in 'shorts'.

Not that Rin wore her Vocaloid outfit in public, anyway. It would have caused too many raised eyebrows, unwanted glances from old men, and fame. Surprisingly enough, when Rin took out her signature hair ribbon and wore a shirt and pants (or her favorite green cardigan, complete with ketchup stains that never seemed to fade) it was fairly difficult to place her as a world-famous celebrity robot.

Clothing issues weren't really at the forefront of Kaito's mind, however.

He had been sent out by Meiko to complete the weekly shop, but that had been... oh, roughly five hours ago. When Kaito had been sat on the bus, being jolted around whilst his nose was assaulted by the smell of cabbage and kitty litter in a woman's shopping bag, the sun had been (weakly) trying to shine through the cold. Now, however, it was just miserable.

Dark and miserable, no less.

Around Kaito's feet were an array of plastic carrier bags. However, he had no desire to return home yet. He didn't think he could.

And it wasn't because he'd splurged and bought a lifetime supply of ice-cream and now he was afraid Meiko was going to punch him, either.

Kaito sighed.

Maybe he was being silly, but...

But he couldn't forget about Sakine Meiko.

He'd been caught up in the happiness of the real Meiko returning, and his rush of feelings for her, that he hadn't given the young sixteen-year-old Meiko with the sweet voice and shy personality much thought. Now, however, he...

He felt...

Sick.

He felt as though he'd eaten too much ice-cream, because his insides were cold and it hurt to think (although Rin- and now, Neru- would have said it always hurt Kaito to think; which was why he did so little of it).

Kaito should have been happy. He should have been back in the warmth of the Vocaloid household, putting the shopping away in the kitchen whilst Rin tried to steal all the oranges before Neru could and watching Miku bake more of those leek cookies (which were really, _really_ horrid- not that Kaito had the heart to tell her).

That was what Kaito should have been doing.

Not sat on a bench in the cold like a loser, his fingers feeling numb and his shopping bags resting against his feet.

Kaito... liked- n-no, not even liked.

He sighed, closed his eyes- tried to compose himself.

He wasn't a child.

He was an adult, and he could admit something like this to himself without feeling embarrassed. He _could. _Probably. Most likely. If he got his damn heartbeat under control.

...Kaito_ loved_ Meiko.

He really did.

However, whenever he saw her smiling face, he didn't just see Meiko. He saw that younger girl; the girl who had loved him so much, who went out of her way to make him happy, but who- instead- made him miserable. Merely because she existed. Well, she didn't exist anymore.

She was... dead?

Had she ever been alive? She was another part of Meiko- and yet, at the same time, she wasn't Meiko at all. She was based on Meiko, but she wasn't. She was her own person with her own feelings; a whole new personality. She had been like a parasite inside the old Meiko's body, but that wasn't her fault. It was Crypton's.

Sasaki's.

Kaito had hated her- and yet, at the same time, he'd pitied her, too.

And, though he loved the old Meiko more, he'd never wanted her dead.

W-was she dead...?

Kaito winced at that word. It was even harsher than the notion of being in 'love', and it hit Kaito's heart like a slap across the face.

Kaito had been so preoccupied with getting the real Meiko back that he hadn't thought about the consequences. Now, the implications of Sakine Meiko's disappearance had crept up on him; strangling him in his sleep until his dreams were haunted by dead, empty eyes of a girl who used to love him.

A girl who no longer existed.

Kaito couldn't look at the real Meiko anymore without feeling guilty. Ill. Sickened.

Not with Meiko, but with himself.

Did the others feel the same? Maybe they did- maybe they didn't. Kaito didn't know. Or maybe they knew something he didn't. Miku _had_ been spending a lot of time with Sasaki lately...

Urgh.

Now Kaito was being paranoid; accusing his family of withholding information from him. Why would they do that? They wouldn't.

Stupid.

He was being stupid.

He had his happy ending; why was he trying to spoil it?

_Because you're not a child and you're way too overly-emotional to be selfish. You were selfish before- but you can't be now, because you realize how horrible it feels knowing you (inadvertently) helped a young girl die._

_This is no different than what happened to Meiko._

_However... it came down to a choice between Meiko and Sakine- and you picked Meiko because you knew her better and you liked her more. But you never even tried to talk to Sakine. You never stopped to find out anything about her as a person; and it's too late because she's gone now._

_You're an idiot._

_Stupid._

_Stu-_

"-pid! Idiot! Bakaito, what on _earth _are you doing?"

A cheery voice- definitely female, and slightly taunting- broke through Kaito's inner monologue with ease.

Kaito looked up, confused ("so no different from usual, then", Rin would have quipped).

Two girls were stood before Kaito. One was fairly short, with bright red hair tied up in two logic-defying twin drills that probably took longer to style than it was worth. She held a brown paper bag in her arms. It was steaming slightly. Most likely it was full of food. There were numerous street vendors dotted about- and warm sweets on a cold February evening was a very charming idea.

The other girl was... Well. She hardly even looked like a human- not that she didn't have arms or legs or a head, because she did. She had the correct number of limbs in the correct places. She was, however, a giant. She was easily seven feet tall; her shadow eclipsing Kaito as he sat on the bench. People in the street gave this girl a wide berth when they saw her, as though they were afraid she'd step on them. She had mismatched eyes and two pigtails that seemed rather off-putting given how tall she was.

Kaito didn't recognize them- but, apparently, the red-head knew his name.

"Man, don't stare at me with that open mouth," said the red-head, rolling her eyes. "I didn't say anything weird, did I?~"

"You... know my name..." said Kaito, after a small pause. "I never told you it."

Maybe she was psychic?

Or maybe Kaito was having a nice, friendly hallucination brought about by stress, guilt, a severe lack of ice-cream and being in the cold for four hours. You never knew; it could be possible. Stranger things had happened.

"Yes. I do know your name." The young girl nodded, crushing the paper bag closer to her chest as she did so. "Because you're a Vocaloid, dummy. Everybody knows who you are."

…Huh.

So not a psychic, then.

That was disappointing.

"O-oh..." said Kaito, after a small pause.

He felt a little embarrassed by this. He should've known. After all, it wasn't the first time a seemingly random stranger had come up to him in the street, going 'y-you're Kaito! I love you!'

It didn't happen all that often, though. Generally, Kaito's fans never liked Kaito for Kaito; they liked him because he was the only male Vocaloid who lived with Len and, therefore, they were 'shipping bait.'

It was a little sad being liked not for your own talents, but because you were male and had a short, adorable friend who was also male, but Kaito had learnt to take it in his stride. It was nice having fans.

Even if some of them were a bit creepy.

"O-of course that's how you know me… Haha." Kaito laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head (somehow, that action and sheepish laughter went hand-in-hand, though he didn't know why. You couldn't have one without the other). "And you are...?"

"Eh? You don't even know?" the redhead's eyes widened. "That's so mean! Really, really mean! And I was gonna offer you a taiyaki too. But they're alllll mine now because you're stupid and you don't deserve my pity food. So ha ha ha. You fail."

"Teto-chan," said the giant girl, laying a hand on her friend's shoulder. That hand could have crushed a mountain lion's windpipe in seconds. "C-can't you be a little more civil?"

"Hm?" Teto frowned. Then, she proffered the paper bag to her friend, rustling it in her face. "Oh, are you hungry? D'you want a taiyaki, Ruko-chan?"

"No... I don't think I need the nutrients. I-I don't want to grow any taller..."

"Hehe. Good point. I already need, like, a stepladder to look into your eyes already."

Ruko flushed. "Don't be mean..."

"I'm not. I'm being truthful!~," Teto trilled. "People always get upset when I do that, though…"

"There are some situations where you should be truthful and others where it's not needed…" muttered Ruko.

Teto shrugged. With that, she took a fish-shaped taiyaki out of her bag and bit into it at a random spot; the head. Munching through a mouthful of azuki bean and waffle batter, Teto continued to speak.

"Anyway. Re-do!~ Let's start again, Bakaito~ M'name's Kasane Teto, and this is Yokune Ruko. We're UTAUloids."

Teto clutched the paper bag to her stomach with one hand. She wiped her free hand on her sweater before she extended it- the fingers still dusted with pieces of bean paste and taiyaki- to Kaito.

Kaito shook it nervously.

This girl seriously had too much energy. It was a little disturbing. Not even Miku was this ridiculously cheerful all the time.

"Wait..." said Kaito, his fingers still laced between Teto's, "an... UTAUloid?"

Teto nodded, her drills bouncing. "That's what I said!~ Have you heard of me now?"

"Y-yes! There was something on the TV about you... I think," said Kaito. "A-and... Sasaki said you live with Neru-chan and Haku-chan and Iku-chan...?"

"Bingo," said Teto brightly. "You're right!~ And I want to have a serious talk-" here, her eyes narrowed, though she was still smiling playfully, "-about you monopolizing our family members. Budge up."

"H-huh...?"

"On the bench. You're taking up all the space. Shift your fat bottom and let me sit down."

"O-oh... Of course."

Kaito moved up, scooting to the very end of the bench. He took his shopping with him; the plastic bags now resting on his knees (somehow, he didn't trust Teto. He got the feeling she'd try and steal his shopping for a joke. That, or she'd smear adzuki bean paste over everything). Teto sat down with a 'thwump' next to Kaito. Ruko looked a little confused, unsure whether the invitation to sit had been extended to her- but Teto grabbed hold of her wrist and pulled her down anyway. It wasn't like she had a choice.

Kaito had a very strong feeling that the element of 'choice' was completely thrown to the wind when Kasane Teto decided she wanted to do something.

She was another very scary person…

"Now, Kaito-kun. To business," said Teto. "First, however... Since you know who I am and all, I decided I'll be nice. You want a taiyaki?"

"Not really. I'm not hungry."

Teto shrugged. "Suit yourself. They're really, really good, though. Not as good as French bread, but whatever." Teto bit down into her poor, abused treat once more, adzuki beans frothing out over the gaping wound in her pastry fish. She wasn't the worlds most ladylike of eaters, though Rin was probably worse (not that it was a competition).

"Anyway," said Teto, speaking through more food, "Sasaki-kun was talkin' to us, like, three weeks ago. Said Neru-chan 'nd the others are actually failed Vocaloids- which was a surprise."

"We assumed... they were UTAUloids... like us," Ruko explained. Her voice was strangely shy and stilted, and a light pink blush was never far from her cheeks. Apparently, she didn't like talking to strangers; not even if that stranger was 'Bakaito'.

"You're totally stealing Neru-chan and Haku-chan and Iku-chan from us and we want them back!" Teto wailed, latching hold of Kaito's arm and shaking him. "It's really uncoo~ool!"

"I-I'm sorry," Kaito apologized. "I... didn't realize they had such a loving family already. I-I didn't mean to steal them from you."

"Hm." Teto smiled, taking another bite of her taiyaki. "That's okay, I guess. Just don't upset them, or I'll beat you up. I'm a chimera, you know. I'm thirty-one years old."

"You're also a pathological liar," Ruko muttered- but Teto soon gave her swift jab in the ribs with her elbow.

"Hehe~ Ruko said nothing~" Teto beamed. "Although... That's not all I want to talk about! It's lucky I ran into you, Kaito-kun~ I was going to visit the Vocaloid household at some point anyway, but I never got round to it-"

"You mean you've been too busy lying under the kotatsu eating my Christmas chocolate."

"Shut up, Ruko~~ I mean, I was totally going to visit you and have a chat about how Neru-chan and Haku-chan and Iku-chan are- they're frail and you can't abuse them!- but we can talk here anyway. It's fine. But... The next topic of conversation is a little more delicate."

"Delicate...?"

This was a novel idea. Kaito had only known Teto for a few minutes (of course, he'd known her by name, but this was the first time he'd actually met her), and already he was under the impression Teto couldn't handle anything 'delicately' if her life depended on it.

"Mm." Teto nodded. "Our happy happy UTAUloid family might be losing three members... But this morning, we also gained another. So I guess it's give-and-take. Maybe Sasaki felt mean for robbing us of Neru-chan's _pleasant _company, eheh."

Kaito's eyes widened. Somehow, he thought he might know who the newcomer to the UTAUloid household was.

If it wasn't then why would Teto mention it? Obviously, this newcomer was important.

…Or maybe he was just being overly hopeful.

Foolish.

Naïve.

It didn't hurt to hope though, surely?

"A-another person?"

Teto nodded. "Funny thing is, I already knew her. I'd met her before. We baked cookies. And yet, when I saw her again, she... didn't really remember. She had huge holes in her memory, you see- though Sasaki-kun said he was trying to fix that. She's still a work in progress. But he thought she might heal better if she was in the company of a super-friendly high-energy girl like me!~ 'Specially as we were already friends."

"No..." said Kaito, after a small pause. He hardly dared to believe it. "Y-you can't be talking about..."

But Teto was.

She smiled.

Then, she nodded.

"I am. And I hope you've decided you like cookies now, 'cause when I teach her how to bake- _again_- you're gonna have a lot of food to eat up, Mister." Teto pouted accusingly, jabbing a finger into Kaito's ribs. "She doesn't remember too much, but she does know that she wants to be your friend and you weren't particularly nice to her. Oh!~ The woes of young love. You better make it right this time." Teto's eyes narrowed. "I mean, you had an excuse before, but if you upset her _again_- 'specially after Sasaki-kun spent so long trying to remake her- I might have to beat you up. You know how difficult it is being a big sister- or brother, in your case- right?"

"Y-you mean she's not... She's not..." Kaito could barely say the words. He felt, if he spoke them, this happy scenario would dissolve; trickling away from his cupped fingers like water.

But it was real.

He pinched himself- and it definitely was. It hurt.

The air was still cold; a biting February breeze that chilled to the bone.

He could still smell the taiyaki in the air- mixed with the scent of food from various other street vendors.

He could still feel the bench underneath his fingertips.

It wasn't... a dream.

It really, really wasn't.

She was alive.

"S-sakine Meiko is... okay?"

"No," said Teto, voice deadpan. "I was talking about the zombie pirate ninja."

The look of confusion on Kaito's face was so hilarious Teto couldn't help but laugh, even though Ruko sighed and gently admonished her.

"Of course I'm talking about Mei-chan, _Baaa_kaito," said Teto, giggling. "Who else? But here's a word of warning to you~ Don't mess up this time."

* * *

**a/n: **Teto-channn :D  
I introduced her early; of course she'd show up again ^_^;;  
Okay. Next is the epilogue. And maybe- if I'm feeling generous- an omake or two after :D  
YAYYYYYYY :D

**~renahhchen xoxo**


	23. Fixing problems with fish shaped sweets

**Sakine Syndrome****  
**Chapter Twenty-Three

_''Fixing problems with fish-shaped sweets_"

* * *

"Bakaito, where on earth have you been?"

"Um... Shopping?" Kaito laughed sheepishly.

He would have rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment (he couldn't help himself- whenever he was 'sheepish', he had to rub the back of his head! It was a _compulsion_!) but he couldn't, given his hands were weighed down carrier bags.

Kaito was stood on the doorstep of the Vocaloid house, shivering into his coat whilst the shopping bags cut grooves into his hands. A lukewarm, fish-shaped taiyaki was nestled in Kaito's coat pocket, courtesy of Teto, but he hadn't eaten it yet. Instead, it had been slowly bleeding heat into Kaito's side for most of his journey home on the bus, and then for his walk back to his house in the dark and the cold. It was truly a strange experience, having a small portion of your body heated up by a fish-shaped sweet whilst the rest of you was freezing cold. Kaito wasn't sure whether he wanted to replicate the bizarre sensation any time soon.

Rin was stood, arms folded, in the doorway of the house. It looked like she'd just come out of the shower. Her blonde hair was damp, bangs tied back in a ponytail that stuck straight out of her scalp like an alien's antenna. She was dressed in her pajamas, and she had a scowl on her face.

Mm. Kaito could feel the warmth from inside the house calling to him.

Why wouldn't Rin let him inside?

...Oh.

Right.

Because she was a sadist.

How silly of him to forget.

"You were out shopping for six hours," said Rin, rolling her eyes. "I know you're a moron, but not even _you_ would be able to manage something like that. You didn't even bring your cell phone."

"I... forgot...?"

"What's the point of having a cell if you're not going to take it with you? If you're planning to take a quick detour on your shopping trip to the bowels of the universe or some such thing- and I'll still not convinced _that _would take a whole six hours either- then you really should have the foresight to bring your cell with you. Idiot."

It was unusual to hear Rin talking like a responsible adult- especially given there was a piece of hair sticking straight up, vertically, from her head. It was a little like being lectured on the sanctity of life by Vlad the Impaler (not that Kaito had ever met the man, given that he was dead. Kaito didn't make a habit of fraternizing with those who were no longer living).

"Mei-chan was really worried about you, you know," Rin continued.

"S-she was?"

"Yeah. She tried to pretend she didn't care, but she totally did. She probably thought you'd been kidnapped by rabid yaoi fangirls again, like last time."

"T-there wasn't a last time!" Kaito said, flushing slightly. "D-don't make up stories like that! The media'll report anything these days… Rumors like that are dangerous!"

Rin smirked. "Well. Even if it hasn't happened yet, it's still a possibility. I _miiii~ght_ have been debating the pros and cons of selling all your personal details to some of your more... _intense_… fans for a very reasonable price of one thousand yen."

"T-that's an invasion of my personal rights!"

"It's also an awesome money-making scheme me and Neru came up with. We're going to split the profits fifty fifty."

Kaito shuddered- though not from the cold.

Neru and Rin joining forces? That... truly_ was_ a horrifying thought.

"Don't talk about things like that as if you're definitely going to do it!" Kaito moaned, shifting from foot to foot and rustling the carrier bags in his hands. "Can't you let me in the house? It's really cold out here."

"I will if you promise you'll talk to Mei-chan."

"Why _wouldn't_ I talk to Meiko?"

"Hmm, I don't know," said Rin, her voice laden with sarcasm. "Maybe 'cause you've been avoiding her for the past two weeks."

"O-oh... Aha..." A nervous laugh. "Is it really that obvious? I was hardly even aware I was doing it myself..."

"Well, some of us are more perceptive than you, Bakaito. You really are helpless."

"Alright, alright," Kaito said, defeated. He sighed. "I already feel like an idiot ninety percent of the time. You don't need to make it any worse. I promise I'll talk to Mei-chan. I've been... kind of stupid. And I should probably apologize."

"Mm. That you have," said Rin, nodding. "Alright. Get inside. I don't want you to catch a cold and die of exposure- 'cause cleaning my big brother's corpse off the front garden in my pajamas sounds _sooo _not fun."

"Thanks, Rin," said Kaito sarcastically, slipping past Rin's slight form into the lovely warmth of the main house. "It's nice to know you care."

"I know. I'm a paragon of virtue."

"Even though you've seriously been considering selling my soul to my fangirls for one thousand yen?"

"You should be happy you have any fans at all, really. An unpopular guy like you can't afford to be picky."

"...Wow, thanks. I feel so much better about myself now."

Kaito and Rin had made their way into the kitchen at this point. It smelt vaguely of leeks from Miku's leek cookie obsession, but they both tried to ignore this. Kaito was resting his hands on the radiator (despite a passing Len's comments that 'you shouldn't do that, you'll get chilblains'), whilst Rin pottered about making herself hot chocolate. Kaito's fingers were burning- though, from cold or intense heat, he couldn't tell.

Maybe Len had been right about not putting his icy-cold fingers on the radiator, then.

Ow.

Ow ow_ ow._

Kaito really should listen to Len more. He- along with Meiko- was the only person in the whole house with any sense.

…Well, that wasn't strictly true. Rin had sense, too. She just used it for evil instead of good, in warped money-making schemes with Neru.

Honestly. Rin had no right criticizing Sasaki for his business dealings when Kaito half-suspected she'd willingly sell Len's organs on the black market for some spare change.

Perched on the table-top (what was wrong with a chair?) whilst the hot water boiled, Rin stared at Kaito. She smiled impishly.

"You know, I think it's a good thing you don't have many fans, though. Otherwise, Mei-chan might get jealous."

"W-what are you talking about?"

Rin smiled. "You'll have to go ask Mei-chan for yourself, won't you? Stop trying to put if off."

"I-I'm not trying to-"

And then Kaito paused. He realized he was, effectively, giving himself third degree burns just to avoid talking to Meiko for a few more seconds- and if that didn't class as 'putting something off', he didn't know what did.

...Maybe Rin had a point.

* * *

"H-hey, Mei-chan..."

Kaito hovered awkwardly on the threshold of Meiko's bedroom, wringing his hands together behind his back. He'd knocked on her door before he entered first, of course, being a gentleman (i.e. he'd learnt a year ago not knocking before he entered Meiko's room was a sure-fire way to get severely injured), but Meiko hadn't replied. However, Rin had oh-so-helpfully reassured Kaito Meiko was in her room, and if she wasn't replying it was because she was annoyed and sulking.

Following Rin's comment Meiko had replied through the door, voice petulant and rather more childish than usual, "I am _not _sulking!"

Rin had cackled at this and gone off on her merry way, hot cocoa in hand, to... presumably spread despair and misery to the rest of the world (it was all Rin seemed to do). That had left Kaito stood outside Meiko's door, still unsure of how, exactly, he was going to get Meiko's attention.

Kaito had deliberated for quite some time- was his life really worth sacrificing for a two minute conversation with his best friend?- before he actually entered her room.

Thus, that brought him to his greeting- "h-hey, Mei-chan"- and, in turn, that resulted in Meiko's reply:

"Don't you 'hey, Mei-chan' _me_!"

Meiko grabbed hold of the nearest available object- a pillow- and then sent it flying in Kaito's general direction. It was thankful she didn't pick up anything heavier, like a book. Pillows were easier to deal with.

"Where have you _been_?" Meiko snarled.

After a moment of thought, Kaito decided to recycle his previous reply from his conversation with Rin.

"...Shopping?"

"For _six hours_?"

Because, of course, that reply went down _so_ well last time.

Kaito sighed. He really was stupid.

"I know you're an idiot, but I'm not prepared to suspend my disbelief that far!"

Why did _everybody_ call him an idiot?

Life wasn't fair.

…Then again, he called himself as such on a fairly regular basis, too, so maybe he couldn't complain. As Neru would say, 'the truth hurts. Now suck it up, moron.'

"I'm sorry," Kaito said, shame-faced, as he looked at the floor. He wasn't sure whether he was allowed to look at Meiko's eyes (what if they turned him to stone?), and taking one more step into her room seemed like a 'Very Bad Idea'. "I... just got distracted. Thinking."

"Oh, that's a first," said Meiko snippily. "Thinking about _what_?"

Kaito bit his lower lip. His cheeks flushed.

What to say?

Damn. He really hated being put on the spot like this; especially as he didn't trust himself to give a suitable response. He was no good at communicating his feelings so other people could understand them. Hell, he hardly understood his feelings _himself _most of the time! How could he make other people understand what he didn't understand himself?

This was so awkward...

But he couldn't run away anymore.

Hadn't he decided that a while ago? It was too bad he couldn't keep his resolutions.

"Seriously, Kaito, if you don't tell me what's wrong right now I'll-"

"Iwasthinkingaboutyou."

The words fell out of Kaito's mouth in a torrent; tripping over his tongue and crashing to the floor like a verbal waterfall.

As soon as he spoke them, he winced.

...That could have gone better.

Why wasn't he _good _at talking? Why had Sasaki created androids- Vocaloids- who were supposedly superior to humans, but had so many crippling character flaws they really weren't that better off? Was Sasaki just vindictive? Did he enjoy withholding perfection from his own creations?

No, that wasn't it- Kaito knew that wasn't true. Sasaki wanted his robots to be truly 'human', and perfect beings could never emphasize with real human beings. It was probably a good thing Kaito was so clumsy, all things considered. He didn't want to turn into a soulless killer like HAL; that wouldn't have been an improvement on the personality he already had.

Not at all.

Not even if yanderes _were _becoming fairly popular, as Rin had said (whilst trying to justify her attempts to push her sometime-business-partner sometime-mortal-enemy, Neru, down the stairs).

Having such a soft-spoken, shy personality was just really, really annoying sometimes. Getting upgraded probably wasn't worth the hassle though, given what had happened to Meiko.

"What did you say...?" Meiko asked slowly, her brows furrowing. "What are you talking about, idiot?"

Kaito breathed in deeply. Then- caring not for the consequences (well, he _did _care, but he didn't want Meiko to know that)- he walked forwards, until he was face-to-face with Meiko.

"I was thinking about you," Kaito admitted softly, his face still flushed despite his apparent 'bravado'. "That's what I was thinking about for six hours. Not shopping…"

Meiko only looked surprised for a few seconds, before something significantly more dangerous fluttered across her face.

Anger.

"Oh yes. I am _so _sure," said Meiko, rolling her eyes. "You've been doing everything in my best interests, even though you've been ignoring me for the past two weeks. It all makes_ perfect_ sense."

Kaito's mouth opened and closed for a while, just like a fish out of water, as his body worked without any input from his brain. What could he say in response to that...?

"Get out of the way, idiot," Meiko snapped, trying to push past Kaito. "If you're going to do a goldfish impersonation then have fun, but I have no interest in watching. My faith in humanity is already perilously low as is."

Kaito turned round, eyes wide with shock. What could he do? He didn't want Meiko to leave. He had to say something! Anything! What? Preferably something related to Meiko and his feelings towards her, and how he was incredibly sorry for being such a moron and taking so long to figure out how important she was, and how he should have confided in her about his fears earlier and how he thought he was a murderer but it was okay because Sakine was still alive and even though he worried about Sakine he knew Meiko better than the young clone and he cared about her more and if she left it'd feel as though something in his chest had exploded-

But he didn't have enough time to say all that! At least, not as eloquently as he wanted! Meiko was already leaving!

He had to think of something!

Something quick!

"M-meiko...! Wait!"

"Why?"

"Because... Because..." Kaito winced. His fingers formed fists. Then, he took a deep breath- and began to shout.

"B-because you're my best friend... A-and I'm sorry if I've upset you... A-and..." He trembled. "I-I don't care what those weird fangirls say, and I don't care what rumors Rin and Neru have been spreading about me and Len! You shouldn't believe them anyway because they're all lies! Meiko... I_ love_ you!"

…This declaration didn't have the desired effect Kaito wanted it to have.

Not by a long shot.

"You already told me that once," Meiko said, voice harsh- though she did stop walking, which was something (it didn't seem like a big enough reaction to a confession, though). "And then you started to ignore me."

"I-I was being stupid...!" Kaito protested helplessly. "You know what I'm like!"

"I do," Meiko said. "And that's why I thought... maybe you didn't mean what you said before. Or you forgot what you told me."

"Y-you think I would _forget _something like that?"

"You always forget to buy the right food when you go shopping," Meiko countered. "You're not the world's most reliable person! Hell, when you tried to 'save' me you showed up five minutes late!"

Kaito winced. "I-I might be a little unreliable... But not about you. I wouldn't. I-I promise."

"Then why did you_ ignore_ me? That kind of behavior isn't really indicative of being in love, you know! Or maybe you thought you were being 'enigmatic' and 'alluring'," Meiko said sarcastically.

Each of her words hit Kaito forcefully, making him feel short of breath and slightly sick.

"I know. I know that, and I'm sorry. _Really._ I-I don't think I deserve a friend as amazing as you, to put up with my useless nature. B-but... I-I hope you're used to it by now," said Kaito quietly, reaching forwards to take Meiko's hand.

She didn't pull away.

At least that was something.

Meiko's eyes remained hard, and when she spoke her voice was even more so; "Habit doesn't excuse it."

"I know... But, whenever I looked at you, I couldn't help but feel... guilty."

"Why?" Meiko demanded, glaring into Kaito's eyes. "Because, by being with me, you were depriving the rest of the world my undeniably amazing nature?"

"I-I guess..." said Kaito, his lips quirking into a small smile against his will. It was dangerous to smile freely around an enraged Meiko, but he couldn't help himself; especially now she seemed willing to listen to him. "But that's not all. Whenever I looked at you, I... I... Was reminded too much of Sakine. And I felt like... I'd stolen her happiness... because I was selfish and preferred you. I-it made me feel pretty bad, to be honest. Like I'd killer her."

Meiko's eyes widened at this unexpected confession.

"But Kaito," she said softly- and, for perhaps the first time in this conversation, she didn't use 'idiot' as a substitute for Kaito's name, or any variation of the insult. "You didn't think our moron of a Master would leave Sakine for _dead_, did you? Not after all the CDs she sold. Even if he wanted to let sleeping ghosts lie, I don't think the fans would've allowed it."

"Yeah... I guess I didn't give it much thought. I-I'm not very logical," said Kaito, with a small laugh. "Not like Rin and Neru. They seem to be very good at business."

"Mm. I heard." Meiko laughed softly. "Although... it's not a bad thing. Being a complete idiot. Some people find it endearing."

"Do you find it endearing?" asked Kaito hopefully.

"If I don't now, I better start. I guess it means you're not cunning enough to deliberately hurt my feelings. Haha... Although..." Meiko's eyes narrowed. "Are you sure that's the only reason you were acting like an idiot?"

Kaito nodded. "Yeah... I-I couldn't stand the thought of... feeling like a murderer."

"Humph. It's not like you'd be smart enough to murder anybody anyways. The least you could do is manslaughter, Bakaito."

"...Talking about murder and manslaughter isn't really making a light-hearted, cheerful atmosphere," Kaito pointed out, smiling. "Can we change the subject?"

"No. I'm still mad at you. I want you to feel uncomfortable."

"Ahaha... You do that a lot of the time anyway, simply by being in the same room as me."

Meiko prodded Kaito sharply in the cheek. "Shut up."

Then, she reached up... And pressed a light kiss against his lips.

"Idiot."

Kaito's face flushed bright crimson and Meiko giggled at him.

"Our color schemes might be opposites, but if you do that every time I kiss you, you'll end up even redder than me..." Meiko muttered, deep in thought. "I wonder if your head will actually start steaming or catch fire. This will be a fun project~"

"Y-you're quite creepy, Mei-chan..."

"Of course." A devilish smile; another quick kiss. "But, I'm kind of curious... When did you figure out what's actually gonna happen to Sakine?"

"A thirty-one year old chimera and her giantess friend told me."

Meiko quirked a brow. "Eh?"

"Yeah. I'm being serious."

"…Did you hit your head or something? Did I seriously give you brain damage from that kiss?"

"No, of course not! I wouldn't make such insane claims without proof." Kaito pulled the slightly-squished, slightly battered taiyaki from his pocket. "They gave me this, but you can have it if you want. Happy belated Christmas."

Meiko narrowed her eyes. "I don't want it."

"What do you want, then?" Kaito asked, slightly confused.

"Oh, honestly." Meiko sighed. It seemed like she was going to be doing that a lot around Kaito. "Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"U-um… Yes?"

Meiko sighed- and with that, she grabbed hold of Kaito's scarf, and pulled him down (no sense in straining herself by going on her tip-toes just because Kaito was stupidly tall) to press another kiss against his lips.

The third.

But not the last.


	24. Epilogue

**Sakine Syndrome****  
**Epilogue

_'The End_"

* * *

Sakine Meiko stood on the stage, a microphone in her hand and bright lights shining in her eyes like fireworks. She should have been afraid. After all, this was her debut, wasn't it? Teto had told her it was perfectly normal to feel afraid (although Teto looked as though she'd neverbeen afraid in her whole life before, giving her happy-go-lucky personality).

Singing in front of thousands of people was supposed to be terrifying, Vocaloid or not.

But Sakine Meiko felt no fear at all.

It was… fine.

And, after all, this wasn't really her first time on stage. Sasaki had told Sakine everything; about Meiko, the other Vocaloids and her first 'life' built in the body of her namesake. Sakine Meiko couldn't really remember everything, and it was probably best she couldn't, but she remembered how happy she had felt before as she stood on the stage and sang.

This was where she belonged.

Maybe, one day, she would meet her other family (Neru spoke a lot about them, and of her business ventures with Rin)- but for now, she had the UTAUloids, and she had her music, and she had her Master, and she had her own body.

She had her life.

She had her happiness.

And nothing else really mattered.

Sakine Meiko swayed slightly to the beat of her newest song, waiting for her cue to sing- though she felt so fear at the thought she would miss it. Missing it seemed almost impossible anyway- n-not that she was being arrogant…! She wasn't arrogant, really… She just felt at ease.

Composed.

It was a nice feeling; as though electricity was surging through her body (or maybe it was; Sakine didn't really know how she'd been build), cracking through her fingertips until they tingled against the cool microphone.

She had to sing for her fans- and also, for herself. It was what she'd been built to do.

She could hardly see her sea of fans owing to the bright lights that flickered across her vision, although she could hear them; a loud swell of cheering that dimmed the louder the music became, like the tide receding on a beach. Sakine could imagine them, though. She could see people behind the cheers; people with wide smiles as they waited for her to sing to them.

They were relying on her.

She had to do her best.

Meiko continued to sway, her skirts fluttering round her thighs in a haze of white and orange material, as she looked across the almost-invisible crowd obscured by fairies of white light.

However…

W-wait…

Her eyes caught on something.

Maybe it was an unimportant detail- a speck of color, like paint on an impressionist painting- but Meiko couldn't tear her gaze away from it.

It was a small haze of teal, splashed across the backdrop of the crowd.

Twin-tails.

T-that group of people in the audience looked kind of familiar...! Even from a distance, Sakine Meiko could tell. She would never be able to forget that girl; she was so famous! She was her older sister figure- her dream, her inspiration, her idol! Was that... Hatsune Miku?

What was Hatsune Miku doing watching her?

And… was Miku with Sasaki?

Meiko felt a little inadequate, stood on the stage whilst a great diva like Hatsune Miku was in the crowd. For the first time, a faint tremor of fear sparked through her body. W-was she really good enough? This was asking a little too much…!

But Miku wasn't alone.

One by one, as Meiko's gaze swept the small corner of the crowd, she placed more and more names to familiar faces.

Teto! Meiko could have told those red twin tails apart anyway- namely because they were almost impossible (although Teto had tried to style her hair like that, but it wasn't long enough. Teto had her own song about her hair, too, called '_Drill Paean'_. Her hair was just _that_ famous. Most idols could only dream of being as renowned as Teto's hair was).

It wasn't just Teto.

Ruko, Ritsu, Rook, Neru, Haku and Iku... Rin and Len... Meiko. And...

Sakine Meiko felt something in her heart constrict.

Blue hair. Blue eyes. A white coat.

_Kaito._

It was Kaito.

And he was… smiling at her.

He'd never smiled at her like that before.

She had to do her best.

She felt a little nervous, given the people who were watching her… But maybe nerves were a good thing. She felt ill, hot and freezing at the same time as cool air tugged at her hair- but she wouldn't give up.

She couldn't.

Sakine Meiko opened her mouth and began to sing.

* * *

**The End**

* * *

**a/n: **And this is the official end of this story! I'll mark it was 'complete', but I might add a few omake chapters at the end just for fun extras :D  
I've reached the end (finally!~) and… I don't really know what to say… XD I hope you like it, and I hope the end lives up to your expectations?

Thank you to everybody who read and reviewed this fic, and all the people who put it on favorites and alerts… And even just the people who liked it :3 I'm very flattered!~ I feel kind of self-conscious about my writing sometimes, but I'm glad people liked it ^_^ It encouraged me to keep going to the bitter end even though I wanted to give up sometimes, and I'm very grateful ^_^;;  
Thank you so much!~~ *hearts*

So might be some fun bonus content to this 'complete' fic if you just wait a couple of days ^_^;

**~renahhchen xoxoxo**


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